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A former S.E.A.L., now cook, is the only person who can stop a gang of terrorists when they seize control of a U.S. Navy battleship.
[after a bomb explodes in the galley's microwave] Commander Krill: What the hell was that? William Strannix: That was a bomb, jackass! He used the microwave as a detonator! [to nearest man] William Strannix: Come here! You secure everything between here and the CIC. You spot anything, you radio at once for backup. You don't get creative, you call for help. You understand? Move! [man leaves] William Strannix: PUT THESE FIRES OUT! [to Krill] William Strannix: I would like to see the ship's personnel file on this "plain and simple cook", Mr. Krill! Commander Krill: Yes, sir. William Strannix: PUT OUT THESE GODDAMN *FIRES*!
Jordan Tate: So who are you? Are you, you, like, some special forces guy or something? Casey Ryback: Nah. I'm just a cook. Jordan Tate: A cook? Casey Ryback: [Whispering] Just a lowly, lowly cook. Jordan Tate: Oh, my God, we're gonna die.
Admiral Bates: Now, since your ass is on the line, sailor, I authorize you right now, to do whatever you can to aid in the arrival of the SEAL Team. Because if I goddamn can't control you, I might as well support you. Correct? Casey Ryback: That's affirmative, Sir!
[Tate runs after Ryback during a gunfight] Jordan Tate: The safest place on this ship is right behind you.
Casey Ryback: What made you flip like this? William Strannix: I got tired of coming up with last-minute desperate solutions to impossible problems created by other fucking people. Casey Ryback: All of your ridiculous pitiful antics aren't gonna change a thing. You and me, we're *puppets* in the same sick game. We serve the same master, and he's a lunatic and he's ungrateful. But there's nothing we can do about it. You and me, we're the same. William Strannix: Oh, no. No. No. No. There's a difference, my man. You have faith. I don't! [a knife fight erupts between them]
Tom Breaker: Just last year we found out North Korea was refitting an old French sub to fire anti-ship missile, so we sent Mr. Stranix in. Admiral Bates: You've been financing this goddamn maniac's private army, and it didn't occur to you it might become a problem? Tom Breaker: Once we realized we had lost positive control, under Executive Order 136 we tried to neutralize him... we missed. David Trenton, National Security Advisor: Excuse me, um, this North Korean sub... how do you know he sunk it? Tom Breaker: [in trembling voice] Oh, we're positive he sunk it. Positive. [Trenton smiles mockingly, because Breaker's trembling voice makes it clear that he is NOT positive at all]
[Luigi says something in Italian] Commander Krill: What'd he say? Submariner: He said he can't fix it. Commander Krill: [annoyed] *I'll* fix it! Go, now! [to Luigi] Commander Krill: Why can't you speak English? Luigi: [long stream of Italian, then... ] Fuck you!
Casey Ryback: What kind of babbling bullshit is this?
Casey Ryback: Krill's a maniac! Go tell the captain he spit in my soup! Pvt. Nash: Ryback, you've got a fire in here! Casey Ryback: Get my pies out of the oven!
Doctor: Ok you're gonna need about three or four stitches, so i wanna see you down in the infirmary... Casey Ryback: Yeah I'm afraid of needles ya know
William Strannix: You're a maniac. Drowning your own crew. Commander Krill: They never liked me anyway. Doumer: I bet they fuckin' love ya now, huh?
Admiral Bates: Mr. Stranix... this is Admiral Bates speaking. Would you please tell us why the hell you're doing this? William Strannix: Hi, Admiral. Six months ago, your boy Tom Breaker cancelled operation 'Cleopatra', and shortly thereafter two young men from Langley showed up in Miami tried to cancel me along with it. Now you *did* receive each man's right forefinger in the mail, didn't you Tom? William Strannix: [pause] TOM! Tom Breaker: Yes, I did. William Strannix: [incredulous] Did you expect us to wait in Miami for you to try again?
[watching the camera feed from the Harpoon missile, which suddenly goes blank] William Strannix: Bang, you're dead.
David Trenton, National Security Advisor: But what would be the consequences of those missiles dropping on Honololu? Admiral Bates: Colonel Sarnac? Air Force Colonel: Approximately one million people will reach ten thousand degrees Farenheit in less than a second.
Tweety Bird: Any sign of Wile E. Coyote? William Strannix: No. Meet at the bird cage as planned, Roadrunner, out! Krill: You're the roadrunner? William Strannix: Yeah, never been caught. Mee-meep.
Jordan Tate: [answers the satellite phone] Hello? Admiral Bates: Who in the hell in this? Jordan Tate: Who in the hell is *this*? Admiral Bates: This is Admiral Bates speaking. I am trying to get a hold of Chief Ryback. Is he about? Jordan Tate: He's in a gunfight right now. I'm gonna have to take a message. David Trenton, National Security Advisor: ...What the hell's going on there?
[after receiving a call from Nash in the galley] William Strannix: Anything else you forgot to tell us about? Any other little memory losses or oversights, perhaps? Commander Krill: No other little memory losses or oversights perhaps. There's two men, one of them's locked up. And I'll take care of him... William Strannix: No, no, no. We'll handle it. Secure the galley. Send Cates, send Ziggs. Shadow: You got it. Commander Krill: This Marine's armed, Bill. I think we should send more, I'll go... William Strannix: Don't worry about it. These guys are professionals. They can handle twenty Marines, and a hundred cooks.
[Krill found Ryback's personnel file] Commander Krill: Ryback's file wasn't IN personnel. It was in the Captain's private cabinet. Ryback is an ex-SEAL. Doumer: The Goddamn cook's a SEAL! Commander Krill: Shut up and listen. "Expert in Martial Arts, Explosives, Weapons and Tactics. Silver Star, Navy Cross, Purple Heart with Cluster. Security Clearance revoked after Panama." That means he couldn't hold any rating except that of a yeoman or a cook. How little did I know. Shadow: We just lost two more men in the Engine Room!
Commander Krill: Where are you going? William Strannix: Make Honolulu glow in the dark. Commander Krill: Outstanding.
Casey Ryback: You're comin' with me, you gotta be invisible. You walk by a hatch and you see the enemy, you become the hatch.
[Krill reads his personal file, while he is still dressed as a drag queen] Commander Krill: [furiously] Listen to the *shit* I've had to put up with! "In the past few weeks, Commander Krill has become increasingly hostile to the crew. Possible due to anger over my last reviews of his performance. I recommend he be given a psychological evaluation before taking over his next ASSIGNMENT!" Commander Krill: [to Strannix] Do I *look* like I need a psychological evaluation? William Strannix: [barely suppressing his laughter] Not at all.
Casey Ryback: [Krill has informed Ryback that all the men in the Forecastle are about to drown] We've got to save them. Granger: You know they're gonna have a trap for us. Casey Ryback: Yeah, but they're expecting *me*, not all of us. Tackman: All of what? I do laundry. I was ironing during the Gulf War. I ain't cut out for this hero bullshit. Casey Ryback: You're in the Navy, remember? It's not a job, it's an adventure!
[Tate and Ryback are hurrying down a corridor when they hear pounding on a door] Casey Ryback: It's morse code. Jordan Tate: What are they saying? Casey Ryback: They're saying "Get me the fuck out of here".
[after getting off the phone with Krill] Pvt. Nash: You're WRONG Ryback! You're WRONG! Those were *party poppers*! Casey Ryback: You got shit for brains, Private! I know they brainwashed you at boot camp, but sometimes you gotta QUESTION authority! Trust me, boy. That's GUNFIRE! You get me out of here, I'll go take care of it. Pvt. Nash: I'm gonna be relieved in a couple of minutes. So just shut up and sit tight! Casey Ryback: Some thing's going on! Use your head this time, boy. Do what you got to do and get me out of here. [pause] Casey Ryback: When I get out, I'll shoot you myself!
[sees the bodies of the two commandos that Ryback has killed] William Strannix: The man that did this is a professional. Who is he, and what's he doing running around on my battleship, Mr. Krill? Commander Krill: Your battleship? You wouldn't be on this battleship if it wasn't for me. He's a cook, plain and simple... William Strannix: This is not the work of a cook. Commander Krill: He came on board with the captain. I know his routine, front and back. He's good with cooking knives... [Strannix rips the throwing knife out of Cates's jugular and holds it up to Krill's face] William Strannix: *Cooking knives*? Commander Krill: He got lucky. In my professional opinion, he is a military *reject* in command of a GALLEY! [They hear beeping, and Strannix glances toward the microwave] Doumer: GET DOWN! [Everyone ducks as the microwave explodes]
[Commander Krill spits in Ryback's soup] Commander Krill: A little flavor. Commander Krill: [taunts Ryback] You like that? Casey Ryback: [shoves Krill] You're crazy... Ensign Taylor: HEY! That's *striking an Officer*! Commander Krill: Whoa, whoa. Casey Ryback: COME ON! That's not striking an Officer... [knocks Krill to the ground hard] Casey Ryback: THAT'S striking an Officer! [Ryback fights off the Marine guards successfully, then gives up and is restrained] Ensign Taylor: THROW HIM IN THE BRIG! Casey Ryback: [as he is being handcuffed] NOBODY goes to the brig without the Old Man's signature! Commander Krill: Good point. Secure him in the meat locker. NOW! Right now. [as Ryback is being led in] Commander Krill: Now I know why you're a cook. You hit like a FAGGOT!
[Jordan protests having to carry the equipment] Casey Ryback: I'll tell you what. I'll carry everything, if you kill whoever we run into, all right? Jordan Tate: I have a little rule about killing people. Actually, I have two rules. See, One, I don't date musicians, and Two, *I do NOT kill people*! Okay? Casey Ryback: I'm thrilled to death to hear that, yeah. But it leaves a lot of open territory.
[Casey and Jordan hear the SEAL team's chopper approaching] Casey Ryback: Here come the good guys.
Doumer: You're incredible, Ryback. It's a shame you're not cooking for *us*. [Jordan shoots Doumer in the back] Casey Ryback: [to Jordan] Next thing I know, you'll be dating musicians.
Commander Krill: Private Nash, you came on board in Hawaii? Pvt. Nash: Yes, sir! Commander Krill: Then you don't know about Chief Ryback. He is an extreme psychopath. He hates officers. He hates America. This is the Captain's birthday. I do not want him ruining it. No one is to speak to him. No one is to let him out. If he tries to escape, shoot him right *here*! [taps Nash directly between the eyes] Commander Krill: I'm counting on you. Pvt. Nash: Yes, sir! Commander Krill: [to everyone else] Let's go.
Ensign Taylor: Petty Officer Ryback. Casey Ryback: Ensign Taylor. Ensign Taylor: SIR! Casey Ryback: You don't have to "sir" me, Ensign Taylor. We're casual in the galley, you know. Ensign Taylor: I'd watch it, Ryback. We still have a week together. Casey Ryback: I guess that means I won't get to see you go through puberty.
Capt. Adams: Chief, get in your dress uniform. Casey Ryback: Sir, you know how I feel about ceremonies. I thought maybe this time, uh... Capt. Adams: You know, if I had your ribbons, I'd wear 'em to bed.
William Strannix: All of my life... Saturday morning cartoons. The best.
Admiral Bates: [Over the intercom] Chief Ryback Casey Ryback: Sir? Admiral Bates: I see you completely disobeyed my orders Casey Ryback: I'm sorry sir, you can court martial me if I live sir
William Strannix: ["on stage"] Now, you, sir, you are the highest-ranking officer in this room. Cmdr. Green: That's right. The operations officer. Third in command. William Strannix: It's a pleasure to meet you, Commander Green. [He takes out a gun and shoots Commander Green in the forehead]
Pitt: Shit! I lost the Phalanx, the whole thing's dead, we're sitting ducks!
Taylor: Johnson, how is the Captain gonna authorize a surprise birthday party for himself?
William Strannix: [after successfully taking the Missouri] Four minutes ahead of schedule. Damn, I'm good.
Jordan Tate: I told you I don't like guns. Casey Ryback: I know. Neither do I.
[Strannix is very impressed with Ryback's abilities] William Strannix: Doumer, Doumer, Doumer. Why didn't you hire this person? I don't know what his price would have been, but it would have been WORTH it.
Capt. Adams: [after hearing some enemy gunfire at what was supposedly his birthday party, after the terrorists have revealed themselves] What the hell's going on? Commander Krill: The party's just beginning. [He reveals a gun and shoots the Captain]
[looking at the Tomahawks] William Strannix: These things are gonna sell like hotcakes! Commander Krill: Absolutely. William Strannix: What are you gonna do when you get two hundred million dollars in the bank? Commander Krill: Buy the presidency!
[Jordan refuses to hide in the closet despite the risks] Jordan Tate: I hate being alone. Casey Ryback: Do you hate being dead?
William Strannix: Daffy... Porky Pig... Little red fucker with the mustache...
Jordan Tate: You're not a cook. Casey Ryback: Yeah, well... I also cook.
[Strannix goes to the firing triggers for the Tomahawks] William Strannix: This little piggy went to market... [flips the first trigger] William Strannix: This little piggy stayed home... [flips the second] William Strannix: And this little piggy... oh, mama... oh, mama... went wee, wee, wee, WEEEEEEEEE...! [flips the last] William Strannix: ALL THE WAY HOME! [He air-guitars "The Star-Spangled Banner" as the missile takes off]
Tom Breaker: Look, Bill, if this is about reliving the 60's, you can forget about it, buddy. The movement is dead. William Strannix: Yes, of course! Hence the name: movement. It moves a certain distance, then it stops, you see? A revolution gets its name by always coming back around in your face. You tried to kill me you son of a bitch... so welcome to the revolution.
Casey Ryback: Keep the faith, Strannix.
William Strannix: Let this be a learning experience, gentleman. If you resist we will kill you and the man next to you. Now move out of here in an orderly fashion. [pauses] William Strannix: Now!
Casey Ryback: Calaway, Gunner's Mate. Calaway: Yeah, Chief? Casey Ryback: You see those? [pointing to the 16" guns] Casey Ryback: We still got shells for those.
Casey Ryback: Another cold day in Hell.
William Strannix: [on the phone] Listen, Francois, put the money in the bank in Zurich by midnight or nothing's gonna happen. [He holds the phone away from his ear as Francois curses explosively] William Strannix: [aside to Doumer] Call Chicago, sell everything we got in MacGregor Aircraft, that stock is gonna go to shit when they find out what's going on out here. Pitt: Two choppers, think they can sneak in under our radar. William Strannix: Strike team. [into phone] William Strannix: 'Course we drive a hard bargain, Francois, you're gonna get a hard value... listen, mon ami, you give me any more trouble, I'm calling Mohammed! You understand? Pitt: Strike team is in range and locked on. William Strannix: Kill 'em. [Francois starts to protest] William Strannix: No, no, Francois, not you, not you. Now listen, I'm gonna put my accountant on the line, you understand, I'm gonna give you the account numbers, okay? [hands the phone to Doumer] William Strannix: Here, talk to that frog.
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