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A witch married to an ordinary man cannot resist using her magic powers to solve the problems her family faces.
Samantha: Gladys, what are you doing? Gladys Kravitz: I came over for a snoop, uh, a scoop of sugar. I hope I'm not disturbing you.
Samantha: Now when it comes to Santa Claus, most mortals don't believe he exists... just like they don't believe in witches.
Abner Kravitz: Gladys, let's play house. You be the door and I'll shut you.
Endora: Samantha, I will not stand here and be insulted by something which is 94 percent water. Darrin Stephens: Oh, yeah! Well, what about something which is a hundred percent hot air?
Samantha: Then I thought of the most brilliant scientific mind of the age. Dr. Bombay: Thank you. Samantha: But he died a year ago, so I decided to call you.
Samantha: I'm not a bad witch! I'm a good witch! Darrin Stephens: Her mother's a bad witch.
Darrin Stephens: Hello, sir. Maurice: Please, why so formal? Call me Maurice. Darrin Stephens: Okay... Maurice. Maurice: Or Dad. Darrin Stephens: Okay... Dad. Maurice: You were right, "Sir" is best.
Larry Tate: [recurring, addressing Darrin] You, son of a gun!
[after finding out Samantha's been to the moon before] Newscaster's Voice: With the evidence of this and future space voyages, we may be closer than we think to actually shooting a man to the moon. Darrin Stephens: I could save them the trip.
Darrin Stephens: You remember Louise Tate, don't you, Serena? Cousin Serena: Ohhhh yes! Hi, Louise! Louise Tate: Hi! Cousin Serena: [to Larry Tate so Louise can't hear them] Congratulations, Cotton-Top, you got a wild-looking chick there!
Samantha: [recurring] Oh, my stars!
Samantha: [to her mother] You know, this has been the strangest morning. First Darrin starts asking ridiculous questions and then you pop in like Lady Macbeth doing the neglected mother bit.
Uncle Arthur: [to Endora] When I think of you as a blood relative, I long for a transfusion.
Samantha: Darling, I've been trying for weeks to give this house a thorough cleaning. These carpets are filthy. Darrin Stephens: How can you worry about dirt on the rugs when we're about to see the surface of the moon? Samantha: The moon could use a vacuuming too. All that dust... yych.
Darrin Stephens: Sam, don't expect your mother to be gracious. She doesn't do imitations.
Samantha: Try to control your temper. Remember, "Peace on earth, goodwill to men" includes witches.