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An Emmy-winning show, hosted by comedian Joel McHale, deals with a wickedly funny, fast-paced parts of the most titillating -- and at times tasteless -- segments on talk TV. Starting with ... See full summary »
Host: Nicole Kidman's not going to Tom Cruise's wedding. It's not that she's bitter, it's just that she's an actress and she doesn't feel like working that day.
Host: Dr. Kevorkian was on Larry King Live last week - which had to look pretty tempting for him.
[repeated line shown from "Good Morning America"] Ann Curry: Good morning, Good morning everybody, and the news this morning good morning.
Kelly Andrews: [at the beginning of every "Chat Stew" segment] So meaty!
[parody of Apple's iPhone commercials] Jealous Boyfriend: [holding an iPhone] With iPhone, dialing contacts is a snap. Let's say you wanted to contact your ex-girlfriend to let her know how badly she's hurt you. Simply press her name and the call is dialed. Female Voice: Dammit Rick, stop calling me! Jealous Boyfriend: [pressing buttons] Then, when another call comes in, simply place that call on hold, and answer the second one. Detective Hansen: Detective Hansen of the Bay Area police department. Jealous Boyfriend: To bloc the call, simply press ignore. Iphone is also the best ipod ever made. With it, you can listen to the song that was playing when she said you'd be together forever. Then, you can use Google Maps to locate the street where she's moved away to. Simply touch the traffic button, and iPhone tells you the best route to take to propose to her... again. Apple's iPhone: a revolutionary portable device that never leaves your side... and never sleeps with your cousin
Host: For all the latest "American Idol" info, we go to E!'s own Ryan Seacrest. Oh, Ryan? Ryan Seacrest: Computer, I'd like a chocolate shake... with a whiskey chaser. I said a chocolate shake with a whiskey. Tom, I think the replicator's broken. Tom McNamara: That's not the replicator, Ryan. That's the live feed to "The Soup." Ryan Seacrest: Oh. Joel, I'd like a chocolate shake and a whiskey chaser. Tom, I think Joel's broken. Host: Only on the inside.
[on David Beckham's first soccer game in America] Host: Americans learned a lot about soccer that day; for instance, it's played by people who are over ten years old.
Elmo: Elmo says fuck the police!
Host: Pepe, show me on the puppet were the puppet touched you.
Kevin Federline: Love... is love Host: Shhh, Kevin... you had me at "Duh".
[repeated line] Whitney Houston: Kiss my ass!
Pat O'Brien: [comparing Britney Spears to Princess Diana] And, believe it or not, look at the similarities between Brit and the late princess: they both have two boys, both went through very public divorces, both romantically involved with men reportedly Moslem, and both stalked by the paparazzi. Host: Or, we could just focus on the way they're different, such as one was an advocate for world peace visiting land mine-covered war-torn countries, while the other stays up all night touring convenience stores in search of the perfect Twinkie.
[on the children's show "Hip-Hop Harry"] "Stupid" Scott: I've never had dried apples - what are they? Host: That's when Hip-Hop Harry pulled out a gun and shot the kid.
Host: [about "Memoirs of a Geisha Kong"] They totally used Chinese gorillas! I'm offended.
Elmo: George Bush doesn't care about Muppets!
Host: [on phone] You're a player. No, you're the playa! You! Okay, we're *both* playas! See you at the Cheesecake Factory!