A team of five teenaged superheroes save the world from many villains around their city while experiencing things normal teens face today.

Slade: Who knows... I could become like a father to you.
Robin: I already have a father.
[Bats fly off and Batman music plays]
Raven: You may have created me. But you were *never* my father.
[blasts Trigon]
Trigon: Wretched - insignificant -
[gets blasted again]
Raven: Fathers are *kind*. Fathers *protect* you. Fathers *raise* you. I was protected by the monks of Azarath. I was raised by my friends. *They* are my family. *This* is my home. And you are not welcome here!
Aqualad: Fish tacos? What were you thinking? I'm from the ocean! These were probably friends of mine!
Speedy: You said get lunch and I got lunch. Chow down!
Raven: [smiling at Beast Boy and Cyborg] Thank you... friends.
Beast Boy: So then, we really are friends?
Raven: [nodding and blushing] Um-hmm.
Beast Boy: And you really think I'm funny?
Raven: Don't push it.
[repeated line]
Raven: Azarath... Metrion... ZINTHOS.
Raven: Um... I know this isn't my style, but we just kicked Slade's butt. Shouldn't we... celebrate or something?
[Beast-Boy and Cyborg stare]
Beast Boy: Yeah!
Cyborg: All-you-can-eat...
Beast Boy: Free form...
Beast Boy, Cyborg: Breakfast explosion!
Raven: Sorry I asked.
Raven: [after she and Starfire have switched bodies] Starfire! You have to calm down. My powers are driven by emotion. The more you feel, the more energy you unleash.
Starfire: I will try to calm down.
[takes a few deep breaths and closes her eyes]
Starfire: Peace... quiet... tranquil...
[her powers cause a car to flip over and blow sky high]
Raven: We are sooo doomed.
Fang: [to Robin, who's dancing with Kitten under duress] Keep your hands off my girl.
[attacks Robin]
Starfire: [blasts Fang] Keep your legs off my boy!
Robin: What do you say we give him the sonic boom?
Cyborg: I got the sonic if you got the boom!
Robin: You've got a problem, Tin Man?
Cyborg: YEAH. It's four feet tall and smells like cheap hair gel.
[about to watch a scary movie]
Robin: Can't be any scarier than that documentary on hot-dogs Starfire made us watch.
Starfire: It was fascinating! I had no idea Earth-people ate so many pigs... and insects!
Cyborg: When I was at the H.I.V.E., for a time, I felt... normal.
Starfire: Well, I did not know you before, so to me, you *are* normal.
[Beast Boy has just caught Raven]
Raven: You saved me? I thought you didn't like me.
Beast Boy: Thought you didn't like me.
Cyborg: Hey! I like both of you! Now let's get out of here!
Beast Boy: See? SHE thinks I'm funny.
Raven: Statistically, someone has to.
[Raven wakes up from a nightmare in her goth-style room]
Raven: Maybe I should consider redecorating.
Cyborg: All right, y'all, four eyes is history, his ghoulies are gone, and we just saved the whole dang universe! Who wants French toast?
Starfire: Oh, me, please. I shall consume them with gravy and the butter of peanuts.
Beast Boy: See, it all started back in 1492 with this tea party, in Boston. King George, or maybe it was King Norm-anyway... The British were trying to make the colonists drink all this tea. But they were like, "Dude! No way! We're sick of your nasty old tea and your crummy English muffins!" So they decided, "Revolution!"
Raven: Where'd you learn you history? A cereal box?
Beast Boy: What's your point?
Raven: [sweat drops]
[to her evil father, Trigon]
Raven: [raising her voice] I was protected by the monks of Azarath, I was raised by my friends. *They* are my family. *This* is my home!
Raven: And you are not welcome here!
[the Titans are deciding on pizza toppings]
Cyborg: Come on, how can you deprive me of the all-meat experience?
Beast Boy: Dude, I've BEEN most of those animals.
Cyborg: [Cyborg and Beast Boy are playing racing car games] You wanna past me, but you can't pass me, you can't pass... YOU PASSED ME!
Robin: No one can could ever take your place.
[ater Elastigirl of the Doom Patrol calls Beast Boy by his first name]
Cyborg: ..."Garfield?"
[Beast Boy gives embarrassed chuckle]
Raven: [wicked grin] Oh, I'm gonna get a *lot* of mileage out of this one.
Cyborg: [trying to convince Raven to come to the birthday party they're throwing for her] We've got a pinata shaped like Beast Boy. You know you wanna smack it.
Cyborg: Have you ever seen her this happy?
Beast Boy: Dude, I didn't think Raven could DO happy.
Beast Boy: I may not be smart enough to know everything, but I'm dumb enough to try anything.
Kitten: Hi, Robbiepoo!
Starfire: Robin... who is this girl, and why is she calling you "poo"?
Raven: Don't make me send you to another dimension.
Starfire: You guys. I don't know what to do? I've tried every joke, and every bodily noise I can think of and Beast Boy still won't wake up. I'm afraid Beast Boy's brain is lost forever.
Raven: Beast Boy had a brain?
Beast Boy: [laughing] Good one... Hey wait a minute? Dude that's not funny. I totally have a brain. I just don't use it much.
Beast Boy: Now I know how George Washington felt when Napoleon beat him at Pearl Harbor.
Robin: [wondering what Slade's motives were for helping Trigon take over the world] So, why did you do it? For money? Status? Those dark powers?
Slade: Not everything is so... cut-and-dry, Robin.
Robin: Selling out our world for your own personal gain seems pretty cut-and-dry to me.
Slade: With or without me, there was no stopping this.
Robin: But you played a part; And just like everything else you've ever done, it's made people suffer.
Slade: It's what I do best.
Robin: Slade. We're ready for you.
Slade: Give me the girl!
Robin: No way!
Slade: You don't really have a choice. I'm taking her.
Beast Boy: Oh, yeah? You and what army?
[an army of fire creatures appear and then Beast Boy screams]
Cyborg: You just had to ask, didn't you?
Robber: [bats come swarming out of the shadows] Who's there? I don't want any trouble.
Robin: You should have thought about that before you committed the crime!
Raven: Having that thing inside doesn't make you an animal. Knowing when to let it out is what makes you a man.
Beast Boy: Hmm, maybe you should call me Beast Man from now on.
Raven: We're having a moment here, don't ruin it.
[repeated line]
Robin: Titans *go*!
Red X: Kid, you take life way too seriously.
Raven: The gem was born of evil's fire. / The gem shall be his portal. / He comes to claim. He comes to sire. / The end of all things mortal.
Robin: You can't hold us here forever!
Spike: Now, don't be a sore loser. Atlas is just better than you, better than all of us!
Starfire: Your Atlas is nothing but a Zolworg Tubeck Plixing Zarbmarker!
Beast Boy: Yeah! What she said!
Spike: You watch your tone! Atlas is the greatest. He deserves your respect.
Raven: Sooo, do we get bathroom breaks?
Beast Boy: You guys... missed me?
Cyborg: Sure! Who else is going to help me wax the T-Car?
Robin: And spar with me in the gym?
Starfire: And wolf down nauseating amounts of tofu while Raven and I watch?
Raven: Uh... how about we just go out for pizza?
Control Freak: I am the masterof monsters. I am your worst nightmares come to life. I am... Control Freak!
[Makes aplause sound with remote control and tvs]
Raven: A couch-potato with a souped-up remote. I'm petrified.
Control Freak: You will be. You will be.
Raven: [during a battle in the tower, she sees a bunch of robots come out of a room] That's my room! NOBODY GOES IN MY ROOM!
Slade: [to Trigon] For the record, I'm nobody's servant!
Beast Boy: Umm... watch out for falling dinosaurs?
Terra: My name is Terra and I have done horrible things. I have sworn to serve a dark master. I have obeyed his every command and commited crimes in his name. I have betrayed and attacked everyone who used to be my friend. One-by-one I have destroyed the Teen Titans. And with no one left to stop me I have brought an entire city to its knees. My name is Terra. I have done horrible things... and I have absolutely no regrets.
Raven: Terra.
Terra: Raven.
Raven: Traitor.
Terra: Witch.
Beast Boy: So, I guess it is bad to watch too much TV.
Starfire: But, we were only victorious because you watches too much the television.
Raven: So, I guess there really is no lesson.
Cyborg: Yep, it was all completely meaningless.
[everyone laughs]
Raven: [after getting off of Beast Boy as a rhino] ... And now I smell like rhino butt.
Robber: Hey, this isn't your town. Aren't you suppose to be with...
Robin: Just moved here and from now on I work alone!
Beast Boy: [to the green Raven] What is with you? First you nuke breakfast, then you laugh at my jokes, then you're all weepy, now you're a Marine? Make up your mind!
Beast Boy: Who are you?
Raven: [pink, gray and green Raven] I'm Raven.
[after Raven laughs and leaves the roof of Titan Tower]
Starfire: Many of your Earth ways are still strange to me, but that was... just plain freaky, correct?
Beast Boy: [after being dropped on his head] Is it just me or are we getting our butts kicked?
Robin, Raven: [in unison] It's just you.
Cyborg: And the last slice of pizza goes to...
[spins the slice]
Cyborg: Terra!
Robin: All right, Terra!
Beast Boy: Whoo!
Starfire: You are the winner!
Raven: Um... way to go.
Cyborg: Just a rookie and already you're an MVP and the winner of the coveted four cheese trophy! The world wants to know, how does it feel?
Terra: Um, good, and kind of greasy.
Cyborg: You're going to pay for that, you little grass stain!
Raven: [to BeastBoy] I respect that you don't eat meat... please respect that I don't eat fake meat.
Raven: So... do we get bathroom breaks?
Terra: You said you'd be my friend no matter what, remember?
Beast Boy: Slade was right. You don't have any friends.
[Robin just lost a fight]
Beast Boy: Dude, you got your butt kicked. It happens.
Raven: Happens to some of us more than others.
[repeated line]
Cyborg Decoy: Boo-yah!
Starfire: I am happy to see her. But Blackfire rules the videogames and she is able to share very depressing poems AND she knows the cool moves and she always knows when people are NOT talking about shovels.
Robin: ...
[the Teen Titans arrive back at the Tower. Starfire bursts through the door, gleeful]
Starfire: Come, Friends. I shall thank you all by reciting the Poem of Gratitude. All six thousand verses.
[the Titans look shocked]
Beast Boy: You talk to fish? Yeah, right.
Aqualad: I'm talking to you, aren't I?
Beast Boy: Well, I, uh, technically, I'm a squid
Aqualad: It's called telepathy. Follow me.
Beast Boy: [imitating Aqualad] It's called telepathy.
Aqualad: I heard that.
Beast Boy: Who is this guy?
Beast Boy: Ex-Doom Patrol member Beast Boy, sir. How can I help? Wowzers! You're Robin, aren't you, sir?
Robin: Well, you can start by not calling me sir.
Cyborg: Fuzzy dice? Now that's just tacky!
Slade: I have to say Raven, when I found out the truth I was very impressed. All this time I had no idea of the power lurking inside you. The glorious destiny that awaits. It's always the quiet ones, isn't it?
Starfire: Are ALL the schools on your planet this horrible?
Cash: What's going on, Buddy?
Cyborg: I want my car.
Sammy: Yeah, see, um... the thing is... we sort of lost it in a race.
Cash: No way, we beat him easily. She handled like a dream.
Cyborg: She did? How'd you take the curve? Cause, you know, I've been working on the supsension part to d-d-d-d... Don't try to distract me.
Starfire: [after getting their bodies back from being switched, to Raven] I am me! And you are you!
Cyborg: [the rest of the Titans have their bodies back] And we're us!
Robin: Thanks to you two.
Beast Boy: You go girls!
Starfire: We have done it!
[jumps and embraces Raven]
Raven: [horrified] Ummm... you're hugging me!
Kitten: Would it kill you to smile?
Robin: [pained, scary smile] Maybe.
Raven: Please tell me this isn't another ridiculous prank.
Beast Boy: Okay, it's not another ridiculous prank. It's a brilliant prank!
Starfire: [upon first meeting Terra] Curiosity abounds! Please, tell us where you are from, how you got here, what's your favorite color, and do you wish to be my friend?
Terra: Uh, Earth, walked, red, and, sure.
Starfire: [giving Terra a huge hug] Hello, new friend!
Beast Boy: I'm just... practicing my nose-whistling!
Raven: I always thought you were funny, BB. But I guess looks aren't everything.
Starfire: Never have I been so thankful to have nine stomachs.
Cyborg: City Hall. We should be able to hide here. Til Mad Mod's tanks come to tear it down.
Raven: Whoa. That was actually more depressing than what I was going to say.
[Starfire, Cyborg and Robin are sitting at a picnic table]
Starfire: This tangy yellow beverage is truly delightful.
Cyborg: Uh, Starfire?
Robin: That's mustard.
Starfire: Is there more?
[Robin and Cyborg stare at her weirdly]
Beast Boy: [Beast Boy offers to rescue his team from a destructing underwater complex by turning into a whale and letting them ride in his mouth]
[pointing to mouth]
Beast Boy: Hello...
Raven: I'd really rather just stay here and drown.
[Cyborg is trying to pass as a student at the H.I.V.E]
Cyborg: Mmmm! Sloppy Joes! Just like the mad scientist who created me used to make!
Terra: Your not getting mad are you Raven? Beast Boy told me all about your temper tantrums.
Raven: Anger is pointless, my emotions are under control.
Terra: [mocking Raven] Nna! Nna! Nna! Anger is pointless, and your calling me a liar?
Madame Rouge: Yes, Robin, do keep in touch.
Raven: [just got a glimpse of Mad Mod's underwear] Okay... really not something I needed to see.
Pelican: Oh have you seen my hippo? He hides and I must seek.
Starfire: I cannot play. Please, do you know a strange man named Control Freak? He is big, not tall and nasty and known for causing strife. He escaped into the TV.
Beast Boy: Hey Star, run for your life!
Starfire: [about Slade's invading army of robots] They are too numerous to fight. What shall we do?
Robin: Fight anyway.
Kid Flash: Hold on a second. If you guys are called the "H.I.V.E. Five," how come there's six of you?
[awkward silence]
See-More: [feebly] 'Cause it... sounds cooler...
Terra: [to Raven, after an earthquake] Are you gonna give me that look every time there's an earthquake?
[Gizmo, Mammoth, and Kid Wykkyd have cornered Kid Flash in a dead-end corridor]
Gizmo: End of the road, snothead!
Kid Flash: You guys realize I can vibrate my molecules through solid matter, right?
[he phases through the wall and reappears behind the villains]
Kid Flash: Later, guys!
[runs off]
Beast Boy: Ooh, squiggly lines. Way informative.
Trigon: The time has come. The prophecy shall be fulfilled. Tonight at dusk, when the planets align, the portal will be opened. Finally, I shall be free from this fiery prison and the Earth shall be mine.
Slade: Will you destroy the Teen Titans?
Terra: I thought you'd never ask.
Beast Boy: ...kaaaay... do you come with subtitles?
Mumbo: Do I still have to go to jail?
Beast Boy: Dude, turtles know what's up.
Brother Blood: School is now in session and here's the first lesson: NO ONE DEFIES BROTHER BLOOD!
[after Starfire returns from the future]
Beast Boy: [in tears] You're telling me I'M going to be BALD?
[the Titans are treating Terra to lunch - Starfire holds up a plate of green gelatin containing what looks suspiciously like intestinal tract]
Starfire: Might you wish to partake of my home-made glorg?
[the other Titans mime "No! No!" at Terra, who wolfs it down in one bite]
Terra: Tasted like... sushi mixed with ice-cream. Got any more?
Starfire: I shall go cultivate the fungus!
Cyborg: You're the nasty egg people who stole all my waffles!
Slade: Only a minor set back. Nothing two old friends can't handle.
Robin: I am not your friend.
Raven: I'm still getting his drool off my face. I don't want him anywhere near my brain.
Cyborg: [as the tower is under attack] Somebody wanna explain how 200 armed robots got past my security?
Beast Boy: British engineering. Finest in the world.
Raven: Can you please stop talking like that?
Beast Boy: You're just jealous because I sound like a rock star.
Robin: Calling all Titans!
[after winning an on-line video game]
Atlas: Atlas wins again! Derek Wyatt of East-Gotham City... I dominate you.
Mad Mod: Next lesson, physics! What goes up... STAYS UP!
Robin: Until I take it down!
Demon: You cannot hope to defeat pure evil.
Slade: Actually, I'm not such a nice guy myself.
Starfire: You are a klorbag varblernelk!
Raven: The book of Azar is not a toy!
[Control Freak is in a Teen Titans chatroom]
Titans Fanboy #1: Robin and Starfire forever!
Titans Fanboy #2: Starfire should be with BB.
Titans Fangirl: No way!
Starfire: Hello, Starfire! Hello, tiny wooden replica of Starfire!
Starfire: Your Atlas is nothing but a Zolworg Tubeck Plixing Zarbmarker!
Beast Boy: Yeah, what she said!
Beast Boy: Terra, Stop! We're your friends!
Terra: I don't have any friends. Remember?
[she punches him]
Robin: All you care about is destruction!
Slade: And all you care about, you destroy.
Beast Boy: Wakie, wakie, tofu eggs and bakie.
Cyborg: Is there any meat in that tofu?
Beast Boy: No, there's no meat in the tofu, it's TOFU.
Starfire: [while holding three strips of tofu bacon to her head] Observe. I am a Rorphian Zopgar.
[she giggles]
Starfire: [Cyborg and Beast Boy give her blank looks]
Starfire: On my planet, this is hilarious.
Starfire: [to Robin, who is on a self-deprecating rant] No more Robin yelling at Robin!
[trying to be funny]
Starfire: How many Oparans does it take to hogey a morflark? FIMBAR.
Robin: I've stopped you before!
Slade: Robin, if you've "stopped" me, then why am I still here?
Blackfire: How do I look?
Robin: ...pink.
Starfire: Let us initiate a group hug!
Beast Boy: Who wants tofu waffles?
Cyborg: Man, *no one* wants tofu waffles.
Starfire: Cyborg, you seem all lobstery.
[everyone looks at her strangely]
Raven: I think she means crabby.
Cyborg: So, we really are friends?
Raven: Yes.
Beast Boy: And you really think I'm funny?
Raven: Don't push it.
Beast Boy: No matter what I do, she STILL treats me like tofu eggs.
Beast Boy: This is the best pie in the history of pie.
Raven: I am afraid. But that dosen't mean I can't fight back.
Starfire: ...boogers?
Robin: [to Cinderblock] Drop it Cinderblock before we drop you.
Gizmo: [going through Beast Boy's CDs] Crud... snot... MEGA crud... snot... crud... snot...
Slade: Hello, Terra. Remember me?
Robin: Who is Slade?
[while fighting Plasmus]
Beast Boy: Only one thing worse than goo...
Raven: [flying by] Sneeze goo.
Beast Boy: Ewww... gross!
[It is dark and Beast Boy has turned into an octopus]
Starfire: Eeek! Someones claws are on my grebnacks.
[Two popping sounds]
Beast Boy: Hehe... my bad
Brother Blood: [about Bumblebee] Another spy! Tell me, was anyone at my school actually there to LEARN?
Terra: They actually trust me.
Val Yor: I was trying to pay her a compliment.
Raven: Then why does it still sound like an insult?
Raven: [after discovering the sole occupant of a flying saucer] So we're being invaded by cows?
Headmistress: I am deeply sorry. Once the agents have been retrieved from the authorities, they will be severely punished.
Slade: No need. They were messengers, and my message got across loud and clear.
[then Slade pushes a button that has images of Robin popping up on the TV]
Robin: [on the TV] Who is Slade?
Mad Mod: Nothing teaches discipline better than a brain-erasing trance.
Raven: Unbridled joy? Not really my thing.
Mumbo: It's only fair to warn you - I have no idea what I'm doing!
Goth dude: Soooo... you like show tunes?
Starfire: I will not read your book of meanness and swirls.
Mad Mod: My machines! That meddlin' little snot is gonna pay for...
[he turns and sees Robin, who grabs him by the shirt]
Mad Mod: Er... 'ello, Guv'nor!
Cyborg: I will NOT be havin' attitude from a BOAT!
Mad Mod: 'Ello, my duckies!

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