The Return of the Pink Panther Quotes
Inspector Clouseau is put on the case when the Pink Panther diamond is stolen, with the Phantom's trademark glove the only clue.
Col. Sharky: [after examining the scene of stolen Pink Panther, Clouseau notices the wire on the floor] Very ingenious.
Police Chief Lundallah: [annoyed] He pulled himself across the floor.
Clouseau: He did?
Police Chief Lundallah: How else could he have avoided our radar field?
Clouseau: Yes, how else. Hmm. Of course he would have needed a very slippery floor to do that.
Police Chief Lundallah: Therefore, the wax.
Clouseau: The wax? AGHH!
[Clouseau steps on the wax and falls to the floor]
Col. Sharky: Are you alright, Inspector?
Clouseau: [on his knees] Of course I'm alright. I'm... examining the wax.
[sniffs the wax on the floor]
Clouseau: Have you taken a sample of this wax?
Police Chief Lundallah: Wax is wax!
Clouseau: See, this is where you are wrong. Wax is NOT just wax. In this case it is a clue. Domestic wax, Belgian Wax, French Wax, English Wax...
Col. Sharky: Ah, the Inspector is right. Have the wax tested immediately.
Clouseau: [grabing the mechanical arm from the jewel stand] It is my guess that you will find it is English wax.
Police Chief Lundallah: Why?
Clouseau: Because your thief is an Englishman.
Col. Sharky: How do you know that?
Clouseau: It is my business to know that. He is Sir Charles Phantom, the notorious Lytton.
Police Chief Lundallah: The Phantom?
Clouseau: Yes, one and the same.
[the mechanical arm grabs Clouseaus's crotch]
Police Chief Lundallah: [annoyed] He pulled himself across the floor.
Clouseau: He did?
Police Chief Lundallah: How else could he have avoided our radar field?
Clouseau: Yes, how else. Hmm. Of course he would have needed a very slippery floor to do that.
Police Chief Lundallah: Therefore, the wax.
Clouseau: The wax? AGHH!
[Clouseau steps on the wax and falls to the floor]
Col. Sharky: Are you alright, Inspector?
Clouseau: [on his knees] Of course I'm alright. I'm... examining the wax.
[sniffs the wax on the floor]
Clouseau: Have you taken a sample of this wax?
Police Chief Lundallah: Wax is wax!
Clouseau: See, this is where you are wrong. Wax is NOT just wax. In this case it is a clue. Domestic wax, Belgian Wax, French Wax, English Wax...
Col. Sharky: Ah, the Inspector is right. Have the wax tested immediately.
Clouseau: [grabing the mechanical arm from the jewel stand] It is my guess that you will find it is English wax.
Police Chief Lundallah: Why?
Clouseau: Because your thief is an Englishman.
Col. Sharky: How do you know that?
Clouseau: It is my business to know that. He is Sir Charles Phantom, the notorious Lytton.
Police Chief Lundallah: The Phantom?
Clouseau: Yes, one and the same.
[the mechanical arm grabs Clouseaus's crotch]
Doctor: Describe your thoughts. Get them out in the open. You'll feel much better.
Dreyfus: All right. See, it's always the same. Clouseau is sitting there, in a chair, just like you, with his back to me. Then suddenly, my hands go round his throat, and I begin to squeeze. It's wonderful. It's marvelous. I'm squeezing. And the more I squeeze, the freer I feel. I'm in ecstasy. And then suddenly, suddenly my problem is solv-ved.
[while Dreyfus has been talking, he has been unintentionally strangling the doctor. He suddenly becomes aware of this as the doctor falls to the floor]
Dreyfus: Doctor! DOCTOR!
Dreyfus: All right. See, it's always the same. Clouseau is sitting there, in a chair, just like you, with his back to me. Then suddenly, my hands go round his throat, and I begin to squeeze. It's wonderful. It's marvelous. I'm squeezing. And the more I squeeze, the freer I feel. I'm in ecstasy. And then suddenly, suddenly my problem is solv-ved.
[while Dreyfus has been talking, he has been unintentionally strangling the doctor. He suddenly becomes aware of this as the doctor falls to the floor]
Dreyfus: Doctor! DOCTOR!
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: [at Lytton Manor in Nice, while working undercover as a telephone repairman, Clouseau has already annihilated the Lyttons' doorbell!] ... I am from the Nice Telephone Company; there is some trouble with your phone.
Mac: ...I don't think there's any trouble with the telephones here.
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: I know when there is a trouble, and when there is not a trouble, and you may rest assured that there is a trouble.
Mac: Since when?
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Since it was reported.
Mac: By whom? And what sort of trouble is it?
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: If I knew that, I could simply call you up and tell you what the trouble with your telephone is!
Claudine: Well... Whatever the trouble is, I hope you locate it.
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Madame, it is my business to locate trouble...
[He misses the door to the study, crashing headlong into the wall; being Clouseau, he isn't even fazed]
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: ...Er, no trouble back there!
Mac: ...I don't think there's any trouble with the telephones here.
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: I know when there is a trouble, and when there is not a trouble, and you may rest assured that there is a trouble.
Mac: Since when?
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Since it was reported.
Mac: By whom? And what sort of trouble is it?
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: If I knew that, I could simply call you up and tell you what the trouble with your telephone is!
Claudine: Well... Whatever the trouble is, I hope you locate it.
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Madame, it is my business to locate trouble...
[He misses the door to the study, crashing headlong into the wall; being Clouseau, he isn't even fazed]
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: ...Er, no trouble back there!
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: [in Dreyfus' office, after Clouseau's apartment has been bombed] I tell you, infamous powers are at work! The instant you assign me to a case, the Underworld hears about it and I am set upon! It is amazing that I am still alive!
Dreyfus: [forcing himself not to giggle] "Amazing" is the polite term.
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Do I detect something in your voice that says I am in disfavor with you?
Dreyfus: YES! I wish you were DEAD!
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Well, of course, you are entitled to your opinion.
Dreyfus: [forcing himself not to giggle] "Amazing" is the polite term.
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Do I detect something in your voice that says I am in disfavor with you?
Dreyfus: YES! I wish you were DEAD!
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Well, of course, you are entitled to your opinion.
Clouseau: [answering the phone] This is Monsieur Gadoire - who is this speaking?
Dreyfus: Don't you know? HmmHmmm! Can't you guess? I'll give you a clue - this is the man who hates you. This is the man who more than anything else in the world would like to see you dead and buried!
Clouseau: ...are you the headwaiter that works in the little bistro on the Rue de Bazaar?
Dreyfus: Don't you know? HmmHmmm! Can't you guess? I'll give you a clue - this is the man who hates you. This is the man who more than anything else in the world would like to see you dead and buried!
Clouseau: ...are you the headwaiter that works in the little bistro on the Rue de Bazaar?
