The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby.
How can anybody hate nurses? Nobody hates nurses. The only time you hate a nurse is when they're giving you an enema.
The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.
The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.
I think about baseball when I wake up in the morning. I think about it all day and I dream about it at night. The only time I don't think about it is when I'm playing it.