Jay Sherman is a New York film critic who has to review films he doesn't like for a living.

Theater Employee: Excuse me sir, the show is over.
Jay Sherman: But I have nowhere to go...
[End Credits]
Usher: Excuse me, sir. The show's over.
Jay Sherman: Is the snack bar still open?
Jay Sherman: [finishing a movie review] ... and that's why Goldie Hawn should be shot!
Franklin: I have a new girlfriend for you, son. Her name is Barbie and she lives in Mali-boo. She already has a boyfriend named Ken, but he's not much of a man,
Franklin: ... I checked.
Theater Employee: Excuse me, sir. The movie's over.
Jay Sherman: I'm stuck in the chair!
[repeated line]
Jay Sherman: It stinks!
[repeated line]
Jay Sherman: Hotchie Motchie!
Dressmaker: We dressmakers have a very strict code, so I need to know. Do you deserve to wear virginial white? Because if you don't, you'll have to wear an off white, what we call a "hussy white". So which will it be? White white?
Margo Sherman: Yes... um, except for the gloves.
Theater Clerk: Excuse me, the show's over.
Alice Tompkins: Get away, pipsqueak!
Jay Sherman: That's why I love her!
Jay Sherman: Celebrity voices are impersonated. No celebrities were harmed in the filming of this episode.
Alice Thompkins: Listen to your heart.
Jay Sherman: Everybody always says that.
Jay's Stomach: Nobody ever listens to me!
Jay Sherman: [Driving a truck] I've got to keep driving, I can't stop for anything!
Roadside Farmer: Meet Ingmar Bergman, 25 cents!
Jay Sherman: [Disappointed] Oh...
[Keeps on driving]
Roadside Farmer: [to Bergman] Well, you'd best get back to the strawberry patch with Polanski and Bertolucci.