Tony Micell, a retired baseball player, becomes the housekeeper of Angela Bower, an advertising executive in New York. Together they raise their kids, Samantha Micelli and Jonathon Bower, with help from Mona Robinson, Angela's man-crazy mother.

Tony: Hey look at this nose. I fractured this nose three times and I can still smell.
Samantha Micelli: Yeah! I broke my finger twice and I can still dial.
Mona Robinson: I once fractured my pelvis.
Tony: Yeah, and she can still walk.
Angela: Well, we got on a plane you know swish, swoosh.
Tony: Yeah, well, it sounds like something happened in between the swish and the swoosh.
Angela: Well, we went to Las Vegas, and we got married but I thought we got the marriage annulled the next day?
Angela's first Husband: No. These are just the papers that divided up the garbage collection. Angela, we're still married.
Mona Robinson: [bursts into laughter] And to think all of this time that you were married to Michael you were a bigamist.
Samantha Micelli: Now dad remember. Smile, be polite, and whatever you do don't tell the pig joke.
Tony: That one is the real ice breaker.
Angela: Did it seem to you like Jan and Steve might be a good match?
Tony: What? Angela are you kidding me? All they said all night was hello, goodbye, and ehh I'm choking.
[repeated line]
Tony: Ay-oh! Oh-ay!
Mona Robinson: [when Frankie Fitzgerald tries to out bid her daughter to purchase Tony as part of a neighbourhood auction] Angela, I know what's good for you... Buy him!

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