I was a really avid bowler when I was a teenager. I had about a 210-220 average. I had blisters on my fingers.
A bowler is his own captain. I know what needs to be done, what the ball is doing. If you don't know where you are going to bowl and where you think the batsman will hit, then how can you tell the captain what you want? You are the judge.
I headed out to have a breather at the stage door, dressed in my tramp costume. I had my bowler hat between my feet and there were passers-by, and one of them turned back and said, 'Do you need help, brother?' And $1 fell into my hat!
While the liberal media elite depict the bowler as a chubby guy with a comb-over and polyester pants, the reality is that bowling is one of the most tech-heavy sports today. Robotic pinsetters and computerized scoring were just the beginning.
To escape jury duty in England, wear a bowler hat and carry a copy of the Daily telegraph.
One of the great joys of being a slip fielder who takes a catch is you are able to contribute to the bowler's success. Yes, you are putting yourself in the firing line if you stuff it up, but you must want to be in that position to make a difference, and recognise sometimes that you might make mistakes. There are no easy catches in the slips.
I would say I am an ordinary bowler but one with a really big heart, and that's what has stood me in good stead in all these years.
When people say 'Charlie Chaplin' I still think now of the guy in the moustache and bowler hat and funny walk - I don't think of an old man who was my grandfather.
I even had the illusion, for a very short time, that I could become a medium pace bowler.
Like the periwig and the bowler bat, the plus-four and the bow-tie, the blazer is on the way out, and those who persist in wearing it do so with a smattering of self-consciousness, a touch of obstinacy, even a pinch of camp.