Tucker and Dale vs. Evil Quotes
Tucker & Dale are on vacation at their dilapidated mountain cabin when they are attacked by a group of preppy college kids.
Allison: Wait, wait! Everyone just stop for a second and let's talk this out, okay? Nobody wants to hurt anyone.
Tucker: [as he favors the hand with the fingers that Chad cut off] You could've fooled me!
Chad: Fuck off, hillbilly!
Tucker: Eat shit, body perm!
Allison: Wait! Wait! How 'bout I make some tea and we all sit and talk this out.
Tucker: S-s-sounds like a good idea. I'll provide the finger sandwiches!
Tucker: [as he favors the hand with the fingers that Chad cut off] You could've fooled me!
Chad: Fuck off, hillbilly!
Tucker: Eat shit, body perm!
Allison: Wait! Wait! How 'bout I make some tea and we all sit and talk this out.
Tucker: S-s-sounds like a good idea. I'll provide the finger sandwiches!
Sheriff: [Talking to Tucker and Dale, after he's pulled them over] Where are you two headed?
Tucker: We're headed to our vacation home up by Morris Lake. I sank every penny I had into it... me and Dale here, we're gonna' go fix her up, then do a little fishin'. He's been strikin' out by the ladies, I figure a little *man* time might do him some good.
Sheriff: [Gives them a hard look] There ain't nothin' up there but pain and suffering on a scale you can't even imagine.
Tucker: We're headed to our vacation home up by Morris Lake. I sank every penny I had into it... me and Dale here, we're gonna' go fix her up, then do a little fishin'. He's been strikin' out by the ladies, I figure a little *man* time might do him some good.
Sheriff: [Gives them a hard look] There ain't nothin' up there but pain and suffering on a scale you can't even imagine.
Tucker: [Dale is attracted to one of the college co-eds at the gas station, but hesitates to try to go talk to her] She's just human. Why don't you go over and talk to her?
Dale: Talk to her? What... What in the world would I say?
Tucker: I don't know... Tell her that you got a vacation home. That'll probably impress her.
Dale: Are you out of your mind, Tucker? They're college girls, and they grew up with vacation homes and guys like me fixing their toilets!
Tucker: You've gotta' have some faith in yourself, man. Girls can *smell* fear. Now, come on! You are a good lookin' man... more or less. You got a damned good heart. I mean, that's two things right there. Now go on, get over there! What... what's the worst that could happen?
Dale: Talk to her? What... What in the world would I say?
Tucker: I don't know... Tell her that you got a vacation home. That'll probably impress her.
Dale: Are you out of your mind, Tucker? They're college girls, and they grew up with vacation homes and guys like me fixing their toilets!
Tucker: You've gotta' have some faith in yourself, man. Girls can *smell* fear. Now, come on! You are a good lookin' man... more or less. You got a damned good heart. I mean, that's two things right there. Now go on, get over there! What... what's the worst that could happen?
