The Kings of Summer

The Kings of Summer Quotes

Three teenage friends, in the ultimate act of independence, decide to spend their summer building a house in the woods and living off the land.

Biaggio: In Italian, the word for snake means 'the demon's cock'.
Patrick: No it doesn't.
Biaggio: There's a chance that it doesn't.
Joe: Vicki's making eyes at you man. Go talk to her. She's so into it.
Biaggio: There's no point in me talking to her anyways.
Joe: Why not?
Biaggio: Joe, I'm gay.
Joe: Are you sure?
Biaggio: Yes, my lungs fill up every time the seasons change.
Joe: That's not being gay, Biaggio.
Biaggio: What?
Joe: Pretty sure that's Cystic Fibrosis.
Biaggio: Oh.
Joe: I don't trust that old guy.
Biaggio: He has a shadow behind his eyes.
Vicki: How long have you been standing there?
Biaggio: Hello
Joe: That's not an answer.
Patrick: I can deal with the fact that the chickens are store bought. Okay? I can! But it really bothers me that the loaded potato isn't Biagio's recipe...
Joe: No! No no, that actually really is. I- I honestly have no idea where he's getting chives.
Frank: You're right, it's a classic kidnapping. They took our children and the canned goods and pasta.
Frank: My question for you, Gary, is: How do you want me to eat these with my normal human mouth? Do you want me to unhinge my jaw like an anaconda? Should I put this in my belly and lay out in the sun for two months, digesting it?
Frank: Yes, I experienced a childhood on the planet Earth. I've heard the story of the boy who cried wolf.
Biaggio: Do you know we've been walking for half a mile? I can tell by how much we've bonded.
Joe: You haven't said a word the whole time.
Vicki: So Biaggio, what do you do?
Biaggio: I met a dog the other day, it taught me how to die.
Rookie Cop: Ah, sarcasm. The poor man's wit.
Joe: Ah... Is anything better than a good stogie, Biaggio?
Biaggio: Being in a situation where it's easier to lie but you choose to tell the truth.
Joe: Hmm. Guess that's better.
Joe: You made these?
Biaggio: I did. It took very little time. Very few days.
Rookie Cop: Mr. Toy, are you familiar with the boy who cried wolf?
Frank: Yes I have experienced a childhood on the planet earth, so... yes I've heard of that one
Frank: Do you think you can apply it to my situation in an allegorical fashion?
Frank: Silence, land trunt.

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