The O.C. Quotes
A troubled youth becomes embroiled in the lives of a close-knit group of people in the wealthy, upper-class neighborhood of Newport Beach, Orange County, California.
Marissa: Hey, how come you're the brains? I'm the one who talked us back into that club.
Seth: I'm sorry. I'm the brains.
Ryan: You can be the beauty.
Marissa: Okay, thanks.
Summer: Great, and what am I, Cohen?
Seth: Uh, the boobs?
[Summer hits him]
Seth: Uh, the bitch?
Summer: Okay, I'll take the boobs.
Seth: Hey. So will I.
[Summer laughs]
Seth: [later]
Marissa: See, I think I should be the brains.
Ryan: No, Seth's the brains.
Marissa: Well, you're clearly not the beauty.
Ryan: Ooooh, and now someone's the bitch.
[smiles]
Seth: I'm sorry. I'm the brains.
Ryan: You can be the beauty.
Marissa: Okay, thanks.
Summer: Great, and what am I, Cohen?
Seth: Uh, the boobs?
[Summer hits him]
Seth: Uh, the bitch?
Summer: Okay, I'll take the boobs.
Seth: Hey. So will I.
[Summer laughs]
Seth: [later]
Marissa: See, I think I should be the brains.
Ryan: No, Seth's the brains.
Marissa: Well, you're clearly not the beauty.
Ryan: Ooooh, and now someone's the bitch.
[smiles]
Ryan: [Seth has been smoking pot due to stress of going to college] It's almost 3:30. Isn't your interview at 4?
Seth: [high] What are you talking about?
[looks at clock]
Ryan: Are you ready?
Seth: Am I ready? Do me a favor.
[pulls up shirt sleeve and feels bicep]
Seth: Go ahead and feel that. Feel that puppy right there.
Ryan: No.
Seth: Okay. You don't want to touch another man, I get it. You find my slender swimmer's body, um, intimidating.
Ryan: [confused] Something smells.
Seth: No it doesn't. No it doesn't. But they, uh, they say that the first sign of a, um, brain tumor, is, uh, phantom smells so you should lie down.
[Ryan finds can of air freshener]
Seth: Hey. Hey, you solved it. You're a mystery solver. You're like - you're like Encyclopedia Brown. Remember when Encyclopedia Brown went on down to Texas...
[Ryan raises his eyebrows]
Seth: -and solved the mystery of the great shootout? Hey - how about this for a change. A cage match - Encyclopedia Brown versus the Great Brain - to the death.
Ryan: [pause] Are you high?
Seth: [tries to look innocent, then laughs uncontrollably] Am I high? No. No! Come on, man, I love it when you go for the comedy but I would not - I would not quit your day job beating up people. I would.
Seth: [Ryan finds ashtray with joints] I don't know how that got there.
Seth: [high] What are you talking about?
[looks at clock]
Ryan: Are you ready?
Seth: Am I ready? Do me a favor.
[pulls up shirt sleeve and feels bicep]
Seth: Go ahead and feel that. Feel that puppy right there.
Ryan: No.
Seth: Okay. You don't want to touch another man, I get it. You find my slender swimmer's body, um, intimidating.
Ryan: [confused] Something smells.
Seth: No it doesn't. No it doesn't. But they, uh, they say that the first sign of a, um, brain tumor, is, uh, phantom smells so you should lie down.
[Ryan finds can of air freshener]
Seth: Hey. Hey, you solved it. You're a mystery solver. You're like - you're like Encyclopedia Brown. Remember when Encyclopedia Brown went on down to Texas...
[Ryan raises his eyebrows]
Seth: -and solved the mystery of the great shootout? Hey - how about this for a change. A cage match - Encyclopedia Brown versus the Great Brain - to the death.
Ryan: [pause] Are you high?
Seth: [tries to look innocent, then laughs uncontrollably] Am I high? No. No! Come on, man, I love it when you go for the comedy but I would not - I would not quit your day job beating up people. I would.
Seth: [Ryan finds ashtray with joints] I don't know how that got there.
Taylor Townsend: You know, it is so great that you guys have each other.
Summer: [confused] Thanks.
Taylor Townsend: 'Cause everyone knows that Marissa was the popular one, and Seth, no judgment, but it's not like you got any cooler in the last two years. I mean, everyone just acted that way because they were afraid of Ryan Atwood. I mean, even as a senior, you're still pretty much the biggest geek in Newport.
Summer: [cuts Taylor off] Oh-ho, no. All right, listen to me, skank, just because you're saying really mean things in, like, a really nice voice, doesn't mean that we don't realize that you're just some stupid little skank!
Summer: [confused] Thanks.
Taylor Townsend: 'Cause everyone knows that Marissa was the popular one, and Seth, no judgment, but it's not like you got any cooler in the last two years. I mean, everyone just acted that way because they were afraid of Ryan Atwood. I mean, even as a senior, you're still pretty much the biggest geek in Newport.
Summer: [cuts Taylor off] Oh-ho, no. All right, listen to me, skank, just because you're saying really mean things in, like, a really nice voice, doesn't mean that we don't realize that you're just some stupid little skank!
Marissa: So, my mum's trying to drag me to cardio bar again. It's her idea of mother-daughter bonding.
Summer: Cardio bar, Coop?
Marissa: Well, she says it's the new Taibo. So maybe I can learn to kick her ass.
Summer: I don't think you need to do any more cardio.
Marissa: What's that supposed to mean?
Summer: Nothing. It's just that - well and I mean this in the least scandalous way but you're looking a little thin.
Marissa: I eat!
Summer: Cardio bar, Coop?
Marissa: Well, she says it's the new Taibo. So maybe I can learn to kick her ass.
Summer: I don't think you need to do any more cardio.
Marissa: What's that supposed to mean?
Summer: Nothing. It's just that - well and I mean this in the least scandalous way but you're looking a little thin.
Marissa: I eat!
Kirsten: [frowns] Why is that ninja smoking a cigarette?
Sandy: Honey honey, I don't actually think that's a ninja, ninjas usually wear capes, right?
Kirsten: oooh so a ninja is like a super hero
Seth: [had enough] mom, dad, you two enjoy
[gets up]
Seth: Ryan
[steps over Sandy's legs]
Seth: give me five minutes
Sandy: Where you goin?
[Ryan smiles]
Sandy: come on back
Ryan: Nice work
[Kirsten smiles, pleased]
Sandy: Never underestimate a parent's ability to mortify his child
Sandy: Honey honey, I don't actually think that's a ninja, ninjas usually wear capes, right?
Kirsten: oooh so a ninja is like a super hero
Seth: [had enough] mom, dad, you two enjoy
[gets up]
Seth: Ryan
[steps over Sandy's legs]
Seth: give me five minutes
Sandy: Where you goin?
[Ryan smiles]
Sandy: come on back
Ryan: Nice work
[Kirsten smiles, pleased]
Sandy: Never underestimate a parent's ability to mortify his child
Summer: You know, Cohen, with your two hands on the wheel and the wind blowing through your hair
[looks at Seth, nods]
Summer: you actually looked kinda hot.
Seth: Let me guess, Summer, you have a
[shrugs, amused]
Seth: weakness for seamen.
[smiles]
Summer: [screws up her face] Ewww Cohen, and then there's that.
Seth: Nah, aww.
[looks at Seth, nods]
Summer: you actually looked kinda hot.
Seth: Let me guess, Summer, you have a
[shrugs, amused]
Seth: weakness for seamen.
[smiles]
Summer: [screws up her face] Ewww Cohen, and then there's that.
Seth: Nah, aww.
Seth: [Graduation is that day] When they announce my name, uh, could you *not* do that cheer you did for me when I won Capture the Flag at parents' weekend?
Sandy: W-which cheer was that? Oh! Oh, oh, oh! Check out my boy Cohen! Can you believe how he's growin? The competition away he's blowin!
Seth: That's the one. Please don't do that. Ever.
[They smile and laugh]
Sandy: W-which cheer was that? Oh! Oh, oh, oh! Check out my boy Cohen! Can you believe how he's growin? The competition away he's blowin!
Seth: That's the one. Please don't do that. Ever.
[They smile and laugh]
Summer: Ugh, this bikini is so uncomfortable. I need to go get a new one. You want to go to South Coast?
Marissa: Totally. There's a Paul Frank sale there on Wednesday.
Summer: Wednesday? I can't. I have plans with Zach.
Marissa: Oh, more plans with Zach, huh?
Summer: Yes. The more time I spend with Zach, the less time I have to think about - God, what's his face? Built like a beanpole, curly hair, runs away like a little bitch on a sailboat leaving nothing but a note for his girlfriend who cried and cried over him till the Fourth of July when she decided she doesn't cry over bitches on boats.
Marissa: Seth. His name. It's Seth.
Summer: I know. I'm just doing that thing where I pretend I don't and I have to use a lot of descriptive insults to give voice to my inner pain.
Marissa: Totally. There's a Paul Frank sale there on Wednesday.
Summer: Wednesday? I can't. I have plans with Zach.
Marissa: Oh, more plans with Zach, huh?
Summer: Yes. The more time I spend with Zach, the less time I have to think about - God, what's his face? Built like a beanpole, curly hair, runs away like a little bitch on a sailboat leaving nothing but a note for his girlfriend who cried and cried over him till the Fourth of July when she decided she doesn't cry over bitches on boats.
Marissa: Seth. His name. It's Seth.
Summer: I know. I'm just doing that thing where I pretend I don't and I have to use a lot of descriptive insults to give voice to my inner pain.
Summer: [after Taylor has tricked Summer into giving up Social Chair position] Just so you know, you and your friend the Dean may have won this round, but the war is not over.
Taylor Townsend: Well, unless you have an exit strategy, don't even get out of the boat. I am a human quagmire.
[leaves]
Summer: [tries to look unruffled, then stops random passing student] What's a quagmire?
[student ignores her and walks away]
Summer: Hello?
[to entire hallway]
Summer: What's a quagmire?
Taylor Townsend: Well, unless you have an exit strategy, don't even get out of the boat. I am a human quagmire.
[leaves]
Summer: [tries to look unruffled, then stops random passing student] What's a quagmire?
[student ignores her and walks away]
Summer: Hello?
[to entire hallway]
Summer: What's a quagmire?
Summer: [after Summer and Seth have tricked Taylor into revealing her affair with Dean Hess] Hey, skank.
Seth: You were expecting someone taller? Blonder, with a pageboy haircut?
Summer: Welcome to the Terradome, Townsend. You're busted.
Taylor Townsend: [smugly] For what, exactly?
Summer: Hmm. A little extracurricular activity with Dean Hess? Yeah. I saw you two making out at the dance.
Taylor Townsend: [smugly] So what if we did?
Seth: [stumped, to Summer] She makes one hell of a poker player. I mean, she's pretty good.
Summer: Yeah, well, unless you and the Dean want this little thingamajig...
Seth: [corrects Summer] Indiscretion.
Summer:
Seth: Yeah.
Summer: Starting with the lifting of the ban of Ryan Atwood from Harbor.
Taylor Townsend: [indifferent] You can go ahead and tell anyone you want. No-one's going to believe you.
Seth: [frustrated] She's like a block of ice.
Summer: You willing to bet your squeaky little reputation on that, Taylor trash? 'Cause I've got a *huge* mouth and an even bigger buddy list. Mmm-hmm.
[whips out Sidekick]
Summer: See this right here? Sidekick. Walkie-talkie of the twenty-first century. Who should we radio first?
Seth: How about my dad?
Summer: Yeah. 10-4, good buddy. So what's it going to be? You can either tell Seth's dad the perverted truth and save your sorry ass, or you can roll the dice. Over and out.
Seth: You were expecting someone taller? Blonder, with a pageboy haircut?
Summer: Welcome to the Terradome, Townsend. You're busted.
Taylor Townsend: [smugly] For what, exactly?
Summer: Hmm. A little extracurricular activity with Dean Hess? Yeah. I saw you two making out at the dance.
Taylor Townsend: [smugly] So what if we did?
Seth: [stumped, to Summer] She makes one hell of a poker player. I mean, she's pretty good.
Summer: Yeah, well, unless you and the Dean want this little thingamajig...
Seth: [corrects Summer] Indiscretion.
Summer:
Seth: Yeah.
Summer: Starting with the lifting of the ban of Ryan Atwood from Harbor.
Taylor Townsend: [indifferent] You can go ahead and tell anyone you want. No-one's going to believe you.
Seth: [frustrated] She's like a block of ice.
Summer: You willing to bet your squeaky little reputation on that, Taylor trash? 'Cause I've got a *huge* mouth and an even bigger buddy list. Mmm-hmm.
[whips out Sidekick]
Summer: See this right here? Sidekick. Walkie-talkie of the twenty-first century. Who should we radio first?
Seth: How about my dad?
Summer: Yeah. 10-4, good buddy. So what's it going to be? You can either tell Seth's dad the perverted truth and save your sorry ass, or you can roll the dice. Over and out.
Sandy: Well, you've been tryin'a get him to come to Thanksgiving for years.
Kirsten: The only reason why he is here is because his food didn't show up and the game is on.
[drinks]
Sandy: You know, you might wanna slow down with that. You're drinkin on an empty stomach.
Kirsten: Don't you tell me to slow down. Tell him to hit the bricks!
Sandy: Hit the bricks? Who talks like that?
Kirsten: Don't you judge me. I have a family that won't let me cook for Thanksgiving dinner, I have a father who is using me for my candied yams, and we are out of Merlot!
Anna: Do you want some... privacy?
Sandy: Oh...
Kirsten: The only reason why he is here is because his food didn't show up and the game is on.
[drinks]
Sandy: You know, you might wanna slow down with that. You're drinkin on an empty stomach.
Kirsten: Don't you tell me to slow down. Tell him to hit the bricks!
Sandy: Hit the bricks? Who talks like that?
Kirsten: Don't you judge me. I have a family that won't let me cook for Thanksgiving dinner, I have a father who is using me for my candied yams, and we are out of Merlot!
Anna: Do you want some... privacy?
Sandy: Oh...
Zach: Look Seth, I've always liked you but if I have to sacrifice our friendship to be with Summer, I'll do it.
Seth: Amazing, all this time I thought you were a nice guy.
Zach: Wake up, I'm a waterpolo player, we're never nice guys.
Seth: Well looks like I won't need to worry about adding you to Atomic County, you're already there - the demon Water Polo player, the ironicists nemesis.
Zach: And its gonna take a little bit more than quick-quips and pop-culture laden bromides to win little Miss Vixen.
Seth: So its war.
Zach: Its war.
Seth: Amazing, all this time I thought you were a nice guy.
Zach: Wake up, I'm a waterpolo player, we're never nice guys.
Seth: Well looks like I won't need to worry about adding you to Atomic County, you're already there - the demon Water Polo player, the ironicists nemesis.
Zach: And its gonna take a little bit more than quick-quips and pop-culture laden bromides to win little Miss Vixen.
Seth: So its war.
Zach: Its war.
Seth: Yeah, it's too bad you're leaving. We never eat like this.
Kirsten: That's not true. I cook all the time.
Seth: [scoffs] Dad...
Sandy: I'm sorry, honey.
[starts laughing]
Kirsten: Let's just eat.
Sandy: We're not saying we want you to cook more.
Seth: Oh...
[blows raspberry]
Seth: Hell, no. You remember the meat loaf incident of '98?
Kirsten: That was brisket.
Seth: Yeah, that's my point exactly.
Kirsten: That's not true. I cook all the time.
Seth: [scoffs] Dad...
Sandy: I'm sorry, honey.
[starts laughing]
Kirsten: Let's just eat.
Sandy: We're not saying we want you to cook more.
Seth: Oh...
[blows raspberry]
Seth: Hell, no. You remember the meat loaf incident of '98?
Kirsten: That was brisket.
Seth: Yeah, that's my point exactly.
Jimmy: Don't you remember when we were kids? No one could keep us apart.
Julie: Ok, first of all: it is not the same thing. Second of all: am I the gardener in this scenario? I think not.
Jimmy: My parents threatened to cut me off if I didn't break up with you.
Julie: You never told me that.
Jimmy: Why hurt your feelings?
Julie: What did you tell them?
Jimmy: I told them to go to hell. I told them I was in love with you. I was.
Julie: Well, I was easy to love back then. I was beautiful and much nicer.
Jimmy: Jules, come on, you're still beautiful. And we both know you were never nice.
Julie: Ok, first of all: it is not the same thing. Second of all: am I the gardener in this scenario? I think not.
Jimmy: My parents threatened to cut me off if I didn't break up with you.
Julie: You never told me that.
Jimmy: Why hurt your feelings?
Julie: What did you tell them?
Jimmy: I told them to go to hell. I told them I was in love with you. I was.
Julie: Well, I was easy to love back then. I was beautiful and much nicer.
Jimmy: Jules, come on, you're still beautiful. And we both know you were never nice.
Rebecca: It's kind of hard to meet people when you can't let anybody know who you really are and can't stay in one place too long.
Sandy: I can see how that might "salt your game".
Rebecca: "Salt your game". Is that how they talk in Orange county?
Sandy: Stick around. You'll be saying "Rad" in no time.
Sandy: I can see how that might "salt your game".
Rebecca: "Salt your game". Is that how they talk in Orange county?
Sandy: Stick around. You'll be saying "Rad" in no time.
