The Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists! Quotes
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Pirate Captain sets out on a mission to defeat his rivals Black Bellamy and Cutlass Liz for the Pirate of the year Award. The quest takes Captain and his crew from the shores of Blood Island to the foggy streets of Victorian London.
Pirate Captain: And that's why, in a straight fight, a shark would probably beat a Dracula.
Pirate Captain: Now listen Charles, we've all done something unforgivable. I've betrayed my pirate honor, you've betrayed science, and Mr. Bobo's betrayed the animal kingdom.
[from trailer] Pirate Captain: [looks at Darwin's house] You don't get many girls, do you? Bobo: No. He. Doesn't.
Pirate Captain: Fire the long things that go bang!
[from trailer] Pirate Captain: Behind every captain, there's a crew. Sure, some of you are as ugly as a sea cucumber, some of you are closer to being a chair or coat rack than a pirate, and some of you are fish I've just dressed up in a hat...
[from trailer] Pirate Captain: What pirates? Nobody here but us girl scouts! [the crew is disguised in scout uniforms] Bobo: Yeah. Right.
[from trailer] Pirate Captain: Avast! I'm a pirate captain, and I'm here for your gold! Sailor: Gold? Afraid we don't have any gold, old man. This is a leper boat. [his arm falls off] Sailor: See?
[from trailer] Pirate with Scarf: Can we get there? Pirate Captain: Yes, but unfortunately there's this dirty great sea monster in the way. Charles Darwin: I think they just add those on the maps for decoration. Pirate Captain: Is that a fact? [they go that way, and the monster appears and eats the ship] Pirate with Scarf: See? I told you!
Charles Darwin: Yeah, I had this theory. I thought that if you took a monkey, gave him a monocle and covered up his gigantic unsightly ass, then he'd cease to be a monkey and become more of a "manpanzee," if you will.
[from trailer] Black Bellamy: You want to be Pirate of the Year? Do they just give it to the guy with the fattest parrot? Pirate Captain: She's not fat, she's just big-boned! Black Bellamy: She's fat, dude! [the Dodo vomits on Bellamy] Black Bellamy: Dude, come on!
[from trailer] Peg Leg Hastings: The Pirate of the Year Awards... Pirate Captain: Every time I've entered, I've failed to win. So, I must have a really good chance this time!
[from trailer] Cutlass Liz: That trophy has got MY name on it.
[from trailer] Queen Victoria: I HATE PIRATES!
[from trailer] Pirate Captain: You're the best crew a captain could wish for!