The Pacifier Quotes
Disgraced Navy SEAL Shane Wolfe is handed a new assignment: Protect the five Plummer kids from enemies of their recently deceased father -- a government scientist whose top-secret experiment remains in the kids' house.
Lulu Plummer: Do you know Kung Fu?
Shane Wolfe: Yes.
Lulu Plummer: Have you ever hit a guy so hard his head came off?
Shane Wolfe: No.
Lulu Plummer: Why are your boobs so big?
Shane Wolfe: [shocked] They are not... boobs.
Lulu Plummer: Do you have to wear a bra?
Shane Wolfe: What?
Lulu Plummer: Will mine be as big as yours one day?
Shane Wolfe: Isn't it about time you go nappy-poo in beddy-bye land?
Lulu Plummer: Do I look like I'm five?
Shane Wolfe: What did I say?
Lulu Plummer: Disrespectful. And to think I was interested in you.
Shane Wolfe: Yes.
Lulu Plummer: Have you ever hit a guy so hard his head came off?
Shane Wolfe: No.
Lulu Plummer: Why are your boobs so big?
Shane Wolfe: [shocked] They are not... boobs.
Lulu Plummer: Do you have to wear a bra?
Shane Wolfe: What?
Lulu Plummer: Will mine be as big as yours one day?
Shane Wolfe: Isn't it about time you go nappy-poo in beddy-bye land?
Lulu Plummer: Do I look like I'm five?
Shane Wolfe: What did I say?
Lulu Plummer: Disrespectful. And to think I was interested in you.
Shane Wolfe: When you're down and low, lower than the floor, And you feel like you ain't got a chance. Bom, bom, bom, Don't make a move till you're in the groove And do the Peter Panda Dance:
[Clap twice]
Shane Wolfe: 'Just hop three times like a kangaroo, Side-step twice just like those/the crabs do, Three steps forward, one step back. Quick like a turtle, lie on your back!
[Whispering]
Shane Wolfe: 'Roll like a log till you can't roll no more!' Better jump up quick like there ain't no floor, Hold your breath, and jump/step/slide to the left'; And that's the Peter, I swear that's the Peter, That's the Peter Panda Dance!
[And then he goes on and say]
Shane Wolfe: Goodnight, Peter Panda!
[Clap twice]
Shane Wolfe: 'Just hop three times like a kangaroo, Side-step twice just like those/the crabs do, Three steps forward, one step back. Quick like a turtle, lie on your back!
[Whispering]
Shane Wolfe: 'Roll like a log till you can't roll no more!' Better jump up quick like there ain't no floor, Hold your breath, and jump/step/slide to the left'; And that's the Peter, I swear that's the Peter, That's the Peter Panda Dance!
[And then he goes on and say]
Shane Wolfe: Goodnight, Peter Panda!
Director: We open in a week, people! The set isn't finished. Mother Abbess just quit because she has shingles. And, every step-ball change would make Bob Fosse rise from the grave just so he could have a heart attack again!
Seth Plummer: I'll get it right.
Director: No, you won't. You and your... *mother* over here can't get it right. And, I know this because I am a professional. I directed Show Boat with Greg Brady. It wasn't union, but it was good. Good! Good! Good!
[puts hand up to rest up against prop, but crashes through it and falls down and then gets up and straightens himself out]
Director: Obviously, I quit!
Seth Plummer: I'll get it right.
Director: No, you won't. You and your... *mother* over here can't get it right. And, I know this because I am a professional. I directed Show Boat with Greg Brady. It wasn't union, but it was good. Good! Good! Good!
[puts hand up to rest up against prop, but crashes through it and falls down and then gets up and straightens himself out]
Director: Obviously, I quit!
Shane Wolfe: Once upon a time, there was a family of elves and one day the little elf family went into the magic forest to look for a secret gnome facility. The gnomes were turning mushrooms into uranium, so three of the elves laid down heavy suppressive fire on the gnomes while the others manoeuvered around to the right flank, killing all those left alive.
