The Last Starfighter Quotes
A discouraged video-gaming boy finds himself recruited as a gunner for an alien defense force.
Alex Rogan: Wait a minute... when did the hangar go up?
Grig: I told you! When Xur attacked!
Alex Rogan: And where were the Starfighters?
Grig: In the hangar!
Alex Rogan: You mean they're dead?
Grig: [scoffs] Death is a primitive concept. I prefer to think of them as battling evil in another dimension.
Alex Rogan: In another dimension? How many are left?
Grig: Including yourself?
Alex Rogan: Yeah.
Grig: One!
Alex Rogan: *One*?
[the Gunstar takes off]
Grig: I told you! When Xur attacked!
Alex Rogan: And where were the Starfighters?
Grig: In the hangar!
Alex Rogan: You mean they're dead?
Grig: [scoffs] Death is a primitive concept. I prefer to think of them as battling evil in another dimension.
Alex Rogan: In another dimension? How many are left?
Grig: Including yourself?
Alex Rogan: Yeah.
Grig: One!
Alex Rogan: *One*?
[the Gunstar takes off]
Grig: [looking at battle plans] The Armada will break through the Frontier here, and reach Rylos in about 20 clicks. Squadrons of deck fighters will precede the mothership.
Alex Rogan: Squadrons? How many squadrons?
Grig: It isn't the number of squadrons that concerns me, it's this communication turret that sends out the commands to the deck fighters, which enables them to act as one during the fight.
Alex Rogan: Wait a second. We knock out the turret to get the fighters. But to get the turret, we gotta get *through* the fighters. We're dead!
Grig: I'll have it all figured out by the time we reach the Frontier.
[alarm sounds; Grig's face falls]
Alex Rogan: What's that?
Grig: The Frontier.
Alex Rogan: Squadrons? How many squadrons?
Grig: It isn't the number of squadrons that concerns me, it's this communication turret that sends out the commands to the deck fighters, which enables them to act as one during the fight.
Alex Rogan: Wait a second. We knock out the turret to get the fighters. But to get the turret, we gotta get *through* the fighters. We're dead!
Grig: I'll have it all figured out by the time we reach the Frontier.
[alarm sounds; Grig's face falls]
Alex Rogan: What's that?
Grig: The Frontier.
Maggie Gordon: Alex in space? Is this for real?
Beta: Yes! That's what I'm trying to tell you - it's ALL for real.
Maggie Gordon: Well then don't talk, DRIVE!
Beta: There he is. When I get the signal, we're gonna jump, okay?
Maggie Gordon: What do you mean jump?
Beta: We're gonna ram him.
Maggie Gordon: [shocked] What?
Beta: Are you ready? Jump!
Maggie Gordon: Alex!
[jumps off the truck]
Beta: [grimly smiles] You owe me one, Alex.
[sacrifices himself]
Beta: Yes! That's what I'm trying to tell you - it's ALL for real.
Maggie Gordon: Well then don't talk, DRIVE!
Beta: There he is. When I get the signal, we're gonna jump, okay?
Maggie Gordon: What do you mean jump?
Beta: We're gonna ram him.
Maggie Gordon: [shocked] What?
Beta: Are you ready? Jump!
Maggie Gordon: Alex!
[jumps off the truck]
Beta: [grimly smiles] You owe me one, Alex.
[sacrifices himself]
Grig: Remember, Death Blossom delivers only one massive volley at close range... theoretically.
Alex Rogan: What do you mean "theoretically?"
Grig: After all, D.B. has never been tested. It might overload the systems, blow up the ship!
Alex Rogan: What are you worried about, Grig? Theoretically, we should already be dead!
Alex Rogan: What do you mean "theoretically?"
Grig: After all, D.B. has never been tested. It might overload the systems, blow up the ship!
Alex Rogan: What are you worried about, Grig? Theoretically, we should already be dead!
Centauri: Alex! Alex! You're walking away from history! History, Alex! Did Chris Columbus stay home? Nooooo. What if the Wright Brothers thought that only birds should fly? And did Galoka think that the Ulus were too ugly to save?
Alex Rogan: Who's Galoka?
Centauri: Never mind.
Alex Rogan: Listen, Centauri. I'm not any of those guys, I'm a kid from a trailer park.
Centauri: If that's what you think, then that's all you'll ever be!
Alex Rogan: Who's Galoka?
Centauri: Never mind.
Alex Rogan: Listen, Centauri. I'm not any of those guys, I'm a kid from a trailer park.
Centauri: If that's what you think, then that's all you'll ever be!
Grig: [watching Alex struggling with the gunnery chair] Steady. Don't fight the chair. Take your time. Watch your gun sight. Lead your targets. And above all, relax!
Alex Rogan: [stops to take off his gloves, then continues] Terrific. I'm about to get killed a million miles from nowhere with a gung-ho iguana who tells me to relax.
Alex Rogan: [stops to take off his gloves, then continues] Terrific. I'm about to get killed a million miles from nowhere with a gung-ho iguana who tells me to relax.
Alex Rogan: Hold it! There's no fleet? No Starfighters, no plan? One ship, you, me, and that's it?
Grig: Exactly! Xur thinks you're still on Earth. Classic military strategy, surprise attack.
Alex Rogan: It'll be a slaughter!
Grig: That's the spirit!
Alex Rogan: No, *my* slaughter! One ship against the whole Armada?
Grig: Yes, one Gunstar against the Armada. I've always wanted to fight a desperate battle against incredible odds.
Grig: Exactly! Xur thinks you're still on Earth. Classic military strategy, surprise attack.
Alex Rogan: It'll be a slaughter!
Grig: That's the spirit!
Alex Rogan: No, *my* slaughter! One ship against the whole Armada?
Grig: Yes, one Gunstar against the Armada. I've always wanted to fight a desperate battle against incredible odds.
Centauri: The amusing thing about this, it's all a big mistake. *That* particular Starfighter game was supposed to be delivered to Vegas, not some flea-speck trailer park in the middle of tumbleweeds and tarantulas. So it must be fate, destiny, blind chance, luck even, that brings us together. And as the poet said, "the rest is history".
Alex Rogan: Where are you going? Where are you taking me?
Centauri: I told you, I want to save it for a surprise. Hey, are you the kind of kid who reads the last page of a mystery first? Who pesters the magician to tell you his tricks? Who sneaks downstairs to peek at his Christmas presents? Noooo, of course you're not.
[singsong voice]
Centauri: That's why I'm not gonna tell you!
Alex Rogan: Oh, God.
Centauri: Besides, I just love surprises, don't you?
Alex Rogan: Where are you going? Where are you taking me?
Centauri: I told you, I want to save it for a surprise. Hey, are you the kind of kid who reads the last page of a mystery first? Who pesters the magician to tell you his tricks? Who sneaks downstairs to peek at his Christmas presents? Noooo, of course you're not.
[singsong voice]
Centauri: That's why I'm not gonna tell you!
Alex Rogan: Oh, God.
Centauri: Besides, I just love surprises, don't you?
Centauri: Get a good look, Alex, you can bet your asteroids you'll be seeing more of them
[refering to a dead Zando-Zan sent to kill Alex Rogan]
Alex Rogan: What?
Centauri: This is a Zando-Zan. An interstellar hit-beast. Courtesy of Xur.
Alex Rogan: Xur? Why's he after me?
Centauri: Somehow he found out you're a Starfighter.
Beta: You see, Alex, you've gotta go back. You stay here, you're dog meat.
Centauri: Trust Centauri on this, my boy. Because in two hours, this park will be crawling with ten Zando-Zans, with just one thought on their microscopic little minds: kill Alex Rogan.
[refering to a dead Zando-Zan sent to kill Alex Rogan]
Alex Rogan: What?
Centauri: This is a Zando-Zan. An interstellar hit-beast. Courtesy of Xur.
Alex Rogan: Xur? Why's he after me?
Centauri: Somehow he found out you're a Starfighter.
Beta: You see, Alex, you've gotta go back. You stay here, you're dog meat.
Centauri: Trust Centauri on this, my boy. Because in two hours, this park will be crawling with ten Zando-Zans, with just one thought on their microscopic little minds: kill Alex Rogan.
Kril's Controller: ...We have a break in the Frontier.
Lord Kril: Fire the meteor gun!
Xur: MY *DEAR* KODAN FRIENDS... Lest we forget, it was your own Emperor who charged me with command of this armada... For only *I* hold the secret to the Frontier... Just as only *I* know the location of the Starfighter base... And therefore, ONLY *I* WILL GIVE THE ORDER TO FIRE!
Lord Kril: Forgive me, Xur.
Xur: You are forgiven, Kril. Meteor gunner... Ready... And FIRE AT WILL!
[He does so, destroying the Starfighter base]
Xur: ... At last it is done! Soon the Frontier will be down, and the Rylans will bow to their new Emperor...! Or I will darken the sky with their ashes.
Kril's Lieutenant: [aside, to Kril] How long must we endure this fool?
Lord Kril: Fire the meteor gun!
Xur: MY *DEAR* KODAN FRIENDS... Lest we forget, it was your own Emperor who charged me with command of this armada... For only *I* hold the secret to the Frontier... Just as only *I* know the location of the Starfighter base... And therefore, ONLY *I* WILL GIVE THE ORDER TO FIRE!
Lord Kril: Forgive me, Xur.
Xur: You are forgiven, Kril. Meteor gunner... Ready... And FIRE AT WILL!
[He does so, destroying the Starfighter base]
Xur: ... At last it is done! Soon the Frontier will be down, and the Rylans will bow to their new Emperor...! Or I will darken the sky with their ashes.
Kril's Lieutenant: [aside, to Kril] How long must we endure this fool?
Alex Rogan: Store's closed, mister.
Centauri: I'm not here for cigarettes or bubble gum, my boy. Can you tell me the name of the person who broke the record on that game over there, and where I might find him?
Alex Rogan: Alex Rogan, and you're looking at him.
Centauri: Alex Rogan. Ha ha ha!
Alex Rogan: Who are you?
Centauri: Centauri's the name. I invented Starfighter, which is why I'm here.
Alex Rogan: It is?
Centauri: It is. We have to talk about a matter of utmost importance. Step into my office.
[gestures toward the back seat of his car]
Centauri: Step into my office.
Centauri: I'm not here for cigarettes or bubble gum, my boy. Can you tell me the name of the person who broke the record on that game over there, and where I might find him?
Alex Rogan: Alex Rogan, and you're looking at him.
Centauri: Alex Rogan. Ha ha ha!
Alex Rogan: Who are you?
Centauri: Centauri's the name. I invented Starfighter, which is why I'm here.
Alex Rogan: It is?
Centauri: It is. We have to talk about a matter of utmost importance. Step into my office.
[gestures toward the back seat of his car]
Centauri: Step into my office.
Enduran: Aeons ago, our ancestors created our great Frontier, a barrier of energy encircling the peaceful systems of the Universe and forever shutting out the scourge that plagues beyond. Fellow Rylans, because of a dark betrayal... our Frontier will soon collapse. So we turn to you, Starfighters and your Navigators, whom of all the billions of creatures in the Star League, only you few were found to possess the umm..."gift." YOU... and you alone... stand between us and the black terror of the Ko-Dan. VICTORY OR DEATH!
[All chant VICTORY OR DEATH!]
[All chant VICTORY OR DEATH!]
Rylan Bursar: Return the money, Centauri.
Centauri: Return the money? Are you delirious? Do you know how long it took to invent the games? To merchandise them? To get them in the stores by Christmas?
Grig: It must be terribly embarrassing for you and I do sympathize, however...
Centauri: But I saw him fight! He could be the greatest Starfighter ever!
Alex Rogan: That was just a game, Centauri!
Centauri: A game! Well, you may thought it was a game, but it was also a test. Aha, a test. Sent out across the universe to find those with the gift to be Starfighters. And here you are, my boy! Here you are!
Alex Rogan: Right, here I am, about to be killed
Centauri: Killed! You don't seriously think it's dangerous, do you? Don't be silly! Trust me!
Centauri: Return the money? Are you delirious? Do you know how long it took to invent the games? To merchandise them? To get them in the stores by Christmas?
Grig: It must be terribly embarrassing for you and I do sympathize, however...
Centauri: But I saw him fight! He could be the greatest Starfighter ever!
Alex Rogan: That was just a game, Centauri!
Centauri: A game! Well, you may thought it was a game, but it was also a test. Aha, a test. Sent out across the universe to find those with the gift to be Starfighters. And here you are, my boy! Here you are!
Alex Rogan: Right, here I am, about to be killed
Centauri: Killed! You don't seriously think it's dangerous, do you? Don't be silly! Trust me!
Rylan Bursar: [disgustedly] Rrrr... E sanchay!
Centauri: E sanchay? Onee mat swella! Preeta! Preeta!
Alex Rogan: Centauri, what's going on here?
Centauri: He's just saying how delighted he is that you're here, and if there's anything he can do make your stay more enjoyable, just give him a ring.
Alex Rogan: My stay! What are you talking about? Where are we?
Centauri: Welcome to Rylos, my boy!
Alex Rogan: Rylos! Wait a min-... you mean, you mean... like the game?
Centauri: Oh, he's quick! He's quick! He's very quick! He's speechless! So long, Alex! Have fun! May the luck of the Seven Pillars of Gulu be with you at all times!
[muttering]
Centauri: Oh, someday these cheapskates will thank Centauri, trust me.
Centauri: E sanchay? Onee mat swella! Preeta! Preeta!
Alex Rogan: Centauri, what's going on here?
Centauri: He's just saying how delighted he is that you're here, and if there's anything he can do make your stay more enjoyable, just give him a ring.
Alex Rogan: My stay! What are you talking about? Where are we?
Centauri: Welcome to Rylos, my boy!
Alex Rogan: Rylos! Wait a min-... you mean, you mean... like the game?
Centauri: Oh, he's quick! He's quick! He's very quick! He's speechless! So long, Alex! Have fun! May the luck of the Seven Pillars of Gulu be with you at all times!
[muttering]
Centauri: Oh, someday these cheapskates will thank Centauri, trust me.
Louis Rogan: [trying to sleep, angry] What's up, Alex?
Alex Rogan: [walking out] Back to sleep, Louis, or I'm telling Mom about your Playboys!
Beta: You're blowing it, Alex.
Louis Rogan: [looks down from the bed, shocked] What the shit?
Beta: [imitating Alex] I said, back to sleep Louis, or I'm telling Mom about your Playboys!
Alex Rogan: [walking out] Back to sleep, Louis, or I'm telling Mom about your Playboys!
Beta: You're blowing it, Alex.
Louis Rogan: [looks down from the bed, shocked] What the shit?
Beta: [imitating Alex] I said, back to sleep Louis, or I'm telling Mom about your Playboys!
Alex Rogan: Centauri! I thought you were dead.
Centauri: Me, die? And miss all the excitement? Ha-ha, no. I was merely dormant while my body repaired itself. Ah well, enough with the details. Suffice it to say, you're on Rylos, my boy. Stop thinking human, that's lesson number one. Lesson number two...
[leans in]
Centauri: You've got a good thing going here. Keep smiling, don't blow it. Lesson number three: Always trust Centauri...
Centauri: Me, die? And miss all the excitement? Ha-ha, no. I was merely dormant while my body repaired itself. Ah well, enough with the details. Suffice it to say, you're on Rylos, my boy. Stop thinking human, that's lesson number one. Lesson number two...
[leans in]
Centauri: You've got a good thing going here. Keep smiling, don't blow it. Lesson number three: Always trust Centauri...
