Allied agents stage a daring raid on a castle where the Nazis are holding an American General prisoner... but that's not all that's really going on.

[Smith and Schaffer are observing the Castle of Eagles fortress, and a nearby military base]
Lt. Morris Schaffer: If I'm not mistaken, that's an army barracks over there.
Major John Smith: No mistake, Lieutenant. This the headquarters of the Wehrmacht Alpenkorps.
Lt. Morris Schaffer: Oh, swell. Do you have any other surprises I should know about?
Major John Smith: I thought you knew, Lieutenant. Why do you think we were chosen for his mission as if not to make social contact?
Lt. Morris Schaffer: You mean we're gonna go down there? Mingle with the German Army?
Major John Smith: Of course. Why do you think we're not dressed as German sailors?
Lt. Morris Schaffer: We'll be recognized as strangers.
Major John Smith: Training troops come and go all the time. What are six new faces among 600 new faces?
Lt. Morris Schaffer: Look, Major, this is primarily a British operation. I'm an American. I don't even know why the hell I'm here.
Major John Smith: Lieutenant, you're here because you're an American.
Maj. Wilhelm Wilner: [into a phone] Major Wilner speaking. Ja, Colonel.
SS-Standartenführer Kramer: [into a phone] Can you describe him?
Maj. Wilhelm Wilner: [into the phone] That will not be necessary. Ask him to show you his right forearm.
Major John Smith: Certainly.
Maj. Wilhelm Wilner: [as Smith raises his sleve] There are two parallel scars, about three centimeters apart.
SS-Standartenführer Kramer: [into the phone] The scars are there.
Maj. Wilhelm Wilner: [into the phone] Ask how he get them.
SS-Standartenführer Kramer: [to Smith] How did you get those?
Major John Smith: I was born with them.
SS-Standartenführer Kramer: [into the phone] He says he was born with them.
Maj. Wilhelm Wilner: [into the phone] That is right. Tell him he's a traitor.
Major John Smith: Tell him he's a renegade.
Maj. Wilhelm Wilner: That is Schmidt. No question about it.
SS-Sturmbannführer Von Hapen: [to Mary] Strange... I seem to remember... that the cathedral was on the *other* side of the square.
Major John Smith: Lieutenant, in the next 15 minutes we have to create enough confusion to get out of here alive.
Lt. Morris Schaffer: Major, right now you got me about as confused as I ever hope to be.
Major John Smith: Nobody leaves here until I come back. Jock, save me some coffee.
Sgt. Jock MacPherson: It'll be cold by then.
Major John Smith: They say that's an advantage. You can't taste cold coffee.
Lt. Morris Schaffer: [referring to what Smith called him earlier to maintain his cover] "Second rate punk," huh?
Major John Smith: All I could think of on the spur of the moment.
Lt. Morris Schaffer: Thanks, that makes it even worse.
Major John Smith: [smiles] Sorry.
Major John Smith: Now, General Carnaby, perhaps you'll be good enough to give us your real name, rank and serial number.
[shoots the chair]
Gen. George Carnaby: [long pause, then] Cartwright Jones, Corporal, U.S. Army RA 123-025-3964.
Major John Smith: Thank you.
[repeated line]
Major John Smith: Broadsword calling Danny Boy.
Major John Smith: You're late.
Mary Ellison: One day, I won't come at all.
[repeated line]
Lt. Morris Schaffer: [to Smith] We've got company.
[last lines]
Lt. Morris Schaffer: Do me a favor, will you? Next time you have one of these things, keep it an all-British operation.
Major John Smith: I'll try, Lieutenant.
Colonel Wyatt Turner: [referring to Smith] Some people have a sixth sense. He has a sixth, a seventh and an eighth.
SS-Standartenführer Kramer: Let me remind you, Major, I'm a colonel in the SS and not a lieutenant who you can frighten with your threats!
SS-Sturmbannführer Von Hapen: Your military rank and position are obvious to me, Colonel, and so are your attempts to discredit me with superiors in Berlin.
SS-Standartenführer Kramer: If there is any discredit, you bring it upon yourself. Good night.
Lt. Morris Schaffer: Look, Major, either you start playing it straight or you can deal me out of this mess. Now we both know that radio operator wasn't killed in any drop. Now with MacPherson dead, there's only five of us left. So either you let me know what's going on or there's only gonna be four.
Mary Ellison: I nearly froze to death in that damn plane. Why couldn't you have supplied some hot water bottles or an electrically heated suit? I thought you loved me.
Major John Smith: Can't help what you think.
Major John Smith: You are going up to the castle tonight as, well, yes as a domestic.
Mary Ellison: How? Naked?
Major John Smith: Not a bad idea, but it's a bit obvious.
Lt. Morris Schaffer: There's a stop and start button.
[for the cable car]
Major John Smith: See if you can make the motor work.
Vice Admiral Rolland: Security? The word's become a bloody joke!
Major John Smith: [referring to Colonel Turner] They say he knew Hitler quite well.
Lt. Morris Schaffer: Yeah, I THOUGHT he looked a little nuts.
SS-Sturmbannführer Von Hapen: [Von Hapen surprised Smith and Schaffer] Stay where you are! I advise everyone to be perfectly still. Drop your gun, Major. You too, Lieutenant. By the fireplace.
SS-Standartenführer Kramer: Thank God you're here, Major, we're just about...
SS-Sturmbannführer Von Hapen: [interrupts Kramer] SIT DOWN, colonel! Everybody remain as he is, until I find out what exactly is going on in here.
Major John Smith: [to Schaeffer] In your own idiom, you're a 'punk'. And a pretty second rate punk at that.
Heidi: Better lock the door.
Heidi: [to Mary Ellison disguised as "Maria Schenk"] My dear cousin Maria, you came after all.
SS-Sturmbannführer Von Hapen: Strange... I seem to remember... that the cathedral was on the other side of the square.
[after Schaffer kills a German with a knife]
Major John Smith: That was quick.
Lt. Morris Schaffer: Fear lent him wings, as the saying goes.
[a large body of German troops led by field security chief Colonel Weissner storm into the guesthouse pub in a raid]
Col. Weissner: [addressing the crowd] Attention! We are looking for four or five Alpinekorps deserters from Studguardt. To escape they killed two officers and a guardroom sergeant. They were last known to be heading this way.
Major John Smith: [quitely to his men] Clever. Very clever indeed.
Col. Weissner: [continuting to the crowd] I want all the officers of Drafts 13, 14, and 15 to come forward at once!
[to his men]
Col. Weissner: Check their papers. Check them carefully.
Major John Smith: [to his men] Well gentlemen... any suggestions?
[Thomas, Christiansen, and Berkley are silent]
Major John Smith: [to Schaffer] Lieutenant?
Lt. Morris Schaffer: Well, I think we'll stand a lot better chance of getting away outside then we will in here.
Major John Smith: Agreed. Gentlemen... see you after the war.
Lt. Morris Schaffer: [to Smith, seeing him with Mary] You seem to have a lot of women stashed around this country, Major.
Gen. Rosemeyer: This is preposterous!
[when Smith makes the discussion more confusing than it already was]
Mary Ellison: You must be mad.
Major John Smith: If I wasn't, what would I be doing in this job?
Major John Smith: [In the Werfen gasthaus cafe] And who might you be, my pretty Alpine rose?
Heidi: Heidi. Stop, Major. I've got important work to do.
Major John Smith: There's no more important work than entertaining the soldiers of the Fatherland. Shall I sing you a song?
Heidi: I hear too much singing.

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