'Allo 'Allo! Quotes
In WW2 France, Rene Artois runs a small café where Resistance fighters, Gestapo men, German Army officers and escaped Allied POWs interact daily, ignorant of one another's true identity or presence, exasperating Rene.
Herr Flick: I have a box of sharp needles somewhere.
[opens a drawer]
Herr Flick: Ah, here they are.
Helga: What have you in mind, Herr Flick?
Herr Flick: I have an excellent gramophone and many old records of Hitler's speeches. They are quite amusing.
Helga: Hitler's speeches quite amusing?
Herr Flick: Played at double speed, he sounds like Donald Duck.
[opens a drawer]
Herr Flick: Ah, here they are.
Helga: What have you in mind, Herr Flick?
Herr Flick: I have an excellent gramophone and many old records of Hitler's speeches. They are quite amusing.
Helga: Hitler's speeches quite amusing?
Herr Flick: Played at double speed, he sounds like Donald Duck.
[Maria has disguised the airmen as waitresses, so René mimes to them that they must not go upstairs with the Germans]
Flying Officer Carstairs: [turning to Fairfax] What was all that about?
Flying Officer Fairfax: I think he means that if Hitler comes in and wants us to go upstairs with him, we're not to go.
Flying Officer Carstairs: Is he like "that," then?
Flying Officer Fairfax: Oh, yes.
René: [to the others] And they must not speak.
[Rene turns to the airmen and mimes that they must be silent]
Flying Officer Carstairs: What does that mean?
Flying Officer Fairfax: Well, if we do go upstairs with Hitler, we're not to tell anyone.
Flying Officer Carstairs: Well, it's hardly the sort of thing you boast about, is it.
Flying Officer Carstairs: [turning to Fairfax] What was all that about?
Flying Officer Fairfax: I think he means that if Hitler comes in and wants us to go upstairs with him, we're not to go.
Flying Officer Carstairs: Is he like "that," then?
Flying Officer Fairfax: Oh, yes.
René: [to the others] And they must not speak.
[Rene turns to the airmen and mimes that they must be silent]
Flying Officer Carstairs: What does that mean?
Flying Officer Fairfax: Well, if we do go upstairs with Hitler, we're not to tell anyone.
Flying Officer Carstairs: Well, it's hardly the sort of thing you boast about, is it.
[the airmen have come downstairs, minus their mustaches, dressed as serving girls]
Flying Officer Fairfax: Carstairs, you're standing like a tart again.
[Carstairs drops his arm to his side]
Edith: [looking the airmen up and down] No one will suspect them. They look just like the staff.
René: Edith, the Germans *take* the staff upstairs from time to time. If they took these two upstairs, do you not think that their suspicions will be aroused?
Yvette Carte-Blanche: We are much more attractive. They will take us.
René: And suppose there is a rush?
Flying Officer Carstairs: What are they saying, Fairfax?
Flying Officer Fairfax: I've no idea - it's all in French.
Flying Officer Fairfax: Carstairs, you're standing like a tart again.
[Carstairs drops his arm to his side]
Edith: [looking the airmen up and down] No one will suspect them. They look just like the staff.
René: Edith, the Germans *take* the staff upstairs from time to time. If they took these two upstairs, do you not think that their suspicions will be aroused?
Yvette Carte-Blanche: We are much more attractive. They will take us.
René: And suppose there is a rush?
Flying Officer Carstairs: What are they saying, Fairfax?
Flying Officer Fairfax: I've no idea - it's all in French.
