Zookeeper

Zookeeper Quotes

A group of zoo animals decide to break their code of silence in order to help their lovable zoo keeper find love -- without opting to leave his current job for something more illustrious.

Griffin Keyes: How long have you been able to talk?
Donald the Monkey: Let's see, today's Tuesday so... always.
Griffin Keyes: How did you get past the enclosures?
Donald the Monkey: You don't wanna know.
Griffin Keyes: Actually, I do.
Donald the Monkey: Okay, but I don't wanna tell.
Kate: What the hell are you doing?
Griffin Keyes: I was cartwheeling.
Kate: What?
Griffin Keyes: Oh, you said... You said eagles mate for life.
Kate: Yes.
Griffin Keyes: Well, when an eagle finds its perfect mate, they cartwheel, right? That's what they do. They... they lock their talons together, and they spin out of control, and just before they hit the ground... they break apart. The only difference between me and an eagle is... I will hit the ground, as you've just seen.
Kate: You said you were done with the Zoo Game.
Griffin Keyes: I thought I had to change who I was to be happy... But I was wrong. Kate, it took me five years to get over someone I wasn't even in love with. I can't imagine how long it would take to get over you. And on a side note, I may have crushed an ostrich getting here.
Kate: I don't wanna know. I don't wanna know...
[they kiss]
Crow: Do you know what I think we should do?
All The Other Animals: You're not a zoo animal!
Griffin Keyes: [about Kate leaving] Oh, man, it's my fault. I blew it.
Joe the Lion: No, it's my fault. I was the one who told you to be someone you're not.
Janet the Lioness: No, you know what? It's my fault. I was so worried you were gonna leave, I wasn't thinking about you.
Donald the Monkey: It's not my fault. I said throw poop at her. That always works.
Donald the Monkey: Oh, not now, Barry. You just started your diet today.
Jerome the Bear: He's not even chewing.
Bruce the Bear: Take a deep breath.
Barry the Elephant: What? I'm stress-eating; STOP LOOKING AT ME!
Kate: So basically, you're using me?
Griffin Keyes: Not basically. I am.
Pizza Guy: Okay, let's review your order, you want 64 meat lover pizzas and 32 caesar salads, can we interest you in our fudge roll?
Bernie the Gorilla: [Bernie turns to Barry who shakes his head yes] Yes.
Bernie the Gorilla: [after seeing T.G.I. Friday's in person for the first time] Shut up.
Sebastian the Wolf: [as Griffin bathes him] Lather, rinse, repeat.
TGIF Waitress: And you, sir?
Bernie the Gorilla: Thirty oranges.
Donald the Monkey: Don't you get mad at us just because you don't hear a kid cry, "Hey, Mommy, I want to see a crow."
Crow: Okay, that's capacity talk.
Stephanie: Griffin Constantine Keyes... Mm! The changes I've seen in you these past few weeks have been nothing short of remarkable. And I've been doing a little soul searching, and I did a mistake five years ago on that beach, and I wanna correct it. So...
[pulls out an engagement ring]
Stephanie: Will you...
Griffin Keyes: Yeah, not gonna happen.
Stephanie: What?
Griffin Keyes: Come on, you had to see this coming. When we first started dating, you assumed I was gonna turn into the type of guy that you always dreamed about. But you know what? I don't like that guy. I don't like this job, I...
[turns to Dave]
Griffin Keyes: don't, bro, I'm sorry...
Dave: It's not...
Griffin Keyes: Yeah, this I love. But we'll always have this, you know? I love you, right?
Dave: Yeah...
Griffin Keyes: Okay, good.
[turns back to Stephanie]
Griffin Keyes: I don't like this suit. I don't like our Chintaki chairs...
Stephanie: It's Chintoko.
Griffin Keyes: Either one, I don't like them. I don't like the fact that I can't understand 90 percent of the stuff you talk about! But most of all... I hate who I have become.
Griffin Keyes: It took me five years to get over someone I don't love. I can't imagine how long it would take me to get over you.
Kate: I'm taking a job in Nairobi.
Venom: What?
Kate: I was gonna pass, 'cause I started having feelings for someone here, but... he's with somebody else. So... you know?
Venom: I do.
[leans over to kiss her. Kate pulls away]
Kate: What are you doing?
Venom: Oh, what are YOU doing? Don't you play possum.
Kate: What?
Venom: You know, you started having feelings? Come on, "someone here."
Kate: [snorts] I was talking about Griffin.
Venom: Tragic misread of situation.
Joe the Lion: [talks to Griffin for the first time] You wanna talk? Let's talk!
Mollie the Giraffe: [in rap talk] That's how you gonna get a girl. that's how you gonna get a girl, oh yeah. That's how you get a girl. That's how you get-a get-a girl.
Griffin Keyes: [to Joe] Lionesses do the hunting.
Janet the Lioness: We do.
Griffin Keyes: [to Janet] Thank you.
Janet the Lioness: And fighting.
Bernie the Gorilla: [as Griffin goes in Shanes houe] Hey, don't leave me in the van; I'm out of the zoo without my iZod.

Popular Movies view all

The Shawshank Redemption The Godfather The Godfather: Part II The Dark Knight The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King Schindler\'s List Pulp Fiction Fight Club 12 Angry Men The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back Inception