Beetlejuice

Beetlejuice Quotes

Loosely based on the film of the same name, this show features Beetlejuice, a wild ghost from the "Neitherworld," and his mortal best friend, a young girl named Lydia.

Lydia Deitz: Though I know should be wary, Still I venture someplace scary! Ghostly hauntings I turn loose Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice!
Beetlejuice: Hey! What am I, garbage?
Lydia Deitz: You wish!
Beetlejuice: [hears moaning] Babes, what's wrong?
Lydia Deitz: My mom's a real trip. She's hosting a trendy combination seance and tackyware party
Delia Deitz: [In the dining room, Delia, wearing a turban, has her guest sitting around a crystal ball] Calling all spirits fantastic, come to my tackyware party of plastic!
[ahs and moans]
Lydia Deitz: Deadly-vu!
Boris To-Death: [Heard announcing the feature movie] Tonight, on Moster Movie Madness, we bring you... "The Thing That Ate New Jersey on Rye", starring the greatest actor in the *universe*...
Lydia Deitz: Boris To-Death
[sighs in admiration]
[repeated line]
Beetlejuice: [swats a bug with his hand and puts it in his pocket] Save THAT guy for later!
Beetlejuice: [about the Monster Across the Street] I'm gonna turn that tinhorn tumbleweed into prairie purÈe!
Lydia Deitz: No B.J.
Beetlejuice: Awe, Babes!
[Beetlejuice has heard that Mr. Fungus, a talking mould in his refrigerator, now has a family]
Beetlejuice: [to Mr. Fungus] Great - I'll raise your rent!
Beetlejuice: [a tumbleweed rolls between Beetlejuice's legs] Whoa! So *that's* why cowboys have bow legs.
Beetlejuice: It's showtime!
[Lydia has banished Beetlejuice back to the Neitherworld, but Claire has heard her... ]
Claire Brewster: Beetlejuice?
Beetlejuice: That's my name!
[Half of him appears in the real world, miniaturized]
Beetlejuice: Now, come on, give me two more!
Claire Brewster: What kind of a name is BEETLEJUICE?
Beetlejuice: Yeah!
[His body is now intact, but he's still six inches high... ]
Claire Brewster: I mean, really...
Beetlejuice: Hey!
Claire Brewster: ...have you ever heard of such...
Beetlejuice: Come ON!...
Claire Brewster: ...a ridiculous name as...
Beetlejuice: SAY IT!
Claire Brewster: ...Beetlejuice?
[Beetlejuice is now at full size... ]
Beetlejuice: It's SHOWTIME!
Claire Brewster: HUH?
[Beetlejuice takes control of Claire's body]
Claire Brewster: Okay Claire, let's get out here and SLAY them!

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