The Green Hornet Quotes
Following the death of his father, Britt Reid, heir to his father's large company, teams up with his late dad's assistant Kato to become a masked crime fighting team.
Kato: You shot yourself face by mistake.
Britt Reid: How long was I out? What time is it?
Kato: Two o'clock.
Britt Reid: Oh, that's not so bad.
Kato: On Thursday.
Britt Reid: It's Thursday? Are you ki... It's not Monday right now?
Kato: No. I'm sorry.
Britt Reid: Did you put this diaper on me? Well, what did I miss?
Kato: Nothing really. I did some work on the Black Beauties.
Britt Reid: "Beauties"?
[Britt looks in the garage, sees more "Black Beauty" Chrysler Imperials]
Britt Reid: Holy crap.
Kato: They're backups.
Britt Reid: How the hell did you do this in four days?
Kato: It's been 11 days.
Britt Reid: Whoa, 11 days? What? Are kidding me? I wasn't sleeping, I was in a coma, dick!
Britt Reid: How long was I out? What time is it?
Kato: Two o'clock.
Britt Reid: Oh, that's not so bad.
Kato: On Thursday.
Britt Reid: It's Thursday? Are you ki... It's not Monday right now?
Kato: No. I'm sorry.
Britt Reid: Did you put this diaper on me? Well, what did I miss?
Kato: Nothing really. I did some work on the Black Beauties.
Britt Reid: "Beauties"?
[Britt looks in the garage, sees more "Black Beauty" Chrysler Imperials]
Britt Reid: Holy crap.
Kato: They're backups.
Britt Reid: How the hell did you do this in four days?
Kato: It's been 11 days.
Britt Reid: Whoa, 11 days? What? Are kidding me? I wasn't sleeping, I was in a coma, dick!
[last lines]
Britt Reid: The Green Hornet. His reliable partner, the Blue Wombat.
Kato: [smacks him]
Britt Reid: Oh! Oh, man. Okay, how about, um, the Red Hippopotamus? No? Not Red Hippopotamus?
Kato: Hippos are not red.
Britt Reid: I know. Hornets aren't green. Who cares? The, uh, Orange Albatross.
Britt Reid: The Green Hornet. His reliable partner, the Blue Wombat.
Kato: [smacks him]
Britt Reid: Oh! Oh, man. Okay, how about, um, the Red Hippopotamus? No? Not Red Hippopotamus?
Kato: Hippos are not red.
Britt Reid: I know. Hornets aren't green. Who cares? The, uh, Orange Albatross.
Danny Crystal Cleer: How do I pronounce your name? Tchaikovsky?
Chudnofsky: Chudnofsky.
Danny Crystal Cleer: Char... Chudofsk... Chowdofsky?
Chudnofsky: Chud-nof-sky.
Danny Crystal Cleer: Chudnofsky? All right. Chudnofsky, kiss my ass. Put your lips to my ass and kiss it. French kiss it. Tickle it with your grey whiskers. I got bittersweet news for you. You're washed up. You're old. You're boring. You're not scary. You dress like shit. It's over for you, okay. That's the bitter news. Now the sweet news is: You can retire. You can go play golf, eat your dinners at 3:00 in the afternoon, play with your grandkids, drink Metamucil, old people shit. Okay?
Danny Crystal Cleer: [smiles] Look at me. I got a name people can say. My name's Danny Clear. I deal with crystal meth. People call me Crystal Clear. It's easy. Check out my kick-ass hangout here. I got shit loads of glass everywhere. I got a see-through piano. Look at my boys. They're pimped out. We got Gucci, Armani, another Gucci, tailor-made. This is what you need to get to the top today. Not hard work. Not looking like Disco Santa Claus. You need charisma. You look like my Uncle Greg. Very nice guy, but, he's a dentist. Now consider this your retirement letter. Boom. It's over. See your way out.
Chudnofsky: Chudnofsky.
Danny Crystal Cleer: Char... Chudofsk... Chowdofsky?
Chudnofsky: Chud-nof-sky.
Danny Crystal Cleer: Chudnofsky? All right. Chudnofsky, kiss my ass. Put your lips to my ass and kiss it. French kiss it. Tickle it with your grey whiskers. I got bittersweet news for you. You're washed up. You're old. You're boring. You're not scary. You dress like shit. It's over for you, okay. That's the bitter news. Now the sweet news is: You can retire. You can go play golf, eat your dinners at 3:00 in the afternoon, play with your grandkids, drink Metamucil, old people shit. Okay?
Danny Crystal Cleer: [smiles] Look at me. I got a name people can say. My name's Danny Clear. I deal with crystal meth. People call me Crystal Clear. It's easy. Check out my kick-ass hangout here. I got shit loads of glass everywhere. I got a see-through piano. Look at my boys. They're pimped out. We got Gucci, Armani, another Gucci, tailor-made. This is what you need to get to the top today. Not hard work. Not looking like Disco Santa Claus. You need charisma. You look like my Uncle Greg. Very nice guy, but, he's a dentist. Now consider this your retirement letter. Boom. It's over. See your way out.
[first lines]
Jack Reid: [on the phone] Tell the Mayor, I'm insulted. I would never jeopardize the journalistic integrity of this newspaper for some rent-a-mayor's political agenda.
Jack Reid: [to his son] So Britt, here we are again. Sent home after another schoolyard fight. I know you miss your mother. So do I. But I have to take care of 750 employees, and you have to take care of yourself. Still that seems to be asking too much.
Young Britt: But I was trying to stop some bullies...
Jack Reid: [on the phone] Tell the Mayor, I'm insulted. I would never jeopardize the journalistic integrity of this newspaper for some rent-a-mayor's political agenda.
Jack Reid: [to his son] So Britt, here we are again. Sent home after another schoolyard fight. I know you miss your mother. So do I. But I have to take care of 750 employees, and you have to take care of yourself. Still that seems to be asking too much.
Young Britt: But I was trying to stop some bullies...
Britt Reid: You know what you are. You're a human Swiss army knife.
Kato: I don't know what's that mean?
Britt Reid: It's a little things, and you keep pulling out things, and just when you think there couldn't be any more cool things, a new cool thing comes out, and that's you! You are even dressed like one. You should have a little plus on your chest.
Kato: I don't know what's that mean?
Britt Reid: It's a little things, and you keep pulling out things, and just when you think there couldn't be any more cool things, a new cool thing comes out, and that's you! You are even dressed like one. You should have a little plus on your chest.
