Most people don't know that I am an accomplished dramatic actor... But I've performed in several Shakespeare productions including Hamlet, except in this version, Hamlet lives in an apartment with two women, and has to pretend he's gay so that the landlord won't evict him. John Ritter
I used to brag that I can hold up any eviction - even if the landlord had legal rights, I could hold it up for a year. Ed Lee
As the revenue of the farmer is realized in raw produce, or in the value of raw produce, he is interested, as well as the landlord, in its high exchangeable value, but a low price of produce may be compensated to him by a great additional quantity. David Ricardo
A landlord is showing a couple around an apartment. The husband looks up and says, 'Wait a minute. This apartment doesn't have a ceiling.' The landlord answers, 'That's OK. The people upstairs don't walk around that much.' Gilbert Gottfried
We are only tenants, and shortly the great Landlord will give us notice that our lease has expired. Joseph Jefferson