Invader ZIM Quotes

A short alien bent on conquering Earth poses as a human, and only one paranoid child knows his secret. Warning: Piggies may be involved in resulting insanity.

Dib: You can't make me look! I'll just shut my eyes.
Zim: Oh, you'll open them. You have to breath sometime.
Dib: No, I - Wait... What do eyes have to do with breathing?

Zim: Computer, give me all the information you have on the FBI.
Computer: The FBI is a government law enforcement agency.
Zim: Continue.
Computer: Insufficient data.
Zim: "Insufficient data"? Can't you just make an educated guess?
Computer: O... kay... Um, founded in 1492 by, uh... demons, the FBI is a crack law enforcement agency designed to... uh, I dunno, fight... aliens?
Zim: I KNEW IT!

Dib: [gasping] Sorry I'm late... horrible... nightmare visions!
Ms. Bitters: It's called life, Dib. Now sit down.

Zim: My Tallest! My Tallest! Hey! Hey My Tallest! My Tallest? My Tallest! Hey! Hey! Hey! My Taaaaaaallist! My Tallest? My Tallest! Hey! Hey My Tallest! My Tallest? It's me! My Tallest? My Tallest!
Almighty Tallest Red: I was waiting to see when you would shut up on your own, but it's been three hours, Zim. THREE HOURS! What do you want?
Zim: Well, I noticed you're moving closer to the Earth than *ever* before!
Almighty Tallest Red: How would you know that?
Zim: Oh I know all kinds of theings about you. Pretty creepy, huh? Anyhow, I was...
Almighty Tallest Purple: Hey!... That *is* creepy! You're creepy, Zim.

Gir: [disguised as a dog] MEOW!

Dib: You're just jealous...
Zim: This has nothing to do with jelly!

Tak: The great thing about your people Dib is that, most of them don't notice. All they see is another faceless corporate venture! Not a plan for world conquest!
Dib: Wait, is there really a difference?

[Zim's telescope is malfunctioning]
Zim: Gir! Come to the observatory!
[Gir's head pops out of ceiling]
Gir: Yeees?
Zim: What have you done to the telescope?
Gir: Nothin'...
Zim: You haven't touched it? Something is broken and it's not your fault?
Gir: I know, I'm scared too!

Dib: Ms. Bitters, I think a pencil is lodged in my brain. Can I go to the nurse?
Ms. Bitters: How far in your brain?
Dib: [looks at nose] Pretty far.

Dib: [commenting on his teacher, Ms. Bitters] Someone said she's existed from time immemorial and they just built the school around her.

Zim: [Zim kicks open the classroom door after a bathroom break] My business is done!
Dib: [suspiciously] Who takes three hours to go to the bathroom *before* lunch, Zim?
Zim: Nonsense! I had much to do! SO MUCH!

Gir: I love this show!

The Letter M: What's wrong with you? All you talk about is aliens and ghosts and seeing Bigfoot in your garage!
Dib: He was using the belt sander...

Zim: I am the only one who can decode the files!
Dib: And I am the one with the files to be decoded!
Gir: AND I'M... AAAH-ahah... I dunno.

[Zim stuffs a globe into a goldfish bowl, goldfish is crushed against side of bowl]
Zim: Now do you understand my latest and most brilliant plan for earth conquest Gir?
Gir: I'm gonna eat that fish.
Zim: No, Gir. The fish is part of the plan.

Dib: My head's not big! Why does everyone say that?

[a kid gets hit by a kickball]
Kid: Ow, my organs!
Zim: Buahahaha. Inferior human organs!
[Zim gets hit by the ball]
Zim: Boh! My squeedily spooch!

Zim: Prepare your bladder for imminent release!

[a mystic escape portal is in Dib's own forehead]
Zim: There! That should be wide enough.
Dib: What about me? How do I get back?
Zim: Good question! BUT I DON'T CARE!

Zim: Ha! Watch Dib! Watch as I bring a royal audience to the downfall of the human race!
Dib: I don't wanna watch that.
Zim: Oh. Ok... WAIT! THAT'S TOO BAD!

Zim: Oh, such tacos will I give!

Zim: Zim... You're alive?
Zim: So very alive. And filled with goo! *Mission* goo!

Zim: Lemony fresh victory shall be mine!

Zim: You're nothing Earth boy! Go home and shave your giant head of smell with your bad self!
Dib: Okay... There's all kinds of things wrong with what you just said.

Zim: GIR! What are you doing?
Gir: I made mashed po-ta-toes!
Zim: Yes... and muffins...

Zim: [over video link] Soon, I'll bring the Tallest here to witness my ingenius evil! AHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA! HAAH! I said evil! AHAHAHAA!
Dib: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Professor Membrane: [from basement] Son, there'd better not be any walking dead up there!
Dib: It's nothing to worry about, Dad! And I said I was sorry about that!

Zim: Good question. I don't care!

Zim: I put a tracking device on you.
Dib: You did? Where is it?
[GIR is grabbing the back of his head]
Gir: Your head smells like a puppy!

Dib: There are many mysteries still unsolved. I figure, you know... I'll do some of that.

Gir: CHICKEN! I'm gonna eat you!

Zim: You dare agree with me? Prepare to meet your horrible doom!

Professor Membrane: You should listen to your brother maybe if you did he wouldn't be so insane
Gaz: But his voice, it fills me with this anger

Almighty Tallest Red: So, you're saying the humans are dumb, yet... tall. HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE? How can anything tall be dumb?
Almighty Tallest Purple: [With his mouth full] Yeah, huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can you imagine, huh? Huh? Huh?

Gir: Tell me a story about giant pigs!

Nik: Hey look, there's a binary system. Ever been to a binary system before?
Oog-Ah: Mmm...
Nik: Would it... would it kill you to say something?
Oog-Ah: Quiet or I'll eat your head. That enough words for you?
Nik: I... I was just making conversation...

[Carrying a large, bewildered pig over his head]
GIR: Let's go to my room, pig!

Gaz: [to Dib] All I wanted was to have some pizza, hang out with dad, and not let your weirdness mess up my day!

GIR: [shouts] I'm dancing like a monkey!

[GIR is disguised as a government agent]
Gir: I am government man, come from the government. The government has sent me.

Zim: Come, GIR. Let us rain some doom down upon the heads of our doomed enemies.
Gir: I'm gonna sing the Doom Song now.
[singing]
Gir: Doom doom doom...

Gir: Your methods are stupid; your progress has been stupid; your intelligence is stupid!

Zim: What are you watching?
Gir: Angry monkey.
Zim: That horrible monkey!
Gir: Mmhmm.

[at the North Pole]
Elves: [singing] Bow down... bow down... before the power of Santa! Or be crushed... be crushed... by his jolly boots of doom!

Zim: It's over, Tak! The Earth is mine to devastate... and I already promised the moon to GIR.

Gir: I'm gonna roll around on the floor for a while. KAY?

GIR: Lets make biscuits! LETS MAKE BISCUITS!

Gir: Somebody needs a hug!

Dib: Can I ask you something? What are your species' main weaknesses? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh?
Almighty Tallest Purple: Who's that large headed kid?
Almighty Tallest Red: I don't know... But his head is large!
Dib: Excuse me, alien scum? Gimme your home planet's coordinates!

Zim: Curse you snacks! Curse yooooooou!

Gir: I'm gonna sing the Doom Song now. Doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom
[Screen goes black and then displays a message: Six Months Later]
Gir: Doom doom doom doom doomy doomy doom doomy doom doom doom doom doom doom doom
[continues singing]
Zim: Gir, would you please stop singing?

[Zim has sent GIR to attack Dib. GIR is poking at his controls making him spin in circles. An alarm that sounds like a car alarm]
Zim: [to self] Hmm, maybe he's not such a bad evil minion after all.
Dib: [to gir] Hey! Go away!
GIR: Okey dokey!
[flies away]

Ms. Bitters: Children, your performance was miserable. Your parents will all receive phone calls instructing them to love you less now.

Zim: [looking over the town for a telescope he can use] There's one, but it belongs to the Dib human.
Gir: So? He seems nice!

[inventorying equipment, looking at SIRs]
Almighty Tallest Purple: Malfunctioning SIR units. HEY! These things are dangerous! Anyone using these could really get hurt!
[pause]
Almighty Tallest Purple: Send them to Zim!
Almighty Tallest Red: [gasps] But they'll DESTROY him!
Almighty Tallest Purple, Almighty Tallest Red: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Almighty Tallest Purple: Ah, let's go eat food!

Gir: Awww... I wanted to explode.

Gir: [five minutes after eating it, crying] I miss my cupcake.

Zim: Gir, do you want to wake up the entire planet?
Gir: [shouts] I do!

Almighty Tallest Red: Fire some kinda laser... thingie at 'em; RIGHT NOW!

Zim: You expect me to pay to ride this filthy contraption? Have you the brain worms?

[repeated line]
Gir: YAY!
Zim: No, Gir. That's bad.

Zim: Is that Irken equipment you're using? That's Tak's ship you're sitting in, isn't it?
Dib: Yes it is, Zim! It fell fro...
Zim: Isn't it?
Dib: I said it was! Man, Zim, you have a problem with listening.
Zim: ISN'T IT?

Zim: Shut your noise tube, Taco Human!

Zim: But... invader's blood marches through my veins, like giant RADIOACTIVE RUBBER PANTS! The pants command me. Do not ignore my veins!

Gir: Hi floor! Make me a sandwich!

Zim: GIR! Unleash the monkey!
GIR: ...MONKEY!

Gir: [Zim's compass magnetically sticks to Gir] Aww, it likes me.

Zim: What *is* our mission, GIR?
Gir: Blend in with the indigenous life, analyze their weaknesses, prepare the planet fo the coming madness, yay!