The Happening Quotes
A science teacher, his wife, and a young girl struggle to survive a plague that causes those infected to commit suicide.
Elliot Moore: If we're going to die, I want you to know something. I was in the pharmacy a while ago. There was a really good-looking pharmacist behind the counter. Really good-looking. I went up and asked her where the cough syrup was. I didn't even have a cough, and I almost bought it. I'm talking about a completely superfluous bottle of cough syrup, which costs like six bucks.
Alma Moore: Are you joking?
[Elliot nods his head]
Alma Moore: Thank you.
Alma Moore: Are you joking?
[Elliot nods his head]
Alma Moore: Thank you.
Elliot Moore: [to house plant] Hello. My name is Elliot Moore. I'm just going to talk in a very positive manner, giving off good vibes. We're just here to use the bathroom, and we're just going to leave. I hope that's okay.
[Elliot touches leaf]
Elliot Moore: Plastic. I'm talking to a plastic plant. I'm still doing it.
[Elliot touches leaf]
Elliot Moore: Plastic. I'm talking to a plastic plant. I'm still doing it.
Train Conductor: The train service has been discountinued. This will be the last stop for all passengers.
Elliot Moore: Hey, what do you mean? Where are we?
Train Conductor: Filbert, Pennsylvania.
Elliot Moore: Filbert? Does anybody know where that is? Why are you giving me one useless piece of information at a time? What's going on? Hey, why would you just stop? You can't just leave us here!
Train Conductor: Sir, we lost contact.
Elliot Moore: With whom?
Train Conductor: Everyone.
Elliot Moore: Hey, what do you mean? Where are we?
Train Conductor: Filbert, Pennsylvania.
Elliot Moore: Filbert? Does anybody know where that is? Why are you giving me one useless piece of information at a time? What's going on? Hey, why would you just stop? You can't just leave us here!
Train Conductor: Sir, we lost contact.
Elliot Moore: With whom?
Train Conductor: Everyone.
Elliot Moore: You're not interested in what happened to the bees?
[Jake shakes his head]
Elliot Moore: You should be more interested in science, Jake. You know why? Because your face is perfect. The problem is, your face is perfect at 15. Now if you were interested in science, you would know facts like the human nose and ears grow a fraction of an inch each year. So a perfect balance of features now might not look so perfect five years from now, and might look down right whack ten years from now.
[students laugh]
Elliot Moore: Come on, buddy. Take an interest in science. What could be the reason bees have vanished?
Jake: [after a long pause] An act of nature, and we'll never fully understand it.
Elliot Moore: Nice answer, Jake. He's right. Science will come up with some reason to put in the books, but in the end it'll be just a theory. I mean, we will fail to acknowledge that there are forces at work beyond our understanding. To be a scientist, you must have a respectful awe for the laws of nature.
[Jake raises his hand]
Elliot Moore: Jake?
Jake: How much does the human nose grow each year?
Elliot Moore: It's miniscule, buddy. Okay? Don't worry about it. You're going to be a heartthrob your whole life. I was just messing with you.
[Jake shakes his head]
Elliot Moore: You should be more interested in science, Jake. You know why? Because your face is perfect. The problem is, your face is perfect at 15. Now if you were interested in science, you would know facts like the human nose and ears grow a fraction of an inch each year. So a perfect balance of features now might not look so perfect five years from now, and might look down right whack ten years from now.
[students laugh]
Elliot Moore: Come on, buddy. Take an interest in science. What could be the reason bees have vanished?
Jake: [after a long pause] An act of nature, and we'll never fully understand it.
Elliot Moore: Nice answer, Jake. He's right. Science will come up with some reason to put in the books, but in the end it'll be just a theory. I mean, we will fail to acknowledge that there are forces at work beyond our understanding. To be a scientist, you must have a respectful awe for the laws of nature.
[Jake raises his hand]
Elliot Moore: Jake?
Jake: How much does the human nose grow each year?
Elliot Moore: It's miniscule, buddy. Okay? Don't worry about it. You're going to be a heartthrob your whole life. I was just messing with you.
Principal: [to concerned teachers] Alright, there appears to be an event happening. Central Park was just hit by what seems to be a terrorist attack. They're not clear on the scale yet. It's some kind of airborne chemical toxin that's been released in and around the park. They said to watch for warning signs. The first stage is confused speech. The second stage is physical disorientation, loss of direction. The third stage... is fatal.
Elliot Moore: [Alma looks troubled] What's wrong?
Alma Moore: Okay, I was going to tell you, okay? There was this guy Joey. His name is Joey; he's at work. We went out and we had dessert; I went out and had dessert with him when I told you I worked late and I didn't work late and I'm feeling really guilty in case we're gonna die. I just wanted you to know that.
Elliot Moore: You... lied to me?
Alma Moore: Okay, I was going to tell you, okay? There was this guy Joey. His name is Joey; he's at work. We went out and we had dessert; I went out and had dessert with him when I told you I worked late and I didn't work late and I'm feeling really guilty in case we're gonna die. I just wanted you to know that.
Elliot Moore: You... lied to me?
Nursery Owner: We're packing hot dogs for the road. You know hot dogs get a bad rap? They got a cool shape, they got protein. You like hot dogs right? By the way, I think I know what's causing this.
Elliot Moore: You do?
Nursery Owner: It's the plants. They can release chemicals.
[to his plants]
Nursery Owner: OK babies, we are going to be going, but we will be back soon, OK?
[to Elliot]
Nursery Owner: Oh, plants react to human stimulus, they've proved it in tests.
[to his wife]
Nursery Owner: You get the mustard?
Elliot Moore: You do?
Nursery Owner: It's the plants. They can release chemicals.
[to his plants]
Nursery Owner: OK babies, we are going to be going, but we will be back soon, OK?
[to Elliot]
Nursery Owner: Oh, plants react to human stimulus, they've proved it in tests.
[to his wife]
Nursery Owner: You get the mustard?
Mrs. Jones: [to Elliot and Alma] So what's with you two? Who's chasing who?
Alma Moore: I'm sorry?
Mrs. Jones: Ain't no time two people staring at each other, or standing still, loving both with their eyes are equal. Truth is, someone is chasing someone. That's the way we's built. So, who's chasing?
[Elliot raises his hand]
Alma Moore: I'm sorry?
Mrs. Jones: Ain't no time two people staring at each other, or standing still, loving both with their eyes are equal. Truth is, someone is chasing someone. That's the way we's built. So, who's chasing?
[Elliot raises his hand]
Elliot Moore: [notices a plant moving inside the house they'd intruded upon, slowly walks to it and begins speaking softly to it] Hello? My name is Elliot Moore. Just want to talk in a very positive manner, giving off good vibes. We're just here to use the bathroom, and then we're just going to leave. I hope that's OK.
[feels the plant]
Elliot Moore: Plastic. I'm talking to a plastic plant.
[pauses]
Elliot Moore: I'm still doing it.
[feels the plant]
Elliot Moore: Plastic. I'm talking to a plastic plant.
[pauses]
Elliot Moore: I'm still doing it.
Elliot Moore: [shots are heard firing in the distance] Oh no...
Alma Moore: What "oh no"?
Elliot Moore: The toxin? The toxin's affecting them?
Woman in Group: Are those people killing themselves?
Realtor: You were with the Private, what do we do?
Alma Moore: We need to do something!
Elliot Moore: Just let me think...
Alma Moore: [as shots continually fire in the background] They're dying!
Elliot Moore: I need a second...
Realtor: They released it? We're not near the roads!
Alma Moore: We can't just stand here as uninvolved observers!
Elliot Moore: I need a second okay? Just give me a second!
Alma Moore: We're not gonna be one of those assholes on the news who watches a crime happen and not do something! We're not assholes!
Elliot Moore: Just a second!
Woman in Group: There were children in that group!
Alma Moore: Elliot please tell us what to do!
Elliot Moore: I need a second okay? Why can't anybody give me a goddamn second?
[talks to himself]
Elliot Moore: All right, be scientific, douchebag. Identify the... rules... design the experiment... careful observation, measurements, that's what I'm trying to do, interpret the experimental pattern, interpret... What if it IS the plants? That group was larger than ours. This thing's been escalating all day. Smaller and smaller populations have been setting this off. They react to human stimulus. Maybe people are setting off the plants?
Alma Moore: What are you saying? That guy was crazy! We have to save them!
Elliot Moore: They're already dead! What if they're targeting us as threats? This part of the field may not have been set off. Something in this field could be releasing the chemical into the air when there's too many of us together. Let's just stay ahead of the wind!
Alma Moore: What "oh no"?
Elliot Moore: The toxin? The toxin's affecting them?
Woman in Group: Are those people killing themselves?
Realtor: You were with the Private, what do we do?
Alma Moore: We need to do something!
Elliot Moore: Just let me think...
Alma Moore: [as shots continually fire in the background] They're dying!
Elliot Moore: I need a second...
Realtor: They released it? We're not near the roads!
Alma Moore: We can't just stand here as uninvolved observers!
Elliot Moore: I need a second okay? Just give me a second!
Alma Moore: We're not gonna be one of those assholes on the news who watches a crime happen and not do something! We're not assholes!
Elliot Moore: Just a second!
Woman in Group: There were children in that group!
Alma Moore: Elliot please tell us what to do!
Elliot Moore: I need a second okay? Why can't anybody give me a goddamn second?
[talks to himself]
Elliot Moore: All right, be scientific, douchebag. Identify the... rules... design the experiment... careful observation, measurements, that's what I'm trying to do, interpret the experimental pattern, interpret... What if it IS the plants? That group was larger than ours. This thing's been escalating all day. Smaller and smaller populations have been setting this off. They react to human stimulus. Maybe people are setting off the plants?
Alma Moore: What are you saying? That guy was crazy! We have to save them!
Elliot Moore: They're already dead! What if they're targeting us as threats? This part of the field may not have been set off. Something in this field could be releasing the chemical into the air when there's too many of us together. Let's just stay ahead of the wind!
Nursery Owner: This woman's talking to her daughter. She's talking to her daughter in Princeton. Isn't that where your friend went?
Elliot Moore: Come on!
[they run over to the woman]
Woman on Cell Phone: [speaking to her daughter at Princeton] It's OK, honey, honey, it's OK.
[to the fellow survivors]
Woman on Cell Phone: She's so scared... You just stay in that room, you don't open the door for nothing. Just keep watching out the window with the tree, baby, someone will come and get you soon.
Elliot Moore: Tell her, tell her not to go near the window with the tree, just tell her!
Woman on Cell Phone: Baby, don't go near the window with the tree!
Elliot Moore: Ask her if Princeton's been affected.
Woman on Cell Phone: Honey, someone wants to know if Princeton's had any problems... she says everyone's dead outside.
[they all gasp]
Woman on Cell Phone: You just stay in your room... Honey, honey you're talking funny, what's wrong with you?
Elliot Moore: What do you mean? Everyone's dead?
Woman on Cell Phone: What? Stacy, you're scaring me, I don't, I don't understand what you're saying. What, baby? She's just not making any sense.
Young Woman Voice on Phone: Calculus, I see... in calculus. Calculus. Calculus.
Woman on Cell Phone: Stacy... Stacy...
[loud noise, then silence on Stacy's end of the line]
Woman on Cell Phone: Stacy Ann?
[woman starts weeping]
Woman on Cell Phone: Oh no no no no no Stacy, Stacy, oh no no no... Oh, Stacy!
Elliot Moore: Come on!
[they run over to the woman]
Woman on Cell Phone: [speaking to her daughter at Princeton] It's OK, honey, honey, it's OK.
[to the fellow survivors]
Woman on Cell Phone: She's so scared... You just stay in that room, you don't open the door for nothing. Just keep watching out the window with the tree, baby, someone will come and get you soon.
Elliot Moore: Tell her, tell her not to go near the window with the tree, just tell her!
Woman on Cell Phone: Baby, don't go near the window with the tree!
Elliot Moore: Ask her if Princeton's been affected.
Woman on Cell Phone: Honey, someone wants to know if Princeton's had any problems... she says everyone's dead outside.
[they all gasp]
Woman on Cell Phone: You just stay in your room... Honey, honey you're talking funny, what's wrong with you?
Elliot Moore: What do you mean? Everyone's dead?
Woman on Cell Phone: What? Stacy, you're scaring me, I don't, I don't understand what you're saying. What, baby? She's just not making any sense.
Young Woman Voice on Phone: Calculus, I see... in calculus. Calculus. Calculus.
Woman on Cell Phone: Stacy... Stacy...
[loud noise, then silence on Stacy's end of the line]
Woman on Cell Phone: Stacy Ann?
[woman starts weeping]
Woman on Cell Phone: Oh no no no no no Stacy, Stacy, oh no no no... Oh, Stacy!
Nursery Owner: You know plants have the ability to target specific threats. Tobacco plants when attacked by heliothis caterpillars will send out a chemical attracting wasps to kill just those caterpillars. We don't know how plants obtain these abilities, they just evolve very rapidly.
Alma Moore: Which species is doing it if you think it's true?
Nursery Owner: Plants have the ability to communicate with other species of plants. Trees can communicate with bushes, and bushes with grass, and everything in between.
Alma Moore: Which species is doing it if you think it's true?
Nursery Owner: Plants have the ability to communicate with other species of plants. Trees can communicate with bushes, and bushes with grass, and everything in between.
[last lines]
French Bicyclist: I should drop my bicycle off at the apartment before I go to work.
French Bicyclist's Friend: Can you make Nadia's party tonight?
French Bicyclist: I should drop my bicycle off at the apartment before I go to work.
[a scream is heard in the background]
French Bicyclist's Friend: That frightened me.
French Bicyclist: I should drop my bicycle off.
French Bicyclist's Friend: What?
[the friend sees that everyone has stopped walking as the wind blows]
French Bicyclist's Friend: My god...
French Bicyclist: My bicycle.
French Bicyclist: I should drop my bicycle off at the apartment before I go to work.
French Bicyclist's Friend: Can you make Nadia's party tonight?
French Bicyclist: I should drop my bicycle off at the apartment before I go to work.
[a scream is heard in the background]
French Bicyclist's Friend: That frightened me.
French Bicyclist: I should drop my bicycle off.
French Bicyclist's Friend: What?
[the friend sees that everyone has stopped walking as the wind blows]
French Bicyclist's Friend: My god...
French Bicyclist: My bicycle.
Julian: Hey, I'm going to tell you something that you should never tell your best friend.
Elliot Moore: Why is everybody saying that?
Julian: [referring to Alma] I saw her on your wedding day.
Elliot Moore: Again with the wedding. What?
Julian: I walked into her waiting room by mistake, and she was crying. She looked up and I saw her face. She wasn't ready to jump in, Elliot. That's not who she is. She's never going to jump in when you need her, man.
Elliot Moore: Why is everybody saying that?
Julian: [referring to Alma] I saw her on your wedding day.
Elliot Moore: Again with the wedding. What?
Julian: I walked into her waiting room by mistake, and she was crying. She looked up and I saw her face. She wasn't ready to jump in, Elliot. That's not who she is. She's never going to jump in when you need her, man.
Elliot Moore: Do you remember our first date? You were so quiet.
Alma Moore: You bought me the mood ring.
Elliot Moore: It turned purple when you wore it.
Alma Moore: Then you said "that means you're in love".
Elliot Moore: Got you to talk, didn't it?
Alma Moore: But then we checked the little paper chart and it turned out that it meant that I was horny. You loved that.
Elliot Moore: I had no idea.
Alma Moore: Yours was blue. Peaceful, right?
Elliot Moore: Right.
Alma Moore: What color was love?
Elliot Moore: I don't remember.
Alma Moore: Me neither.
Alma Moore: You bought me the mood ring.
Elliot Moore: It turned purple when you wore it.
Alma Moore: Then you said "that means you're in love".
Elliot Moore: Got you to talk, didn't it?
Alma Moore: But then we checked the little paper chart and it turned out that it meant that I was horny. You loved that.
Elliot Moore: I had no idea.
Alma Moore: Yours was blue. Peaceful, right?
Elliot Moore: Right.
Alma Moore: What color was love?
Elliot Moore: I don't remember.
Alma Moore: Me neither.
Private Auster: My name is Private Auster. I'm stationed at Westover Military Base about ten miles back. I think they've been affected by whatever's happening. I lost communication with them. When I approached the base, I saw military personnel in... the barbed wire in... the fence. So I suggest no one take that road.
Nursery Owner: There's a town about eight miles behind us. There were bodies on the road into town.
Private Auster: Cheese and crackers.
Nursery Owner: There's a town about eight miles behind us. There were bodies on the road into town.
Private Auster: Cheese and crackers.
Julian: Don't look outside. Stop it! Stop it! Just look at me. Just keep looking at me. Close the vents. I'm going to give you a math riddle, okay? And you're going to tell me the answer.
Panicked Woman in Car: What?
Julian: How much... how much would you have if I said I would pay you a penny on the first day, and then two pennies on the second, and then four pennies on the third, and then it just kept doubling and it did this for a month. How much money would you have at the end of the month?
Panicked Woman in Car: Ten dollars?
Julian: Higher. Just keep looking at me. Just keep looking at me.
Panicked Woman in Car: Twenty dollars?
Julian: No. Keep going. Keep going.
Panicked Woman in Car: Thirty. It's thirty dollars.
Julian: I'll tell you the answer. It's over ten million dollars. You'd have over ten million dollars at the end of the month. Want to hear another one?
Panicked Woman in Car: What?
Julian: How much... how much would you have if I said I would pay you a penny on the first day, and then two pennies on the second, and then four pennies on the third, and then it just kept doubling and it did this for a month. How much money would you have at the end of the month?
Panicked Woman in Car: Ten dollars?
Julian: Higher. Just keep looking at me. Just keep looking at me.
Panicked Woman in Car: Twenty dollars?
Julian: No. Keep going. Keep going.
Panicked Woman in Car: Thirty. It's thirty dollars.
Julian: I'll tell you the answer. It's over ten million dollars. You'd have over ten million dollars at the end of the month. Want to hear another one?
Elliot Moore: You know that everyone gives off energy, right? It's scientifically proven. They got these cameras that can record what color you are when you're feeling different things. People that are angry give off a different color than people that are sad. See this ring? This ring can supposedly tell you what you're feeling. Let's see what you're feeling right now.
[places mood ring on Jess' finger]
Elliot Moore: Oh yellow! Well that's cool. That means you're about to laugh.
[Jess looks at Elliot dead serious]
Elliot Moore: I'm not making it up. That's what yellow means. You must be about to laugh or something. Something good's probably about to come out. We'll wait.
[Jess starts to smile]
Elliot Moore: I got all day.
[Elliot makes a noise and Jess laughs]
[places mood ring on Jess' finger]
Elliot Moore: Oh yellow! Well that's cool. That means you're about to laugh.
[Jess looks at Elliot dead serious]
Elliot Moore: I'm not making it up. That's what yellow means. You must be about to laugh or something. Something good's probably about to come out. We'll wait.
[Jess starts to smile]
Elliot Moore: I got all day.
[Elliot makes a noise and Jess laughs]
