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The superstars of World Wrestling Entertainment's "RAW" brand collide each and every week on WWE Monday Night RAW, broadcast once again each and every week on the USA cable network.
The Rock: The Rock is gonna lay the smackdown on your candy ass! The Rock is gonna go down Know Your Role Boulevard, hang that right at Jabroni Drive, and proceed to check your candy ass in at the Smackdown Hotel. Know you role and shut your mouth. If you smell... what the Rock is cookin'!
John Cena: You can't see me!
Jerry 'The King' Lawler: She shouldn't even be here right now, she should be in the back with Mr. McMahon, having fun. JR: How do you know that was fun? Jerry 'The King' Lawler: What do you mean how would that be fun? You don't think that would be fun? JR: Well, he's not exactly my type, if you know what I mean...
Viscera: You know Trish, uhhh. I'm really glad that you agreed to this, because eating, always gets me in the mood. Trish Stratus: [laughs] Really, well. You must be the horniest guy on the planet then.
Vince McMahon: [shouts] You're fired!
Hulk Hogan: What you gonna do, brother? What you gonna do when Hulkamania runs wild on you?
Jerry 'The King' Lawler: [after looking at a Playboy issue featuring Christy Hemme] You have no idea what I'm using as a bookmark!
Nature Boy Ric Flair: Wheelin', dealin', jet ridin' son of a gun.
Stone Cold: And that's the bottom line, because Stone Cold said so. Stone Cold: If you wanna see Stone Cold Steve Austin open up a can of whoop-ass, give me a *hell* yeah! Stone Cold: *What*?
Snitsky: It wasn't my *fault*!
JR: Oh, my God! JR: Business is about to pick up. JR: He's running like a scalded dog. JR: This is gonna be one slobberknocker! JR: Aw, *come on*! JR: He's getting whipped like a government mule.
Batista: Take this however you want it, but I think that you, would make a great politician. Eric Bischoff: Thank you Batista! Batista: You're Welcome. Eric Bischoff: Hmm. Mayor Bischoff. I like that. [Batista who just left steps back into frame putting his arm on Eric's shoulder] Batista: Better yet. Used Car Salesman.
Val Venis: [shouts] Hello, ladies!
[In a comedy skit, Kane and Daniel Bryan are attending an "Anger Management Group Therapy" session. The group leader asks Kane to "Tell us what makes you angry. Start with your childhood."] Daniel Bryan: [rubs his eyes] This is a bad idea. Kane: Well, I grew up locked in a basement, suffering severe psychological and emotional scarring when my brother set my parents on fire. From there, I shifted around among a series of mental institutions until I was grown, at which point, I buried my brother alive... twice. Since then, I've set a couple of people on fire, and abducted various co-workers. Oh, and I, uh... once electrocuted a man's testicles. Years ago, I had a girlfriend named Katie, but, uh... let's just say that that didn't turn out so well. My real father is a guy named Paul Bearer, who I recently trapped in a meat locker. I've been married, divorced, broke up my ex-wife's wedding, and tombstoned the priest. And for reasons never explained, I have an unhealthy obsession with torturing Pete Rose.
Jerry Lawler: Puppies!
Vince McMahon: Right now. Uh, the following Public Service Announcement is brought to you by the chairman of World Wrestling Entertainment, Vincent Kennedy McMahon. Kids I have a lesson for you. If you're, a user, you're a loser. Don't wind-up like Shawn Michaels. Don't do drugs. Thank you very much.
Chris Jericho: Booker T's haircut looks like a pineapple!
Jerry 'The King' Lawler: Christy won't go anywhere without Lita, of course Lita will go anywhere. JR: You can't prove that.
JR: Now he met the whole Turnbuckle family!
Vince McMahon: [J.R. is talking to Steve Austin on the phone and Mr. McMahon and the Corporation shows up] [to JR] Vince McMahon: Who are you talking to? JR: [covering up who he is really talking to] My cousin.
Stone Cold: Austin 3:16 says I just whipped your ass!
Shawn Michaels: I may be going out on a limb here, but I'm guessing Howard Finkel does not get a lot of chicks!
Vince McMahon: [after Howard Finkel tries to say goodbye to Mr. McMahon after leaving WWF for a short time] Vince McMahon: [yells] Vince McMahon: Get the hell away from me!