A genius mouse and his stupid sidekick try to conquer the world each night.

Pinky: Gee, Brain. What are we going to do tonight?
The Brain: The same thing we do every night, Pinky. Try to take over the world.
The Brain: I'd like to thank all the little people I stepped on to get where I am today.
Dolly Parton: I'm your biggest fan, what do ya say to that?
The Brain: I'd say puberty was inordinately kind to you.
The Brain: Are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Pinky: Woof, oh, I'd have to say the odds of that are terribly slim, Brain.
The Brain: True.
Pinky: I mean, really, when have I ever been pondering what you've been pondering?
The Brain: To my knowledge, never.
Pinky: Exactly. So, what are the chances that this time, I'm pondering what you're pondering?
The Brain: Next to nil.
Pinky: Well, that's exactly what I'm thinking, too.
The Brain: Therefore, you ARE pondering what I'm pondering.
Pinky: Poit, I guess I am.
The Brain: This is the earth. And this is Pinky. You can tell the difference quite easily. One is a lump of inert matter hurtling blindly through the void. The other... is the earth.
Pinky: Narf!
The Brain: Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Pinky: I think so Brain, but if you replace the P with an O, my name would be Oinky, wouldn't it?
The Brain: We're going to a place where the sun never sets, the size of your wallet matters, and actors and actresses slave all day.
Pinky: We're going to Denny's?
The Brain: Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Pinky: I think so Brain... but do I really need 2 tongues?
The Brain: Quiet Pinky, I'm getting ready for tomorrow night.
Pinky: Why? What are we going to do tomorrow night?
The Brain: [Irritated] Guess!
Pinky: Oh, try to take over the world, right.
Pinky: Egad. You astound me, Brain.
The Brain: That's a simple task, Pinky.
The Brain: Are you pondering what I'm pondering, Pinky?
Pinky: Wha, I think so Brain, but - *snort* No, no, it's too stupid.
The Brain: We will disguise ourselves as a cow.
Pinky: Narf. That was it *exactly*.
The Brain: Hurry up, Pinky, If we don't get to Carley Simon's house I'll never know if that song was about me.
The Brain: Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Pinky: I think so Brain, but Zero Mostel times anything will still give you Zero Mostel.
[the Brain has made a list of the 5 things needed to be a country singer]
The Brain: Read the list to me, Pinky.
Pinky: Okay. "Cowboy clothes."
The Brain: Check.
Pinky: Southern accent.
The Brain: Check, Y'all.
Pinky: Very good, Brain. "Working-class values."
The Brain: I like beef jerky and the comedy stylings of Gallagher. Check.
Pinky: A name consisting of no less than three words.
The Brain: Just call me Bubba Bo Bob Brain. Check.
Pinky: A height of at least six feet.
The Brain: Che... Drats.
The Brain: The entire world will beg to bow before me, their charismatic despot.
The Brain: Are there any questions?
Pinky: Oh, Oh, pick me, Brain.
The Brain: GENERAL Brain.
Pinky: Yes, um, what is the password?
The Brain: I can't tell you. If you were to be captured you might give it away.
Pinky: What, me? Never, no, Narf, never.
The Brain: And if you were tortured?
Pinky: Oh, well that's different then, isn't it?
The Brain: Pinky, you give a whole new meaning to the phrase, "counter-intelligence." You have the I.Q. of plaster.
The Brain: ...that excites the masses.
Pinky: Newspapers? Religious tracts? The Victoria's Secret catalogue?
Pinky: Just say "poit".
The Brain: Whenever I say "poit" Pinky, we will be on Mars.
Pinky: What planet is this?
The Brain: Pinky, there are times when I feel I'm bearing my soul to a tube of caulk.
Pinky: Mmm! Caulk!
The Brain: ...And yet I continue.
The Brain: Do you practice being dim or is it a natural talent?
Pinky: Oh practice Brain. All day, EVERYDAY!
The Brain: Tomorrow night, Pinky, we will come up with a new plan. One that isn't foiled by the atomic weight of gold.
The Brain: Are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Pinky: I think so, Brain, but if the plural of mouse is mice, wouldn't the plural of spouse be spice?
The Brain: We must head to a place where overweight, middle-aged people go to party and throw away money.
Pinky: Capitol Hill?
The Brain: I will accept nothing less than mahogany.
Pinky: There is no substitute for Diana Ross.
The Brain: Pinky, are you pondering what... you know.
Pinky: I think so, but... uh... something about a duck.
The Brain: Sigmund Freud would have had a field day with you, Pinky.
Pinky: Ah, he liked sports then, did he?
The Brain: Are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Pinky: I think so, Brain, but if we get "Sam spayed," we'll never have any puppies.
The Brain: Moo. We are a cow. Take us to China.
The Brain: Are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Pinky: Yes Brain, but if our knees bent the other way, how would we ride a bicycle?
[the Brain's shrinking chant]
The Brain: Charlie Sheen, Ben Vereen, shrink to the size of a lima bean.
The Brain: So many levels...
[drools]
The Brain: ahhhhh...
Big Jake: And they say them UFO things are just pie plates... well, they ARE pie plates. ALIEN pie plates...
[repeated line]
The Brain: YES!
The Brain: Are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Pinky: Wuh, I think so, Brain, but wouldn't anything lose its flavor on the bedpost overnight?
The Brain: Hi, I'm Bubba Beau Bob Brain.
[theme song]
Singers: They're Pinky and the Brain / Yes, Pinky and the Brain / One is a genius, the other's insane / They're laboratory mice, their genes have been spliced / They're Pinky, they're Pinky and the Brain brain brain brain, brain brain brain brain / Before each night is done, their plan will be unfurled / By the dawning of the sun, they'll take over the world! / They're Pinky and the Brain / Yes, Pinky and the Brain / Their twilight campaign is easy to explain: / To prove their mousy worth, they'll overthrow the earth / They're dinky, they're Pinky and the Brain brain brain brain, brain brain brain brain... Narf!
The Brain: Enough. If this is what passes for conduct becoming of world leaders, I don't want any part of it.
The Brain: Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Pinky: Well, I think so Brain, but balancing a family, and a career? Ooh, it's all too much for me.
The Brain: Are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Pinky: I think so, Brain, but we're already naked.
The Brain: Are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Pinky: I think so Brain, but burlap chafes me so.
The Brain: Are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Pinky: Uh... yeah, Brain, but where will we get rubber pants our size?
The Brain: Are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Pinky: I think so, Brain, but me and Pippi Longstocking... I mean, what would the children look like?
The Brain: So, you sacked the cocky khaki Kicky Sack sock plucker?
Mr. Sackett: The second cocky khaki Kicky Sack sock plucker I've sacked since the sixth sitting sheet slitter got sick.
The Brain: Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Pinky: I think so, Brain, but how are we going to make pencils that taste like bacon? Or maybe we should make bacon that tastes like pencils. Narf.
The Brain: Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Pinky: I think so, Brain, but then it'd be Snow White and the Seven Samurai...
The Brain: Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Pinky: Um... I think so, Brain, but what if the chicken won't wear the nylons?
The Brain: Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Pinky: I think so Brain, but why would anyone want a depressed tounge?
The Brain: Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Pinky: Well, I think so Brain, but if we didn't have ears, we'd look like weasels.
The Brain: Are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Pinky: I think so, Brain, but can the Gummi Worms really live in peace with the Marshmallow Chicks?
The Brain: Now throw the switch and let us begin the battle for the planet.
The Brain: Yes, finally! The Happy Sappy Children of Many Lands ride! Where cheering music will spread the message that a mouse should rule the world!
Pinky: Oh no, Brain. Narf! You're thinking of that other park in Orlando.
[Pinky's film about World Domination is ruined]
The Brain: Come, Pinky, we must prepare for tomorrow night.
Pinky: Why? What are we going to do tomorrow night.
The Brain: Same thing we do every night, Pinky. Try to take
[the film slows down and rips apart]
Singers: They're Dinky, They're Pinky and the Brain Brain Brain Brain Brain.
The Brain: Are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Pinky: Uh, I think so, Brain, but balancing a family and a career... oooh, it's all too much for me.
The Brain: No, Pinky. Never use two drops of the formula. It would cause a reaction on the molecular level that is completely unpredictable.
Pinky: Oh, I hate it when that happens. Narf.
The Brain: Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Pinky: I think so Brain, but pants with horizontal stripes make me look chubby.
The Brain: Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Pinky: I think so, but where will we find an open tattoo parlor at this time of night?
The Brain: Are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Pinky: I think so, Brain, but how will we get a pair of Abe Vigoda's pants?
The Brain: Are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Pinky: Well, I think so, Brain, but I can't memorize a whole opera in Yiddish.
The Brain: Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Pinky: I think so, Brain, but how will we get the Spice Girls into the paella?
The Brain: Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Pinky: I think so, Brain, but this time, you put the trousers on the chimp.
Pinky: What are we going to do tonight, Brain?
The Brain: Same thing we do every night, Pinky. Try to ditch Dudley Boore!
The Brain: Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Pinky: I think so Brain, but... Kevin Costner with an English accent? I dunno.
The Brain: Are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Pinky: Well, I think so, Brain, but if Jimmy cracks corn, and no one cares, why does he keep doing it?
The Brain: Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Pinky: I think so Brain, but if Jimmy cracked corn, and no one cares, why does he keep doing it?
The Brain: Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Pinky: I think so, Brain, but if they called them "sad meals" no one would buy them.
The Brain: Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Pinky: Well, I think so Brain, but isn't Regis Philbin already married?
The Brain: Are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Pinky: I think so Brain, but the Rockettes, it's mostly girls, isn't it?
The Brain: Behold, I can create fire from a little box.
Alan: So what?
Cannibal #1: Big deal.
Cannibal #2: Let's eat 'em.
The Brain: I can steal your souls and put them in this glass.
Alan: So what?
Cannibal #1: Big deal.
Cannibal #2: Let's eat 'em.
Pinky: I can make bubbles with my spit.
[the cannibals gasp and begin to bow]
The Brain: *Now* do you believe we were sent by your god?
Alan: Naw, that's just *really cool*.

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