Carrie Snow — American Comedian

Carrie Snow is an American stand-up comedian, comic writer known for writing for the television series Roseanne, and actor. Snow was also featured in the documentary The Aristocrats... (wikipedia)

Technology... is a queer thing. It brings you great gifts with one hand, and it stabs you in the back with the other.
The pursuit of happiness is a most ridiculous phrase: if you pursue happiness you'll never find it.
A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car.
No day is so bad it can't be fixed with a nap.
Why get married and make one man miserable when I can stay single and make thousands miserable?