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A self-indulgent and vain publishing magnate finds his privileged life upended after a vehicular accident with a resentful lover.
Sofía: Every passing minute is another chance to turn it all around.
Brian: Just remember, the sweet is never as sweet without the sour, and I know the sour.
[last lines to Sofia] David: Do you remember what you told me once? That every passing minute is a another chance to turn it all around. Sofía: I'll find you again. David: I'll see you in another life... when we are both cats.
Brian: You can do whatever you want with your life, but one day you'll know what love truly is. It's the sour and the sweet. And I know sour, which allows me to appreciate the sweet.
David: My dreams are a cruel joke. They taunt me. Even in my dreams I'm an idiot... who knows he's about to wake up to reality. If I could only avoid sleep. But I can't. I try to tell myself what to dream. I try to dream that I am flying. Something free. It never works...
David: The little things... there's nothing bigger, is there?
David: My father wrote about this in his book. Chapter 1... Page 1... Paragraph 1: What is the answer to 99 out of 100 questions?... Money.
Julie: [Desperately] You fucked me four times the other night, David! You've been inside me! David: [Not taking her seriously yet] Julie... Julie: I swallowed your cum! That means something!
Sofía: I'll tell you in another life, when we are both cats.
Julie: Don't you know that when you sleep with someone, your body makes a promise whether you do or not.
Dr. Curtis McCabe: And you didn't immediately wanna sleep with her? David: Well, you know, I'm a pleasure delayer.
Sofía: I think she's the saddest girl to ever hold a martini.
David: I want to live a real life... I don't want to dream any longer.
Various: Open your eyes.
Edmund: You were missed, David. It was Sofia who never fully recovered. It was she who some how knew you best... and like you, she never forgot that one night where true love seemed possible.
Edmund: There are no guarantees, but remember: Even in the future, the sweet is never as sweet without the sour.
Brian: You will never know the exquisite pain of the guy, who goes home alone.
David: You're a shrink! You gotta be better than that! Dr. Curtis McCabe: Let's not stereotype each other. Not all rich kids are soulless, and not all psychologists care about disease.
David: Look at us. I'm frozen and you're dead, and I love you. Sofía: It's a problem. David: I lost you when I got in that car. I'm sorry.
Dr. Curtis McCabe: I'm real. I'm... I'm... mortality as home entertainment? THIS CANNOT BE THE FUTURE. Can it? CAN IT?
[first lines] Sofía: [in Spanish] Open your eyes. Sofía: [in English] Open your eyes. Open your eyes. Open your eyes. Open your eyes. Open you... [David wakes up and pushes the snooze button on his alarm]
[Sofía is taking David's mask off] David: How bad is it? Sofía: ...Well... your ears are in the right place... And the rest of it... is not bad at all. It's perfect!
David: We almost died. Brian: I know. My own death was right there in front of me and you know what happened? Your life flashed before my eyes. David: How was it? Brian: Almost worth dying for...
Dr. Curtis McCabe: You do understand that our time is limited, don't you? David: If I talk... you'll just think I'm crazy. Dr. Curtis McCabe: With all the possible respect I can offer a man wearing a latex mask and spouting conspiracy theories, David, believe me, you've crossed that bridge.
David: I like your life. Sofía: Well, it's mine and you can't have it!
Sofía: I have to get some sleep. Truthfully, I also work as a dental assistant. David: Boy, am I going to the wrong dentist!
David: I wanna wake up! Tech support! It's a nightmare! Tech support! Tech support!
Thomas Tipp: Do you know they even got a... well, a nickname for you behind your back? Heh? Citizen Dildo.
Thomas Tipp: ...maybe you should let people see you, yeah? I mean, the last time we were together, you were, you were, you were in a coma, and you were very fucking rude to me. You didn't say a word.
Thomas Tipp: But I say this with complete love. Claim your life. Learn to be an asshole. Don't... David: Two's enough. Thomas Tipp: Forgive me. But I still believe in this family, David, even if it's only you.
[David receives his facial prosthetic] Dr. Pomeranz: It's a helpful unit. David: Good. Because for a minute there, I thought we were talking about [shouts] David: a fucking mask! Dr. Pomeranz: It's only a mask... if you treat it that way. David: Oh, no. It's great. This completely takes care of Hallowe'en. But what about the other 364 days of the year?
David: Somebody died. It was me.
Sofía: But I just think good things will happen, if you are a good person with a good attitude, don't you think?
Sofía: What about you? What's your nickname? David: Citizen Dildo. Sofía: Hmm. You are not staying over.
Edmund: Forgive me, I'm blowing your mind.
[last lines] The Future: [voice] Relax, David. Open your eyes.
David: [to Dr. McCabe] What's the answer to 99 out of 100 questions?... Money!
Sofía: Do you love me? I mean really love me. Because if you don't... I'll just have to kill you.
Edmund: It's been a brilliant journey of self-awakening. And now you've simply got to ask yourself this: What is happiness to you, David?
Guy in Bathroom: This is a revolution of the mind.
David: I WANNA WAKE UP!
Rebecca Dearborn: What is any life without the pursuit of a dream?
David: These? These are more than headaches. These are steel plates slicing through my every thought.
David: Where's Sofia? WHERE IS SHE? Julie: I AM SOFIA.
Julie: I mean... David, do you believe in God?
David: [In Julia's car] Let's go to your house and we'll talk or something. I want to see where you live.
Libby: You'll be meeting Rebecca Dearborn, my personal role model.
Dr. Curtis McCabe: Dig deep, David.
David: Is it me?
Brian: [to David] The 'New Guy' is shit! That came out wrong, I love you.
Julie: [Disparagingly to David about Sofia] How did it go with your moth girl? Did she turn into a butterfly for you?
David: And to what do I owe this pleasure? Sofía: The pleasure of Sofia Serrano.
Julie: Don't ever say that word. I will never come over and bring you chicken soup and fuck your brains out again.
David: Technical Support!
Julie: I'm so afraid of how powerful this is!
David: Thomas Tipp was right; people will read again.
David: He never watched television, and yet his biggest magazine is still the TV Digest.
David: I can't believe you just said that. That is what I love about you. Only you would say something like that. [Sofia looks uneasy] David: You'll meet me in another life when we are both cats! Cats! Ha-ha! Meow!
David: [Referring to his board of directors] Who could I trust? The ants are taking over the ant hill. Who could I trust?
Rebecca Dearborn: This is a revolution of the mind.
Sofía: Holy God. This is going to change my life in a zillion different ways. I must be nuts.
David: You weren't invited...
David: Doc, once you've been driven off a bridge at 80 miles an hour, somehow you don't invite happiness in without a full body search.
Thomas Tipp: [Gratefully] I still believe in this family, David. Even if it's only you.
Dr. Curtis McCabe: [McCabe tells Libby about his relationship with David] He's my son. He's very shy.
Julie: Four times... it means something, David.
Julie: Why did you tell Brian I was your "Fuckbuddy"? David: I never said that.
David: No. Tell me now. Sofía: I'll tell you later. David: If something's wrong please tell me now.
Julie: I can tell by the way you're walking that you didn't sleep with her.
Dr. Curtis McCabe: My favorite Beatle was once John. Now it's... Paul.
Brian: [to David] Man, you're in O.J.-land!
David: See, I've got this little problem. I've got a stalker. Sofía: It doesn't sound life threatening. David: But I need a cover. I need for you to pretend we're having a scintillating conversation, and you are wildly entertained. [Both laugh] David: I know it's tough. Sofía: I'll improvise.
[looking at a caricature sketch Sofia has drawn of him and laughing] David: No, it's something that you'd see on a wall in a steak-house in *Hell*.
Julie: If I wasn't me, I'd buy my album. David: You know, if you can reach one person.
David: Even in my dreams I feel like an idiot who's about to wake up.
David: I wasn't hitting on Sophia. Brian: Oh, fine. Whatever you say. I'm crazy. I'm blind. David: You're not blind, you're drinking Jack Daniels, and when you drink Jack you start in with that, "Frank Sinatra, she shot me down, give me a cigarette, King of Sad" thing. Brian: That I do. Give me a cigarette. David: I'll find one. Brian: But wait. You're rich and women love you, and I'm from Ohio and I'm drunk. Can I tell you the truth? David: Everybody does. Brian: I dig her. And I've never said this to you before about any girl, but she could be - could be, could be, could be - the girl of my fucking dreams. David: You're not from Ohio. Brian: I know. But if she fucks up our friendship, she can go to hell. I won't allow it. We are bros. David: I feel the same way. Brian: Sure you do.
David: Say everything now, now, now, now.
Rebecca Dearborn: Most of us live our whole lives... without any real adventure to call our own.
Sofía: [Watching a news article on Cryonics. A dog has survived freezing in a lake] See? It's all right. It worked for Benny!
Brian: I'm going to say this once, because this is the last time we're ever going to talk. I was your only friend David: You have revealed yourself to me.
Brian: Julie Gianni is your fuck buddy?
Julie: Don't you realise David, that when you sleep with someone your body makes a promise even if your mind does not? David: [gives her an odd look]
[Brian leaves the party drunk] Brian: I good you bid evening.
David: [has taken the mask off and is buying tequila from a large barman at the club] Why don't you look me in the face, bitch?
David: [looking at himself in the mirror] Guy in Bathroom: Dude, fix your fucking face. [friend laughs] David: [starts laughing]
Dr. Curtis McCabe: You used Julie carelessly, didn't you?
David: How do you think watertight contracts are broken?
Sofía: [Sarcastically, as she looks at a glass case in David's apartment] So, this is what's become of rock-and-roll - a smashed guitar behind a glass case displayed on some rich guy's wall!
Brian: [after they had a near fatal crash with a Mack truck] My own death was right there in front of me, and do you know what happened? YOUR life flashed before my eyes. David: How was it? Brian: Almost worth dying for.
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