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The story of a young group of siblings pretty much abandoned by their parents, surviving by their wits - and humor - on a rough Manchester council estate. Whilst they won't admit it, they ... See full summary »
Mickey Milkovich: Alright shithead, this is like the two hundredth time I'm calling and you not picking up! I'm starting to get fucking homicidal. Call me the fuck back, Ian! I'm worried about you. I love you. Call me back.
Lip Gallagher: I believe the answer to that question, like the answer to most questions, is fuck you!
Carl Gallagher: [to Sammi] You think you scare me? Bring it, bitch!
Carl Gallagher: [about constantly getting in trouble at school] A shrink at school says I'm one of God's mistakes.
Frank Gallagher: I'd be crying right now if I wasn't so high.
Fiona Gallagher: What if he shows remorse? Carl Gallagher: What's that? Fiona Gallagher: It means you say you're sorry! Carl Gallagher: [smirks] I'm not.
Lip Gallagher: I'm not my dad. You hear me? I'm not my fucking dad!
Steve: And what exactly does "hooked up" mean? Kevin Ball: Last time I checked, penis goes into vagina.
Frank Gallagher: Now, nobody's sayin the Chatsworth Estate is the Garden of Eden, but it's been a good home to us, to me - Frank GALLAGHER - and me kids, who im proud of! 'Cause every single one of them reminds me a little... of me. They can all think for themselves! Which they've me to thank for. Fiona! Who's a massive help. Lip, who's a bit of a gobshite, which is why nobody calls him 'Philip' anymore. Ian - a lot like his mam which is handy for the others 'cause she's disappeared into thin air. And Carl! We daren't let him grow his hair for two reasons; 1, it stands on end and makes him look like Toya and 2, nits love him. Debbie! Sent by God, total angel. You've to check your change, but she'll go miles out of her way to do you a favour. Plus Liam! Gunna be a star! Once we've got the fits under control. Steve; Fiona's boyfriend. The truth is out there... NOT. Fantastic neighbours, Kev and Veronica! Lend you anythin' - well, not anythin'. But all of them to a man... who knows first and formost the most vital necessity is this life is they know how to throw a PARTY! Heh heh... Scatter!
Kevin Ball: [to Veronica when she's about to give birth] Baby, you know what this means, right? I got a magic dick!
Debbie Gallagher: That's right. NO ONE FUCKS WITH A GALLAGHER!
Ian Gallagher: Sometimes we get so wrapped up in getting what we want, that we forget to ask ourselves why we wanted it in the first place.
Sheila Jackson: I will make this kitchen my bitch.
Frank Gallagher: [shouting while walking around the Chicago waterfront and drinking a beer] I'M *ALIVE,* MOTHERFUCKER!
Lip Gallagher: Facts cannot be racist. Many Irish are drunks. Many French smell. Most Chinese hate children, that's why they sell them to Americans.
Frank Gallagher: Human misery - you can't get enough of it! Willing a bloke to chuck himself to his death so that you can have a bit of fucking "entertainment"! Serves you right if he lands on your heads, you brainless cunts.
Carol: [Debbie has accidentally burnt Carl's anus while they were lighting farts] You're lucky the house didn't go up, rubbish he eats.
Sheila Jackson: They're having a party for kids across the street. No booze. Frank Gallagher: [smiles] What's the point?
Fiona Gallagher: [to Debbie] Nobody *fucks* with the Gallaghers!
Kevin Ball: [to Veronica] I thought that's what you ladies wanted. A shared housework, wage equality and all that Hunger Games, Lady Gaga girl power shit!
Veronica Fisher: [to Fiona] So is Lip getting serious about Mandy Skankovich?
Frank Gallagher: Word from the wise: get your stuff out quick sharp, otherwise he'll have your stereo in his veins before you can say Dolby surround sound.