Deadwood Quotes
A show set in the late 1800s, revolving around the characters of Deadwood, South Dakota; a town of deep corruption and crime.
[Jack has just been found not-guilty of killing Wild Bill Hickock]
Al Swearengen: What's your name, it's Jack, ain't it?
Jack McCall: Yes, sir! You buy me a drink, I'll make my mark.
Al Swearengen: Stick around camp, Jack- I'll make mine for you.
Jack McCall: What in the hell is that supposed to mean?
Al Swearengen: Means there's a horse waiting for you outside you'll want to get on before somebody murders you who gives a fuck about right and wrong- or I do.
[Jack stares, dumbfounded]
Al Swearengen: It's the paint, Jack. Right outside my joint.
[whispering]
Al Swearengen: Run for your fucking life.
Al Swearengen: What's your name, it's Jack, ain't it?
Jack McCall: Yes, sir! You buy me a drink, I'll make my mark.
Al Swearengen: Stick around camp, Jack- I'll make mine for you.
Jack McCall: What in the hell is that supposed to mean?
Al Swearengen: Means there's a horse waiting for you outside you'll want to get on before somebody murders you who gives a fuck about right and wrong- or I do.
[Jack stares, dumbfounded]
Al Swearengen: It's the paint, Jack. Right outside my joint.
[whispering]
Al Swearengen: Run for your fucking life.
Wild Bill Hickok: You know the sound of thunder, Mrs. Garret?
Alma Garret: Of course.
Wild Bill Hickok: Can you imagine that sound if I asked you to?
Alma Garret: Yes, I can, Mr. Hickok.
Wild Bill Hickok: Your husband and me had this talk, and I told him to head home to avoid a dark result. But I didn't say it in thunder. Ma'am, listen to the thunder.
Alma Garret: Of course.
Wild Bill Hickok: Can you imagine that sound if I asked you to?
Alma Garret: Yes, I can, Mr. Hickok.
Wild Bill Hickok: Your husband and me had this talk, and I told him to head home to avoid a dark result. But I didn't say it in thunder. Ma'am, listen to the thunder.
Seth Bullock: [demanding conditions on buying the lot] 1,000, now. If anyone in that tent, or the building we put up, turns a playing card or pours a drink or offers a woman's services, you get the title back and keep our fuckin' money.
Al Swearengen: What makes you talk to me in that tone of voice?
Seth Bullock: I'm makin' a counter offer.
Al Swearengen: You come into camp, rent my lot, within six hours you blow in a guy's eye with Wild Bill Hickok backin' your play. Next day, I'm supposed to sell you the lot, put you in business, without askin' who the fuck you are or what the fuck you're doin' here?
Seth Bullock: As far as what happened in the street, with Bill Hickok bein' involved, that was a turn of events.
Al Swearengen: A what?
Seth Bullock: It was a turn... of events.
Al Swearengen: Oh, a turn of events. Your partner calls it a coincidence. So, what with this coincidence and turn of events starin' me in the fuckin' face and five other fuckin' things I'm supposed to be payin' attention to, I still make you a sensible proposal and you answer by insulting me in my own joint.
Sol Star: Seth didn't mean to insult you, Mr. Swearengen.
Al Swearengen: You stay out of this! You don't know nothin' about this! You weren't here and you don't have his proxy, so why don't you do whatever you people do when you're not running your mouths off or cheatin' people out of what they earn by Christian work.
Seth Bullock: You don't want to be talkin' that way!
Al Swearengen: Oh, don't tell me how to talk in my own fuckin' place! Now, here's my counter offer to your counter offer - go *fuck* yourself!
Sol Star: Seth...
Al Swearengen: Get him... away from me!
Al Swearengen: What makes you talk to me in that tone of voice?
Seth Bullock: I'm makin' a counter offer.
Al Swearengen: You come into camp, rent my lot, within six hours you blow in a guy's eye with Wild Bill Hickok backin' your play. Next day, I'm supposed to sell you the lot, put you in business, without askin' who the fuck you are or what the fuck you're doin' here?
Seth Bullock: As far as what happened in the street, with Bill Hickok bein' involved, that was a turn of events.
Al Swearengen: A what?
Seth Bullock: It was a turn... of events.
Al Swearengen: Oh, a turn of events. Your partner calls it a coincidence. So, what with this coincidence and turn of events starin' me in the fuckin' face and five other fuckin' things I'm supposed to be payin' attention to, I still make you a sensible proposal and you answer by insulting me in my own joint.
Sol Star: Seth didn't mean to insult you, Mr. Swearengen.
Al Swearengen: You stay out of this! You don't know nothin' about this! You weren't here and you don't have his proxy, so why don't you do whatever you people do when you're not running your mouths off or cheatin' people out of what they earn by Christian work.
Seth Bullock: You don't want to be talkin' that way!
Al Swearengen: Oh, don't tell me how to talk in my own fuckin' place! Now, here's my counter offer to your counter offer - go *fuck* yourself!
Sol Star: Seth...
Al Swearengen: Get him... away from me!
Wild Bill Hickok: Sure you wanna quit playing, Jack? The game's always between you and getting called a cunt.
Tom Nuttall: Meeting adjourned, fellas, take it outside.
Wild Bill Hickok: That dropped eye of yours looks like the hood on a cunt to me, Jack. When you talk, your mouth looks like a cunt moving.
Jack McCall: I ain't gonna get in no gun fight with you, Hickok.
Wild Bill Hickok: But you will run your cunt mouth at me. And I will take it, to play poker.
Tom Nuttall: Meeting adjourned, fellas, take it outside.
Wild Bill Hickok: That dropped eye of yours looks like the hood on a cunt to me, Jack. When you talk, your mouth looks like a cunt moving.
Jack McCall: I ain't gonna get in no gun fight with you, Hickok.
Wild Bill Hickok: But you will run your cunt mouth at me. And I will take it, to play poker.
Wild Bill Hickok: Some goddamn point a man's due to stop arguing with his-self and feeling twice the goddamn fool he knows he is 'cause he can't be something he tries to be every goddamn day without once getting to dinnertime and fucking it up. I don't want to fight it anymore, understand me Charlie? And I don't want you pissing in my ear about it. Can you let me go to hell the way I want to?
E.B. Farnum: [Pacing, practicing his reply to Mrs. Garrett's offer of purchasing his hotel] Madam, in the chambers of my heart beats a love for every crooked timber of this shitbox of a structure, this building. This building, its warped floorboards and...
Richardson: [drops dishes in the background] Fie!
E.B. Farnum: Why, even in Richardson, my chef, my eyes see a beloved household pet somehow walking upright - see in Richardson a half-witted child, nonetheless adored.
Richardson: [drops dishes in the background] Fie!
E.B. Farnum: Why, even in Richardson, my chef, my eyes see a beloved household pet somehow walking upright - see in Richardson a half-witted child, nonetheless adored.
Al Swearengen: My oath on this; everyday that the widow sits on her ass in New York City, looks west at sunset, and thinks to herself "God bless you ignorant cocksuckers in Deadwood who strive mightily and have little money, to add to my ever increasing fortune," she'll be safe from the whiles of Al Swearengen.
Ellsworth: Well'm, I've got myself a working gold claim.
Joanie Stubbs: Well, sir, is that a damn fact?
Ellsworth: A hell of a working gold claim, and if we knew each other better I'd throw "fucking" in there somewhere.
Joanie Stubbs: If you did I'd try to catch it.
Ellsworth: A working fucking gold claim, Joanie, and thank you for allowing me my full range of expression.
Joanie Stubbs: Well, sir, is that a damn fact?
Ellsworth: A hell of a working gold claim, and if we knew each other better I'd throw "fucking" in there somewhere.
Joanie Stubbs: If you did I'd try to catch it.
Ellsworth: A working fucking gold claim, Joanie, and thank you for allowing me my full range of expression.
Al Swearengen: Wild Bill Hickok and those two guys that walked past you downstairs save the squarehead kid; tell Ned to stick around so they see what the kid has to say about him.
Persimon Phil: Wild Bill Hickok?
Al Swearengen: And Ned throws down...
Persimon Phil: Against Wild Bill Hickok?
Al Swearengen: Against Hickok and this other cocksucker who draws almost as fast, so it's a toss-up who blew Ned's head off.
Persimon Phil: Wild Bill Hickok?
Al Swearengen: And Ned throws down...
Persimon Phil: Against Wild Bill Hickok?
Al Swearengen: Against Hickok and this other cocksucker who draws almost as fast, so it's a toss-up who blew Ned's head off.
[Mose Manuel demands refund for his spending at the Bella Union]
Francis Wolcott: Including youth, Mr. Manuel? And why not beauty? Not credibly restored, perhaps, but as a new non-negotiable term? Would you not have, too, your brother Charlie resurrected? Would you stipulate your envy of him being purged? Surely, you insist that Charlie retain certain defects - his ineffable self-deceptions, for example, which were your joy in life to rebuke, and purpose, so far as you had one. I suppose you would see removed those qualities which caused you to love him, and the obliviousness to danger which allowed you to shed his blood.
Francis Wolcott: [Mose draws his gun and is shot by Bella Union guards] I want to talk to Bullock.
Cy Tolliver: Get the fucking doc! I could have cooled that out.
Francis Wolcott: On my order, Mr. Tolliver, Lee will burn this building, mutilating you before, during or after, as I specify, or when he chooses unless I forbid.
Cy Tolliver: Oh, my full attention is at your disposal.
Francis Wolcott: Including youth, Mr. Manuel? And why not beauty? Not credibly restored, perhaps, but as a new non-negotiable term? Would you not have, too, your brother Charlie resurrected? Would you stipulate your envy of him being purged? Surely, you insist that Charlie retain certain defects - his ineffable self-deceptions, for example, which were your joy in life to rebuke, and purpose, so far as you had one. I suppose you would see removed those qualities which caused you to love him, and the obliviousness to danger which allowed you to shed his blood.
Francis Wolcott: [Mose draws his gun and is shot by Bella Union guards] I want to talk to Bullock.
Cy Tolliver: Get the fucking doc! I could have cooled that out.
Francis Wolcott: On my order, Mr. Tolliver, Lee will burn this building, mutilating you before, during or after, as I specify, or when he chooses unless I forbid.
Cy Tolliver: Oh, my full attention is at your disposal.
Al Swearengen: They butt into other people's business; and make the business of other's their own - these bought-out, no good cocksuckers.
Tom Mason: Hickok, you talkin' bout?
Al Swearengen: Oh, fuckin' big shot he is.
Persimon Phil: Big fuckin' shot, when he's standing in front of you.
Al Swearengen: One in his ear from behind, I'd like to see how fucking tough he was.
Tom Mason: Hickok, you talkin' bout?
Al Swearengen: Oh, fuckin' big shot he is.
Persimon Phil: Big fuckin' shot, when he's standing in front of you.
Al Swearengen: One in his ear from behind, I'd like to see how fucking tough he was.
