A troubled youth becomes embroiled in the lives of a close-knit group of people in the wealthy, upper-class neighborhood of Newport Beach, Orange County, California.

Seth: [rubs his boat, Summer Breeze, lovingly] Ohhh, I've missed you. It's been too long.
Ryan: You're talking to a boat, Seth.
Seth: Yeah, I talk to a plastic horse too but that never worries anyone.
Ryan: It worries me.
Ryan: Sometimes I think you talk just to make sounds.
Seth: Well, sometimes I do.
Summer: Do you remember that movie we saw about the two gay guys on the mountain?
Marissa: Lord of the Rings?
Ryan: Maybe you have the Summer flu and you should take some Annabiotics.
Marissa: Hey, how come you're the brains? I'm the one who talked us back into that club.
Seth: I'm sorry. I'm the brains.
Ryan: You can be the beauty.
Marissa: Okay, thanks.
Summer: Great, and what am I, Cohen?
Seth: Uh, the boobs?
[Summer hits him]
Seth: Uh, the bitch?
Summer: Okay, I'll take the boobs.
Seth: Hey. So will I.
[Summer laughs]
Seth: [later]
Marissa: See, I think I should be the brains.
Ryan: No, Seth's the brains.
Marissa: Well, you're clearly not the beauty.
Ryan: Ooooh, and now someone's the bitch.
Summer: Go away, I'm studying... naked!
Seth: That's supposed to keep me away?
Seth: Not now, Mom, I'm studying naked.
Summer: Ew!
Seth: Summer? Come in!
Summer: No way!
Marissa: I love you.
Ryan: Uh... Thank you?
Summer: What do you want from me Cohen?
Seth: I just want you.
Ryan: [Seth has been smoking pot due to stress of going to college] It's almost 3:30. Isn't your interview at 4?
Seth: [high] What are you talking about?
[looks at clock]
Ryan: Are you ready?
Seth: Am I ready? Do me a favor.
[pulls up shirt sleeve and feels bicep]
Seth: Go ahead and feel that. Feel that puppy right there.
Ryan: No.
Seth: Okay. You don't want to touch another man, I get it. You find my slender swimmer's body, um, intimidating.
Ryan: [confused] Something smells.
Seth: No it doesn't. No it doesn't. But they, uh, they say that the first sign of a, um, brain tumor, is, uh, phantom smells so you should lie down.
[Ryan finds can of air freshener]
Seth: Hey. Hey, you solved it. You're a mystery solver. You're like - you're like Encyclopedia Brown. Remember when Encyclopedia Brown went on down to Texas...
[Ryan raises his eyebrows]
Seth: -and solved the mystery of the great shootout? Hey - how about this for a change. A cage match - Encyclopedia Brown versus the Great Brain - to the death.
Ryan: [pause] Are you high?
Seth: [tries to look innocent, then laughs uncontrollably] Am I high? No. No! Come on, man, I love it when you go for the comedy but I would not - I would not quit your day job beating up people. I would.
Seth: [Ryan finds ashtray with joints] I don't know how that got there.
Sandy: So you and Summer seemed pretty chummy yesterday.
Seth: Dad, chummy?
Sandy: It's okay. You can tell me.
Seth: No, really, I can't.
Sandy: If you can't tell your dad, who can you tell?
Seth: Gee, I don't know, ugh Ryan... Mom... that tree over there.
Marissa: So, I'll make you a deal. Whatever song comes on the radio next will be our song.
Ryan: Okay.
[Marissa turns on the radio, a loud rap song comes on]
Ryan: [sarcastically] Oh, yeah. That's definitely us.
Sandy: What are we fighting about?
Kirsten: I don't know, but it's serious!
Jimmy: Your mother has to wake up every morning and be Julie Cooper. That's punishment enough.
Seth: You can't ruin Chrismukkah. It's got twice the resistance of any normal holiday.
Seth: Shhh! We're being stealth!
Taylor Townsend: You know, it is so great that you guys have each other.
Summer: [confused] Thanks.
Taylor Townsend: 'Cause everyone knows that Marissa was the popular one, and Seth, no judgment, but it's not like you got any cooler in the last two years. I mean, everyone just acted that way because they were afraid of Ryan Atwood. I mean, even as a senior, you're still pretty much the biggest geek in Newport.
Summer: [cuts Taylor off] Oh-ho, no. All right, listen to me, skank, just because you're saying really mean things in, like, a really nice voice, doesn't mean that we don't realize that you're just some stupid little skank!
Summer: No, see Zach and I? We're just hanging out. He is not my boyfriend. I do not want a boyfriend, okay. I had a boyfriend, he sailed away.
Summer: Are you making fun of me?
Anna: Most of the time, Summer, you do my job for me.
Summer: Again... not tracking.
Julie: Can I ask you a question?
Kirsten: Mmhmm.
Julie: Do you like that he calls you Kiki?
Kirsten: Hate it.
Julie: 'Cause he kept calling me Juju, like that candy that gets stuck in your teeth. I begged him to stop.
Ryan: Okay, I screwed up yet again. So now what? You're going to kick me out?
Sandy: You think you can mess up so bad we'll just give up on you? You can't. You are part of this family now and you're going to feel the full weight of that. You're going to wish we threw you out.
Seth: [holds up My Little Pony] Who is this?
Summer: [looks embarrassed] No-one.
Seth: [imitating pony's voice] I'm not no-one.
Summer: Princess Sparkle, what do you want?
Kirsten: It would be nice if Uncle Sean could be here.
Sandy: Not if we have to pay for the bar tab.
Marissa: It *will* be fun!
Summer: What's more fun than watching a neurotic freak bat his eyes at perfect pixie chick?
Marissa: I was being sarcastic.
Summer: So was I. Which neither one of us was before Cohen came along and taught us all irony... Jackass!
Seth: So what's the GP, RA?
Ryan: I have no idea what you just said.
Seth: Game plan, Ryan Atwood.
Ryan: You're just using initials now?
Seth: Yeah, it saves time.
Ryan: Well, not if you have to translate.
Seth: GP.
Ryan: Game plan?
Seth: Good point.
Kirsten: He's a consultant.
Sandy: Could you be please be a little more vague?
Kirsten: He knows people.
Sandy: You did it! That was more vague.
Marissa: So, my mum's trying to drag me to cardio bar again. It's her idea of mother-daughter bonding.
Summer: Cardio bar, Coop?
Marissa: Well, she says it's the new Taibo. So maybe I can learn to kick her ass.
Summer: I don't think you need to do any more cardio.
Marissa: What's that supposed to mean?
Summer: Nothing. It's just that - well and I mean this in the least scandalous way but you're looking a little thin.
Marissa: I eat!
Kirsten: [frowns] Why is that ninja smoking a cigarette?
Sandy: Honey honey, I don't actually think that's a ninja, ninjas usually wear capes, right?
Kirsten: oooh so a ninja is like a super hero
Seth: [had enough] mom, dad, you two enjoy
[gets up]
Seth: Ryan
[steps over Sandy's legs]
Seth: give me five minutes
Sandy: Where you goin?
[Ryan smiles]
Sandy: come on back
Ryan: Nice work
[Kirsten smiles, pleased]
Sandy: Never underestimate a parent's ability to mortify his child
Kirsten: [on the phone with wedding planner] Colored lights, no way. White lights only because colored lights remind my father of a carnival. And he hates carnies.
Sandy: Note to self: hang with carnies.
Anna: So I guess you and Mrs. Cohen have a lot in common...
Sandy: Sure sure, we both love, uhh... Seth.
Ryan: I appreciate you driving me down to Chino, but I can take care of this myself. This shouldn't have to be your problem.
Sandy: Hey. If it's a Ryan problem, it's a Cohen problem.
Julie: [Gus is peeing outside near her trailer] Real classy, Gus.
Gus: It's them big gulps. They go right through me. Sneak up on me too.
Julie: That's a *nice* final image.
Sandy: Don't ever get married!
Ryan: I've heard that from you before.
Sandy: Oh, you'll hear it again. I'll be at the bar.
Summer: Your comic has turned these two idiots into idiots.
Seth: [about Kaitlin] She's Jimmy Cooper's daughter, theft is in her blood.
Seth: If you were this sensitive and neurotic when we were daing maybe things would've worked out.
Kirsten: Is everything okay?
Seth: Hmm? Yeah, it's fine.
Theresa: I'm pregnant.
Seth: Well, except for that.
Luke: Just give me the signal, and I'll drop the Great Gatsby.
[Ryan turns out the light Marissa moves closer]
Ryan: Thought you wanted to sleep?
Marissa: Suddenly not so tired.
Sandy: Hey, Cal. Always a pleasure, although if I may, why are we meeting in a parking garage?
Caleb: Because my office might be bugged. My home, your home, who knows what the Feds are up to?
Sandy: Wow, you've really flipped your noodle haven't, you?
Seth: Name me ONE thing about Newport that isn't evil.
Ryan: [Summer and Marissa are walking up behind Seth] I will name you two.
Summer: I'm sorry I don't get references before 1990.
Seth: I said I wanted to marry her, not date her!
Ryan: Sometimes you've got to let the rich people help you.
Seth: Its kinda hard to apologise if I don't know what it is I'm apologising for.
Summer: Well its kinda hard to forgive you if you don't know what you're supposed to be apologising for.
Kirsten: Oh, someone, please stop him before he starts singing "Greased Lightning."
Seth: Do it, dad. Travolta's your bitch.
Sandy: Oh, thank you, son.
Summer: Thanks for almost getting my bathing suit wet, Cohen.
Seth: My pleasure.
Ryan: [mocking Summer, nasal tone] Cohen, I can't believe that you did that, Cohen.
Sandy: It's great that you hung in there after all the foreplay.
Seth: Fore-what now?
Caleb Nichol: I've come to ask a favor.
Sandy: I'm sorry, what did you say?
Caleb Nichol: You didn't hear me?
Sandy: No, I heard you, I... I just want to make you say it again.
Summer: You know, Cohen, with your two hands on the wheel and the wind blowing through your hair
[looks at Seth, nods]
Summer: you actually looked kinda hot.
Seth: Let me guess, Summer, you have a
[shrugs, amused]
Seth: weakness for seamen.
Summer: [screws up her face] Ewww Cohen, and then there's that.
Seth: Nah, aww.
Zach: [on Seth and Summer] Even when you're not a couple you'll always be a couple. You're Joanie and Chachi, Luke and Leia.
Seth: Um, Luke and Leia were brother and sister.
Zach: Yeah, well, may the force be with you.
Caleb: Do you hear a clicking on the phone? Every time I try to dial and I swear, I hear a clicking.
Julie: Okay, Nixon. Paranoid, much?
Julie: [to Volchock who has extended his arm to shake her hand] Keep that grimy paw away from me. Unless you wanna see what ten years of Cardio Barre can do to your face.
Seth: Amazing. This whole time, I thought you were a nice guy.
Zach: Wake up! I'm a water polo player. We're never nice guys.
Julie: [sniping at Jimmy and Hailey] Classy choice, Jimmy. Although it's pretty obvious that you're with her because you can't be with Kirsten. You know, in psychology, I think that's called transference.
Sandy: If all we're gunna do is send them to their room and make them do homework, what are they going to learn?
Kirsten: Their homework.
Seth: So what you're saying is that when you two go to Italy you'll achieve this... harmony.
Summer: Look I just wanna be straightforward with you so you can plan your freekout accordingly.
Kirsten: Julie, I am not going to a place called The Petting Zoo. You don't know where the pets have been.
Sandy: I promise you, I'd rather send you to jail than get in bed with your father.
Caleb Nichol: It's always cause'a Kirsten. When you railroaded my dinner, was that cause'a her too?
Sandy: No. That one was for you.
Seth: Well, if you need anything, I'll take the graveyard shift.
Ryan: I think we'll manage.
Seth: I was afraid you'd say that.
Caleb: What is that flower truck doing in our driveway? I get the feeling that it's been there every week.
Julie: Because it has.
Caleb: We get flowers delivered every week?
Julie: Yes, Cal. They're living things. They die.
Julie: [when Luke hits on her in the hall] Luke, you're a student at this school. I'm Marissa's mother.
Luke: [incredulous] You mean it's over?
Julie: No, of course not. I meant in the hall. I'll see you tonight.
Marissa: What happens in the mall stays in the mall.
Ryan: You go in the tent, I'll stay out here and look out for bears and store-guards.
Seth: [about having sex with Summer for the first time] Ryan, I was Nemo, and I just wanted to go home.
Sandy: Why don't we give up? Oh, give up with me, honey! We could let the Gruesome Twosome destroy our careers, or we could sit here, enjoy obscene amounts of Dr. Phil, and destroy them ourselves.
Luke: You know you're a little far from 8 mile
[pulls down Ryan's hood]
Summer: Ryan. I'm sorry, I thought you were the evil step-monster.
Ryan: She let me in. She seems nice.
Summer: Yeah, well she just switched anti-depressants. Give it a day.
Seth: [complimenting Sandy and Kirsten's parenting skills] Hey man, they raised me, okay? Proof, pudding. Speaking of pudding, Mother, do we have any tapioca on tap?
Julie: You should get another glass of champagne because this is one surprise you won't find posted on the internet.
Anna: Wait. Are you the kid from Chino who steals cars and sets people's houses on fire?
Anna: So you're saying I'm making my debut into society with Newport's most wanted?
Ryan: Is that going to be a problem?
Anna: I can't wait!
Summer: You just gotta get right back on that horse, Coop. You gotta giddy up, horsy!
Seth: Let's recap. I got disco'd by two girls in one night. And, unfortunately, not the first time that's happened.
Summer: We're not having sex, by the way.
Seth: Excellent. There's not enough pain and suffering around us already.
Seth, Kirsten: Oy humbug!
Marissa: [on why she won't hook up with D.J] He's the yard guy.
Summer: Well, he can park his truck in my driveway anytime.
Seth: [Graduation is that day] When they announce my name, uh, could you *not* do that cheer you did for me when I won Capture the Flag at parents' weekend?
Sandy: W-which cheer was that? Oh! Oh, oh, oh! Check out my boy Cohen! Can you believe how he's growin? The competition away he's blowin!
Seth: That's the one. Please don't do that. Ever.
[They smile and laugh]
Sandy: There's no need for sarcasm.
Seth: I'm not being sarcastic.
Sandy: Well, it's hard to tell sometimes.
Caleb Nichol: Just remember, whatever happens in that courtroom, I did what I did for this family.
Caleb: Thank you for letting me spend the night in jail. It was the most vile, most inhuman night of my life.
Sandy: Well, coming from the guy who married Julie Cooper, that's saying something.
Seth: How was the party dad?... I think someone called the cops.
Marissa: [speaking loudly] Uh, what's that, Seth? Did you say you need a ride to a Star Wars convention?
[She walks into the hallway with Seth and closes the door]
Seth: The Star Wars convention? I'm sorry. Her top was off. You couldn't have at least said X-Men for me?
Sandy: [speaking to Julie about the guy blackmailing her over her role in an '80s porn movie] You handle Marisa and I'll handle the Colonel.
Julie: That's a Boogie Nights reference.
Sandy: Expect a lot of them.
Summer: Suddenly, my family not looking so dysfunctional.
Marissa: You do realize that this is my family too?
Seth: Wait. Hang on. I'm not goin' anywhere until somebody tells me what happened last night. Mom, would you please fill me in?
[Kirsten leaves]
Seth: Mom! I- Oh, I get it. I'm just here for the comic relief.
D.J.: Guess I'd better prepare myself for some drama, huh?
Marissa: You have no idea.
Summer: Ugh, this bikini is so uncomfortable. I need to go get a new one. You want to go to South Coast?
Marissa: Totally. There's a Paul Frank sale there on Wednesday.
Summer: Wednesday? I can't. I have plans with Zach.
Marissa: Oh, more plans with Zach, huh?
Summer: Yes. The more time I spend with Zach, the less time I have to think about - God, what's his face? Built like a beanpole, curly hair, runs away like a little bitch on a sailboat leaving nothing but a note for his girlfriend who cried and cried over him till the Fourth of July when she decided she doesn't cry over bitches on boats.
Marissa: Seth. His name. It's Seth.
Summer: I know. I'm just doing that thing where I pretend I don't and I have to use a lot of descriptive insults to give voice to my inner pain.
Ryan: Kaitlin's back.
Summer: Mini Cooper?
Seth: NOT so mini.
Seth: Wow, he came back, people never leave and come back.
Tom Willington: Sandy Cohen, working on the weekend.
Sandy: Tom Willington, as I live and breathe.
Summer: [after Taylor has tricked Summer into giving up Social Chair position] Just so you know, you and your friend the Dean may have won this round, but the war is not over.
Taylor Townsend: Well, unless you have an exit strategy, don't even get out of the boat. I am a human quagmire.
Summer: [tries to look unruffled, then stops random passing student] What's a quagmire?
[student ignores her and walks away]
Summer: Hello?
[to entire hallway]
Summer: What's a quagmire?
Zach: Who's Curt Schilling, anyway?
Sandy: Nobody needs to know, we can say you're taking a trip.
Kirsten: In this town a trip is always rehab.
Seth: Well he can't have gone that way cause that's the ocean.
Seth: Are you actually angry at me for being jealous of you being jealous of Zach?
Seth: Mom, on the other hand, Waspy McWasp.
Sandy: We're so proud.
Kirsten: I am not a Wasp!
Seth: Sure you're not.
Kirsten: Sometimes you make it hard to hate you.
Sandy: I know, it's part of my charm.
Kirsten: And sometimes you make it easy.
Summer: [after Summer and Seth have tricked Taylor into revealing her affair with Dean Hess] Hey, skank.
Seth: You were expecting someone taller? Blonder, with a pageboy haircut?
Summer: Welcome to the Terradome, Townsend. You're busted.
Taylor Townsend: [smugly] For what, exactly?
Summer: Hmm. A little extracurricular activity with Dean Hess? Yeah. I saw you two making out at the dance.
Taylor Townsend: [smugly] So what if we did?
Seth: [stumped, to Summer] She makes one hell of a poker player. I mean, she's pretty good.
Summer: Yeah, well, unless you and the Dean want this little thingamajig...
Seth: [corrects Summer] Indiscretion.
Seth: Yeah.
Summer: Starting with the lifting of the ban of Ryan Atwood from Harbor.
Taylor Townsend: [indifferent] You can go ahead and tell anyone you want. No-one's going to believe you.
Seth: [frustrated] She's like a block of ice.
Summer: You willing to bet your squeaky little reputation on that, Taylor trash? 'Cause I've got a *huge* mouth and an even bigger buddy list. Mmm-hmm.
[whips out Sidekick]
Summer: See this right here? Sidekick. Walkie-talkie of the twenty-first century. Who should we radio first?
Seth: How about my dad?
Summer: Yeah. 10-4, good buddy. So what's it going to be? You can either tell Seth's dad the perverted truth and save your sorry ass, or you can roll the dice. Over and out.
Kirsten: Is it over?
Sandy: I promise you, it never started.
Kirsten: Julie, are you okay?
Julie: Duh! I don't need any steak knives! Do you want some coffee cake?
Seth: So you guys will be in here and I'll be on the other side of this soundproof wall.
Summer: Are you OK?
Seth: Yeah, just an allergic reaction to the universe.
Seth: Look at all these people, these normal, non-traumatised people - in relationships, in love.
Caleb Nichol: What the hell is that?
Sandy: It's my mother's meat loaf.
Caleb Nichol: [looks around] Oh God, your mother's here?
Sandy: Her recipe is. I'm trying out a chef. You want some?
Caleb Nichol: Actually, I think the sight of your mother's meat loaf has turned me into a vegetarian.
Sandy: And you know, they do find foster home for kids your age.
Seth: Yeah, because everyone wants a brand new teenager.
[everyone stares at him]
Seth: I'm sorry if I'm the only one here that will state the obvious...
Kirsten: Seth.
Jimmy: If there's one thing you know how to do, it's get money from rich old men.
Seth: That's right. It is complicated. It's complicated by the fact that there's an Eddie, and this Eddie still obviously has feelings for Theresa. In fact that would actually make this romantic triangle more of a romantic... rhombus.
Seth: You guys really wouldn't hurt me, because that would be so clichéd.
[they pick him up]
Seth: I guess you're fans of the cliché.
Kirsten: My dad is marrying Julie Cooper. Julie Cooper... is my step-mom.
Jimmy: Maybe we'll get you another bottle.
Sandy: Yeah, drink up.
Kirsten: This is an unholy alliance. This is two storm fronts colliding. This is the apocalypse for us all.
Sandy: Well, you've been tryin'a get him to come to Thanksgiving for years.
Kirsten: The only reason why he is here is because his food didn't show up and the game is on.
Sandy: You know, you might wanna slow down with that. You're drinkin on an empty stomach.
Kirsten: Don't you tell me to slow down. Tell him to hit the bricks!
Sandy: Hit the bricks? Who talks like that?
Kirsten: Don't you judge me. I have a family that won't let me cook for Thanksgiving dinner, I have a father who is using me for my candied yams, and we are out of Merlot!
Anna: Do you want some... privacy?
Sandy: Oh...
Seth: You know what I mean?
Ryan: Hardly ever.
Sandy: We suck.
Kirsten: That was not very smooth.
Sandy: I told you this was a bad idea.
Kirsten: No, you didn't!
Seth: I don't wanna know. Don't care.
Julie: Why can't you be happy for me? I am.
Seth: Too complicated for banter about boats and Hanson?
Sandy: What are you going to do? Steal a car? Burn down a house? Punch out the captain of the water polo team? Those ships have sailed, my friend.
Sandy: I never knew you to be an impulse shopper.
Seth: [showing off his fake IDs to Marissa] Sievy Sebulsky of Menlo Park. It's nice to meet you. Have you met my associate, Marty Navis?
Seth: Yeah... yeah, I should apologize. It's just my pride.
Ryan: What pride?
Seth: Yeah, I guess there's nothin' standin' in my way.
Sandy: It's ironic. Julie leaves Jimmy, marries you. Now he's worth millions and now you're going to be broke.
Sandy: [about his mother talking about him] If you're happy, you're not working hard enough.
Seth: [Seth is dressed like a pirate] Summer and I are at war.
Sandy: A pirate war?
Seth: I'm not self-absorbed, am I, Ryan?
[Ryan looks away]
Seth: Me? Me? Me?
Seth: Damn it! I'm being sarcastic.
Ryan: So, sarcasm's like breathing for you.
Seth: Yeah, Summer's dad thinks sarcasm is a sign of weakness.
Ryan: Sounds like a smart man.
Sandy: We can't give in to threats like that, we don't negotiate with the Newpsies!
Summer: You know, Cohen... your two hands on the wheel, and the wind blowing through your hair... you actually looked kinda hot.
Seth: Let me guess, Summer. You have a weakness for semen?
Summer: Ew, Cohen! And then there's that.
Zach: Look Seth, I've always liked you but if I have to sacrifice our friendship to be with Summer, I'll do it.
Seth: Amazing, all this time I thought you were a nice guy.
Zach: Wake up, I'm a waterpolo player, we're never nice guys.
Seth: Well looks like I won't need to worry about adding you to Atomic County, you're already there - the demon Water Polo player, the ironicists nemesis.
Zach: And its gonna take a little bit more than quick-quips and pop-culture laden bromides to win little Miss Vixen.
Seth: So its war.
Zach: Its war.
Seth: The timing in this house is a thing of beauty.
Lindsay Gardner: Maybe I don't want to be Caleb Nichol's daughter.
[Taylor prances into Summer's room]
Summer: Who let you in?
Taylor Townsend: I speak fluent housekeeper.
Seth: Maybe if you paid attention to anything other then that stupid hospital, you'd notice mom's been passing out before dinner.
Sandy: Don't talk to your father like that.
Seth: That would require you to act like my father.
Jimmy: Well, we've basically blown through our entire budget.
Sandy: Well you're really not so good at managing the money are you Coop?
Jimmy: No, I'm... really not.
Ryan: What are you doing for dinner?
Theresa: Nothing.
Ryan: Don't say you're not hungry, I know you.
Theresa: I didn't say I wasn't hungry. I'm starving. Why do you think I'm being such a bitch?
Ryan: Lindsay wants to hang out with the sister she never knew she had. I can't stand in the way, or make it all about me, right?
Seth: No, that's something I would do.
Trey Atwood: Ryan said you talk a lot.
Seth: Yeah, its kind of a problem but hopefully one you'll come to find endearing.
Seth: In fact, having you around to defend me, I've kinda gotten soft. Without anybody picking on me, there's really been no need for the Seth Cohen retaliatory zinger.
Marissa: I think we should spend the entire summer just being normal.
Ryan: We're not holding Seth to that?
Marissa: No, no. That'd be impossible.
Seth: Yeah, it's too bad you're leaving. We never eat like this.
Kirsten: That's not true. I cook all the time.
Seth: [scoffs] Dad...
Sandy: I'm sorry, honey.
[starts laughing]
Kirsten: Let's just eat.
Sandy: We're not saying we want you to cook more.
Seth: Oh...
[blows raspberry]
Seth: Hell, no. You remember the meat loaf incident of '98?
Kirsten: That was brisket.
Seth: Yeah, that's my point exactly.
Marissa: [about Ryan] I think he hates me.
Summer: He doesn't hate you!
Marissa: He turned down sex!
Summer: He might be onto something...
Summer: You've got to admit, Coop.
[Marissa looks at her]
Summer: Whatever happens, Ryan facing off with Trey to avenge your honour - God, that is so *freaking* hot!
[Marissa doesn't say anything]
Summer: In a mythic, biblical, Samurai Western kind of way.
Seth: No. What about the Ryan and Seth go to Europe money, my man? Get back in there. We could get Vespas.
Theresa: [after telling Marissa of her childhood hopes and dreams] But I guess life's not really like that, is it?
Caleb: What is a booty call?
Summer: Where other than the Bait Shop are tickets always plentiful and the band never too loud to talk over?
Summer: Lost my mind there, didn't I?
Marissa: Little bit.
Jimmy: Don't you remember when we were kids? No one could keep us apart.
Julie: Ok, first of all: it is not the same thing. Second of all: am I the gardener in this scenario? I think not.
Jimmy: My parents threatened to cut me off if I didn't break up with you.
Julie: You never told me that.
Jimmy: Why hurt your feelings?
Julie: What did you tell them?
Jimmy: I told them to go to hell. I told them I was in love with you. I was.
Julie: Well, I was easy to love back then. I was beautiful and much nicer.
Jimmy: Jules, come on, you're still beautiful. And we both know you were never nice.
Sandy: Just because you're leaving doesn't mean I'm letting you go.
Rebecca: It's kind of hard to meet people when you can't let anybody know who you really are and can't stay in one place too long.
Sandy: I can see how that might "salt your game".
Rebecca: "Salt your game". Is that how they talk in Orange county?
Sandy: Stick around. You'll be saying "Rad" in no time.
Sandy: Hey, how are ya?
Sandy: I'm Sandy.
Danny: Why don't you take a shower?
Sandy: Pardon me?
Danny: Jus- just kiddin. I-I like ya dirty.
Danny: Sandy, dirty. Sandy, dirty.
Sadie Campbell: [referring to Ryan's facial bruising] So what are you gonna tell your folks about your face?
Ryan: Sandy and Kirsten are used to it.