W. C. Fields — American Comedian born on January 29, 1880, died on December 25, 1946

William Claude Dukenfield, better known as W. C. Fields, was an American comedian, actor, juggler and writer. Fields' comic persona was a misanthropic and hard-drinking egotist, who remained a sympathetic character despite his snarling contempt for dogs and children... (wikipedia)

When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.
There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it.
It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.