The World's Fastest Indian Quotes
The life story of New Zealander Burt Munro, who spent years building a 1920 Indian motorcycle -- a bike which helped him set the land-speed world record at Utah's Bonneville Salt Flats in 1967.
Burt Munro: Oh yes, ah, you can pee on my lemon tree for me if you like, while I'm away. And ah...
[looks at Tom who is shaking his head vigorously]
Burt Munro: well, there's nothing wrong with peeing on your lemon tree. As Confucius used to say, it's the best natural fertilizer in the world.
Tom: Who's Confucius?
Burt Munro: Oh, he's some bloke who lives up in Dunedin.
[looks at Tom who is shaking his head vigorously]
Burt Munro: well, there's nothing wrong with peeing on your lemon tree. As Confucius used to say, it's the best natural fertilizer in the world.
Tom: Who's Confucius?
Burt Munro: Oh, he's some bloke who lives up in Dunedin.
Burt Munro, Rusty: [reading together from a series of roadside advert billboards] Your shaving brush... Has its day... It won't achieve... The modern way... BURMA SHAVE!
Burt Munro, Rusty: She doesn't kiss ya... Like she used to... Has she seen... Some smoother rooster... BURMA SHAVE!
Burt Munro, Rusty: These signs... We dedicate... To men... Who have... No date of late... BURMA SHAVE!
Burt Munro: Yeah, that's us. Well, you anyway.
[both laugh]
Burt Munro, Rusty: She doesn't kiss ya... Like she used to... Has she seen... Some smoother rooster... BURMA SHAVE!
Burt Munro, Rusty: These signs... We dedicate... To men... Who have... No date of late... BURMA SHAVE!
Burt Munro: Yeah, that's us. Well, you anyway.
[both laugh]
Cabbie: [impatiently, in folksy Hispanic accent] And the fare is right there on the meter, 29 dollar. Open your wallet and let the moths out.
Burt Munro: I'm doing it, I'm doing it. There you go, 29 dollars.
Cabbie: No, don't forget the tip.
Burt Munro: What?
Cabbie: [sarcastically] Yes, we tip in America. 10 percent.
Burt Munro: How much?
Cabbie: [with more emphasis] 10 percent.
Burt Munro: Oh yeah, there you go, 10 cents.
[hands over a coin and exits cab]
Burt Munro: I'm doing it, I'm doing it. There you go, 29 dollars.
Cabbie: No, don't forget the tip.
Burt Munro: What?
Cabbie: [sarcastically] Yes, we tip in America. 10 percent.
Burt Munro: How much?
Cabbie: [with more emphasis] 10 percent.
Burt Munro: Oh yeah, there you go, 10 cents.
[hands over a coin and exits cab]
Tina: Okay, my good friend from Kiwi land. You stay in touch, won't you?
Burt Munro: I will.
Tina: Here's my phone number. Call me and tell me how you're doing.
Burt Munro: I will.
[cheekily]
Burt Munro: Can I call collect?
Tina: [smiles] You can try.
Burt Munro: It's a good job I think you're a woman.
Tina: I *am* a woman.
Burt Munro: I will.
Tina: Here's my phone number. Call me and tell me how you're doing.
Burt Munro: I will.
[cheekily]
Burt Munro: Can I call collect?
Tina: [smiles] You can try.
Burt Munro: It's a good job I think you're a woman.
Tina: I *am* a woman.
Rusty: But we should have this war done in about 6 months or so, that's what they keep telling us. Can't wait to get my ass out of there, to tell you the truth.
Burt Munro: Yeah, I remember the Great War in 1914. I was about your age. And that's what they kept telling everyone: "Soon be over." 20 million dead and 4 years later, it was still going on.
Burt Munro: Yeah, I remember the Great War in 1914. I was about your age. And that's what they kept telling everyone: "Soon be over." 20 million dead and 4 years later, it was still going on.
Jim Moffett: I told you, if it's a time problem, the old guy's welcome to use some of my time.
Mike: It's not a time problem, it's a bike problem.
Jim Moffett: Well, I think we ought to let him run. He came all the way from New Zealand to do this.
Mike: Jim, have you had a good look at his machine?
Jim Moffett: All I know is the man's the genuine article.
Mike: Yeah, but the bike is the genuine dinosaur.
Jim Moffett: Look, we carry the cans for the decisions around here...
Mike: And if he kills himself, and there's about a 100-to-1 that he will, we're gonna have a hell of a lot of trouble on our hands.
Jim Moffett: Yeah, sounds like we're a bunch of chickenshits, if you want my opinion.
Mike: It's not a time problem, it's a bike problem.
Jim Moffett: Well, I think we ought to let him run. He came all the way from New Zealand to do this.
Mike: Jim, have you had a good look at his machine?
Jim Moffett: All I know is the man's the genuine article.
Mike: Yeah, but the bike is the genuine dinosaur.
Jim Moffett: Look, we carry the cans for the decisions around here...
Mike: And if he kills himself, and there's about a 100-to-1 that he will, we're gonna have a hell of a lot of trouble on our hands.
Jim Moffett: Yeah, sounds like we're a bunch of chickenshits, if you want my opinion.
Leroy the Cowboy: [pointing to antelope trophy head] You got any of those critters over there?
Burt Munro: Oh yes, much bigger though. Well, we breed them down there on big farms, and cut off their antlers and send them over to Hong Kong. And they grind the antlers into dust, and they eat that stuff. Must be some sort of aphrodisiac or something. Puts lead in your pencil.
Rhonda: You could do with some of that eh, Leroy?
Burt Munro: Your girlfriend?
Leroy the Cowboy: Wife.
Burt Munro: Oh. Oh dear...
Burt Munro: Oh yes, much bigger though. Well, we breed them down there on big farms, and cut off their antlers and send them over to Hong Kong. And they grind the antlers into dust, and they eat that stuff. Must be some sort of aphrodisiac or something. Puts lead in your pencil.
Rhonda: You could do with some of that eh, Leroy?
Burt Munro: Your girlfriend?
Leroy the Cowboy: Wife.
Burt Munro: Oh. Oh dear...
Burt Munro: So what are you doing in Vietnam?
Rusty: Umm, I'm involved in Operation Ranch Hand.
Burt Munro: What's that? Farming or something?
Rusty: Ah no, not exactly. We ah... we just started this program... we are spraying the jungle from the air with herbicides, so the enemy the Vietcong don't have any place to hide. Right... Agent Orange, we call this stuff.
Rusty: Umm, I'm involved in Operation Ranch Hand.
Burt Munro: What's that? Farming or something?
Rusty: Ah no, not exactly. We ah... we just started this program... we are spraying the jungle from the air with herbicides, so the enemy the Vietcong don't have any place to hide. Right... Agent Orange, we call this stuff.
[after buying his used car, Burt says he needs some wheels to build a trailer for the motorcycle]
Fernando: Well, I got a couple wheels in the shop I could let you have, but first you got to do me a favor.
Burt Munro: Oh, well just say the word.
[cut to Burt fixing the engine of one of Fernando's cars]
Burt Munro: Okay, give it a try, Fernando.
[Fernando turns the ignition, and it turns over]
Fernando: Burt, you're a goddamn genius! Hey listen, why you gotta go? Why don't you stay here and work for me? I'll pay you well.
Burt Munro: Oh, no thanks, mate. Me and the motorcycle have got to pick up and be in Bonneville by the 18th.
Fernando: Well, you always got a job here. Good luck.
Fernando: Well, I got a couple wheels in the shop I could let you have, but first you got to do me a favor.
Burt Munro: Oh, well just say the word.
[cut to Burt fixing the engine of one of Fernando's cars]
Burt Munro: Okay, give it a try, Fernando.
[Fernando turns the ignition, and it turns over]
Fernando: Burt, you're a goddamn genius! Hey listen, why you gotta go? Why don't you stay here and work for me? I'll pay you well.
Burt Munro: Oh, no thanks, mate. Me and the motorcycle have got to pick up and be in Bonneville by the 18th.
Fernando: Well, you always got a job here. Good luck.
