The Guard Quotes
An unorthodox Irish policeman with a confrontational personality is partnered with an up-tight F.B.I. agent to investigate an international drug-smuggling ring.
Gerry Stanton: [while Clive Cornell is handing the bent coppers a briefcase of money] It's all there, yeah?
Clive Cornell: Excuse me?
Gerry Stanton: It's all there?
Clive Cornell: No, it's not. I've skimmed a couple of grand off the top.
Gerry Stanton: What?
Clive Cornell: 'Course it's fucking all there. This is the pay-off, yeah? We pay you off, you and your pals keep your fucking noses out of our business. That's the dynamic in this situation. Why the fuck would I then cheat you out your money? Eh? Why would I do that? That doesn't make any sense. That'd defeat the entire purpose of the fucking interaction. Fuck me!
[walks away angrily]
Clive Cornell: Excuse me?
Gerry Stanton: It's all there?
Clive Cornell: No, it's not. I've skimmed a couple of grand off the top.
Gerry Stanton: What?
Clive Cornell: 'Course it's fucking all there. This is the pay-off, yeah? We pay you off, you and your pals keep your fucking noses out of our business. That's the dynamic in this situation. Why the fuck would I then cheat you out your money? Eh? Why would I do that? That doesn't make any sense. That'd defeat the entire purpose of the fucking interaction. Fuck me!
[walks away angrily]
FBI agent Wendell Everett: [Sergeant Boyle and FBI agent Wendell are driving at night. Boyle asks a question in a friendly manner, idle chat as getting to know each other. FBI agent answers] Two boys. Stocken is five years old and Hughie has just turned three months old. I've got a picture of them.
Sergeant Gerry Boyle, FBI agent Wendell Everett: [Boyle interrupts quickly] Don't want to see it.
FBI agent Wendell Everett: [agent seems confused] Excuse me?
FBI agent Wendell Everett: [straight faced copper explains] I don't want to see it. Babies all look the same. The only time a baby doesn't look like every other baby is when it's a really ugly baby. So unless you're about to show me a photo of a really ugly baby then I don't want to see it.
Sergeant Gerry Boyle: That's pretty fucking rude.
FBI agent Wendell Everett: Maybe it is maybe it isn't.
Sergeant Gerry Boyle, FBI agent Wendell Everett: [Boyle interrupts quickly] Don't want to see it.
FBI agent Wendell Everett: [agent seems confused] Excuse me?
FBI agent Wendell Everett: [straight faced copper explains] I don't want to see it. Babies all look the same. The only time a baby doesn't look like every other baby is when it's a really ugly baby. So unless you're about to show me a photo of a really ugly baby then I don't want to see it.
Sergeant Gerry Boyle: That's pretty fucking rude.
FBI agent Wendell Everett: Maybe it is maybe it isn't.
FBI agent Wendell Everett: [at a house during Boyle's "day off"] How you doin', ma'am. Special Agent Wendell Everett, Federal Bureau of Investigation. I was wondering if I could ask you a few questions?
Woman at Bartley's House: [in Irish] Bartley! There's a black man at the door!
FBI agent Wendell Everett: Oh. You don't... you don't speak any English, huh?
Bartley: [in Irish] What can I do for you?
FBI agent Wendell Everett: And... *you* don't speak any English.
Bartley: [in Irish] This is Ireland. Go over to England if you want to speak English.
FBI agent Wendell Everett: I just wanna show you a few pictures, see if you've... seen any of these men in the last few days? This gentleman...
Bartley: [in Irish] No, I haven't. And even if I had, I wouldn't tell you. Now you'll have to excuse me, I have to fix this lamp. It was a birthday present from my aunt in Australia. Good day to you.
FBI agent Wendell Everett: ...is there anyone else here I -
[door is shut in his face]
Woman at Bartley's House: [in Irish] Bartley! There's a black man at the door!
FBI agent Wendell Everett: Oh. You don't... you don't speak any English, huh?
Bartley: [in Irish] What can I do for you?
FBI agent Wendell Everett: And... *you* don't speak any English.
Bartley: [in Irish] This is Ireland. Go over to England if you want to speak English.
FBI agent Wendell Everett: I just wanna show you a few pictures, see if you've... seen any of these men in the last few days? This gentleman...
Bartley: [in Irish] No, I haven't. And even if I had, I wouldn't tell you. Now you'll have to excuse me, I have to fix this lamp. It was a birthday present from my aunt in Australia. Good day to you.
FBI agent Wendell Everett: ...is there anyone else here I -
[door is shut in his face]
Garda Aidan McBride: You got a call from Galway. You're to head in tonight to attend a briefing from a fella who's over from the FBI. Special Agent Wendell Everett.
Sergeant Gerry Boyle: So what?
Garda Aidan McBride: Maybe it's about the murder. Maybe he's got a psychological profile on the killer or something.
Sergeant Gerry Boyle: It's drug smuggling. Either that or they've had another fuckin' sighting of Whitey Bulger at some fuckin' museum.
Sergeant Gerry Boyle: So what?
Garda Aidan McBride: Maybe it's about the murder. Maybe he's got a psychological profile on the killer or something.
Sergeant Gerry Boyle: It's drug smuggling. Either that or they've had another fuckin' sighting of Whitey Bulger at some fuckin' museum.
