Bob Monkhouse — English Comedian born on June 01, 1928,

Robert Alan "Bob" Monkhouse, OBE was an English entertainer. He was a successful comedy writer, comedian and actor and was also well known on television as a presenter and game show host... (wikipedia)

Silence is not only golden, it is seldom misquoted.
I'm not saying my wife's a bad cook, but she uses a smoke alarm as a timer.