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Two weeks shy of his wedding, a socially awkward guy enters into a charade by hiring the owner of a company that provides best men for grooms in need.
Edmundo: You put the weed in the coconut, and light that shit up.
[last lines] Lurch: I've got a bad feeling about this plane.
[from trailer] Jimmy: Meet your groomsmen! [Doug looks at a bunch of strangers] Doug Harris: These guys can not be my groomsmen. It looks like the entire cast of Goonies grew up and became rapists!
[from trailer] Jimmy: I'm assuming you made up a name for me? Doug Harris: Bic Mitchum. Jimmy: Do I wear a cape? "Hello, ladies, what's going on? My name is Bic." "I'm Bic Mitchum and I love candy!" "Bic Mitchum can have whatever he wants!"... I like it. [later on] Paige: Don't you think it's a little strange that your best man's name is... Bic Mitchum?
[from trailer] Doug Harris: I want my real life to be as fun as the one I made up!
[from trailer] Doug Harris: What exactly do you do? Jimmy: I provide best man services for guys who lack in such areas. Doug Harris: So, I'm not alone? Jimmy: Alone? No! I run a very profitable business because of guys like you! How many weddings were in the US last year? Doug Harris: 2.4 million! Jimmy: That means 2.4 million grooms! You think each and everyone of them has someone as their best man?
[from trailer] Jimmy: You can hide a fat ass in baggy pants, but you cannot hide a bad dancer! Doug Harris: You ask how a girl like Gretchen could fall for me? I took her dancing! [a dance off ensues]
Jimmy: It doesn't mean that we're not going to have a good time, Doug. Doug Harris: I said I got it. You're anybody's friend for a price, but nobody's when it counts.
[from trailer] Jimmy: God created the world in seven days. We gotta do a whole lot more in a lot less time!
Jimmy: This is what you have to understand, Doug. Some people are just loners. It's that simple, man. Doug Harris: Maybe I don't want to be. Maybe I just want someone to grab a beer with, to go on a cool guy trip with. Jimmy: You've never been on a guy trip, Doug? Cabo, Cancun, spring break? You've never done anything like that? Doug Harris: I never really had anyone to go with.