Hercules, aided by his best friend Iolaus, goes on many adventures helping people and slaying mythical monsters using his half-god strength.

Iolaus: Have you ever been wrong?
Hercules: I thought so once, but I was wrong.
Hercules: What are you doing here?
Iolaus: What do you mean?
Hercules: Iolaus, you're dead.
Iolaus: Yeah, well, I was kinda hoping you wouldn't notice.
Hercules: Once you have harpies you can't get rid of them.
Autolycus: All men think they're fascinating- in my case, it's justified.
Autolycus: Ah, my fame spread like wildfire.
Iolaus: No, more like a bad rash.
[Hercules is walking through a cavern where dozens of Arachne's cocooned victims are bound in spider's web]
Hercules: This is one big web site.
Autolycus: I hate to break it to you, big guy, you've got harpies.
Ares: I can't believe you have these mortals convinced that you're this "Kevin Sorbo" character.
Hercules: Some people just aren't ready for the truth.
Autolycus: Gadzooks, if I were a woman I'd kiss myself!
Hercules: Rumor has it that Otis stole it from a warlord who had stolen it from someone else.
Autolycus: So much for honor among thieves; gives us all a bad name.
Iolaus: The truth hurts doesn't it.
Autolycus: Yeah, so does my fist.
[after bopping a thug in the face with his own forehead]
Salmoneus: Ahh! How do people do that without getting headaches?
Trojan Fugitive: [poking a spear at a trembling bush] Come out, spy!
Weyland the Slave: [standing up indignantly] I'm not a spy! I'm a slave!
Trojan Fugitive: We do not accept slaves in Troy.
Weyland the Slave: That's all right. I'm used to prejudice.
[Iolaus tries to fight a giant eel by himself]
Lydia: How do you expect to win?
Iolaus: You just keep going until something clever occurs to you.
Autolycus: Of course I care about the needs of the people... I happen to be one of them.
Loki: Rage makes a poor tactician.