The Three Stooges Quotes
While trying to save their childhood orphanage, Moe, Larry and Curly inadvertently stumble into a murder plot and wind up starring in a reality television show.
Larry: Hey, quit horsing around you two. You're disturbing my coffee break.
Curly: Oh, boy donuts! Where's mine?
Moe: They're small. Why don't you have two?
Curly: Okay.
[Moe sticks donuts in Curly's ears]
Curly: Oh, now look what you did, Moe! You got donut stuck in my ears!
Larry: Hey, look, you're in luck. They got a donut remover right here.
Moe: What's a donut remover?
Larry: It's one of these.
[reads the sign on the bell]
Larry: "Do-nut remove-uh."
Curly: Oh, boy donuts! Where's mine?
Moe: They're small. Why don't you have two?
Curly: Okay.
[Moe sticks donuts in Curly's ears]
Curly: Oh, now look what you did, Moe! You got donut stuck in my ears!
Larry: Hey, look, you're in luck. They got a donut remover right here.
Moe: What's a donut remover?
Larry: It's one of these.
[reads the sign on the bell]
Larry: "Do-nut remove-uh."
Lydia: My husband is suffering from an incurable disease that eventually will kill him.
Mac: Unfortunately, it could take a year, possibly more. The pain increasing daily till I lapse into an irreversible coma.
Curly: I had that. Only it was just in my feet. Yeah. It's called coma toes.
[Curly and Larry laugh]
Moe: [mock laughing] Oh, coma toes, huh?
Curly: Yeah.
[Moe stomps on Curly's foot]
Moe: Are they awake now?
Mac: Unfortunately, it could take a year, possibly more. The pain increasing daily till I lapse into an irreversible coma.
Curly: I had that. Only it was just in my feet. Yeah. It's called coma toes.
[Curly and Larry laugh]
Moe: [mock laughing] Oh, coma toes, huh?
Curly: Yeah.
[Moe stomps on Curly's foot]
Moe: Are they awake now?
Larry: $830,000. First taker gets a three-man working machine. It's all spelled out in this here contract, folks.
Moe: That's right. No job is too small. We'll press your pants, we'll shine your shoes.
Curly: We'll raid your fridge and drink your booze. Nyuk nyuk.
[Moe slaps Curly]
Moe: What's the matter with you? Quit givin' away the fine print.
Moe: That's right. No job is too small. We'll press your pants, we'll shine your shoes.
Curly: We'll raid your fridge and drink your booze. Nyuk nyuk.
[Moe slaps Curly]
Moe: What's the matter with you? Quit givin' away the fine print.
Larry: Hey. Who's this lady?
Ling: That's Teddo's wife, Lydia.
Larry: Teddy's wife?
Ling: Yep. Oh, she's one lucky girl.
Larry: Then who's the guy on the end?
Ling: Oh, that's Teddo's best friend, Mac.
Curly: Well, then who's Mr. Fancy-Pants in the top hot and scarf?
Ling: That's a snowman.
Larry: Yeah, but what's his name?
Ling: That's Teddo's wife, Lydia.
Larry: Teddy's wife?
Ling: Yep. Oh, she's one lucky girl.
Larry: Then who's the guy on the end?
Ling: Oh, that's Teddo's best friend, Mac.
Curly: Well, then who's Mr. Fancy-Pants in the top hot and scarf?
Ling: That's a snowman.
Larry: Yeah, but what's his name?
Ronnie: What are you, crazy? That's assault!
Moe: Heres your pepper. Shut up.
[Moe slaps him]
The Situation: My man!
Ronnie: Who asked ya, muscle-head?
[Moe pokes him in the head]
JWoww: Moe! You can't just go around hitting people.
Moe: No? Well, can I do this?
[Moe plucks out her nose hair]
Moe: Hmm, rare bouquet.
Moe: Heres your pepper. Shut up.
[Moe slaps him]
The Situation: My man!
Ronnie: Who asked ya, muscle-head?
[Moe pokes him in the head]
JWoww: Moe! You can't just go around hitting people.
Moe: No? Well, can I do this?
[Moe plucks out her nose hair]
Moe: Hmm, rare bouquet.
Curly: Hey, Moe! Hey, Larry! Fellas, do something!
Larry: [nervously] Moe, Moe!
Moe: What's the matter with y...
[gasps]
Curly: Call 411
[whimpers]
Moe: [to Larry] Quick, help me grab sister M and M before chowderhead crushes her!
[bonks to a water retainer, Curly falls on top of her, Mary-Mengele groans]
Moe: [to Curly] You, help out.
[to Larry]
Moe: You, grab that bucket, splash some water on her.
[metal from the bell hits Mary-Mengele thru the bucket]
Larry: See? I told you there's too much iron in the water.
Moe: Speak to me, sis. Say a few parables!
Sister Mary-Mengele: [dizzy and hallucinating] I saved 15% on my car insurance.
Larry: She seems fine to me.
Moe: Come on, let's go see what Mother Superior wants.
[Sister Mary-Mengele's head hits the water retainer]
Moe: [groans]
Larry: [nervously] Moe, Moe!
Moe: What's the matter with y...
[gasps]
Curly: Call 411
[whimpers]
Moe: [to Larry] Quick, help me grab sister M and M before chowderhead crushes her!
[bonks to a water retainer, Curly falls on top of her, Mary-Mengele groans]
Moe: [to Curly] You, help out.
[to Larry]
Moe: You, grab that bucket, splash some water on her.
[metal from the bell hits Mary-Mengele thru the bucket]
Larry: See? I told you there's too much iron in the water.
Moe: Speak to me, sis. Say a few parables!
Sister Mary-Mengele: [dizzy and hallucinating] I saved 15% on my car insurance.
Larry: She seems fine to me.
Moe: Come on, let's go see what Mother Superior wants.
[Sister Mary-Mengele's head hits the water retainer]
Moe: [groans]
Moe: What are you grubworms doing?
Curly: Getting seconds on lobster.
Moe: Seconds? I thought lobster upset your stomach.
Curly: I dipped it in pesto-bismol.
Moe: Oh, you like dipping, eh?
Curly: Yeah.
Moe: Come here.
[Moe dips Curly's head into the water, he pulls him out with a lobster attached to his face]
Larry: Hey, look, it's Santy Claws. Claws!
Moe: What did I tell you about puns?
[Moe stuffs the lobster down Larry's pants]
Curly: Getting seconds on lobster.
Moe: Seconds? I thought lobster upset your stomach.
Curly: I dipped it in pesto-bismol.
Moe: Oh, you like dipping, eh?
Curly: Yeah.
Moe: Come here.
[Moe dips Curly's head into the water, he pulls him out with a lobster attached to his face]
Larry: Hey, look, it's Santy Claws. Claws!
Moe: What did I tell you about puns?
[Moe stuffs the lobster down Larry's pants]
