Year One Quotes
After being banished from their tribe, two hunter-gatherers encounter Biblical characters and eventually wind up in the city of Sodom.
[from trailer]
[Zed has eaten an apple from the 'Tree of Knowledge']
Zed: I might know everything. Ask me something!
Oh: Where does the sun go at night?
Zed: Pass. Next question.
Oh: Where do babies come from?
Zed: Pass. Next question.
Oh: [noticing a snake] There's a snake on my foot.
Zed: In the form of a question!
Oh: [scared] There's a snake on my foot?
Zed: Correct!
[Zed has eaten an apple from the 'Tree of Knowledge']
Zed: I might know everything. Ask me something!
Oh: Where does the sun go at night?
Zed: Pass. Next question.
Oh: Where do babies come from?
Zed: Pass. Next question.
Oh: [noticing a snake] There's a snake on my foot.
Zed: In the form of a question!
Oh: [scared] There's a snake on my foot?
Zed: Correct!
Abraham: [addressing Zed, Oh, and Isaac] Therefore, to signify my covenant with the one true God, I shall on this day circumcise the flesh of my penis. And of you. And you, and of you, and every male who dwelleth hereby.
Zed: Excuse me?
Oh: I don't know what you mean.
Abraham: We shall grasp the foreskins of our penises, and we shall cut therefrom the extra flesh. Amen.
Zed: Oh... I don't think I have any extra.
Oh: Couldn't we pierce our ears or something?
Abraham: No, no, no. So it shall be written, and so it shall be done.
Zed: Let me get this straight. You're saying you have too much cock? And you wanna...
[makes a cutting gesture. Abraham nods]
Zed: You know, Abe, it's been a long day, we've all had a lot to drink, and I know that this foreskin thing sounds like a good idea now, but you might wanna sleep on it. We can always cut it off in the morning. But if we do it now, there's just no way to get it back on there.
Abraham: No, no, no, trust me, it's gonna be a very, very sleek look. This is gonna catch on. I'm gonna go get my good knife. Just wait right there. I'll be right back to cut your penises. Not the whole thing, you understand. Just the very tip. And after, we're all gonna have wine and sponge cake.
Zed: Excuse me?
Oh: I don't know what you mean.
Abraham: We shall grasp the foreskins of our penises, and we shall cut therefrom the extra flesh. Amen.
Zed: Oh... I don't think I have any extra.
Oh: Couldn't we pierce our ears or something?
Abraham: No, no, no. So it shall be written, and so it shall be done.
Zed: Let me get this straight. You're saying you have too much cock? And you wanna...
[makes a cutting gesture. Abraham nods]
Zed: You know, Abe, it's been a long day, we've all had a lot to drink, and I know that this foreskin thing sounds like a good idea now, but you might wanna sleep on it. We can always cut it off in the morning. But if we do it now, there's just no way to get it back on there.
Abraham: No, no, no, trust me, it's gonna be a very, very sleek look. This is gonna catch on. I'm gonna go get my good knife. Just wait right there. I'll be right back to cut your penises. Not the whole thing, you understand. Just the very tip. And after, we're all gonna have wine and sponge cake.
Oh: [Zed and Oh are fleeing Abraham's camp to avoid being circumcised] Do you have any idea where we're going?
Zed: Yup, we're going to Sodom. We have to save Maya and Eema.
Oh: [referring to Abraham] But he said that God was gonna smite Sodom with holy fire.
Zed: Yeah? God also told him to chop off the tip of his dick.
Isaac: [screaming in the distance] Dad, no! No!
Oh: So listen, I've been thinking, what constitutes the tip of the penis? Because his definition might not be the same as mine. Like, what if the tip is your favorite part?
Zed: The tip is your *only* part.
Zed: Yup, we're going to Sodom. We have to save Maya and Eema.
Oh: [referring to Abraham] But he said that God was gonna smite Sodom with holy fire.
Zed: Yeah? God also told him to chop off the tip of his dick.
Isaac: [screaming in the distance] Dad, no! No!
Oh: So listen, I've been thinking, what constitutes the tip of the penis? Because his definition might not be the same as mine. Like, what if the tip is your favorite part?
Zed: The tip is your *only* part.
