Jen Kirkman Quotes

Jen Kirkman — American Comedian born on August 28, 1974,

Jennifer Ann "Jen" Kirkman is an American stand-up comedian, screenwriter, and actress. She is known for her regular appearances as a round-table panelist on Chelsea Lately, as well as for her appearances on the Funny or Die sketch series Drunk History, and its 2013 continuation television series on Comedy Central. She has released two comedy albums, Self Help and Hail to the Freaks. Her debut book, I Can Barely Take Care of Myself: Tales From a Happy Life Without Kids, was published in April 2013, and became a New York Times bestseller... (wikipedia)

Instead of saving for someone else's college education, I'm currently saving for a luxury retirement community replete with golf carts and handsome young male nurses who love butterscotch.

Parenthood can be very rewarding, but let's face it, so are margaritas at the adults-only pool.

Childfree women are actually great assets to the planet. Our carbon footprint is smaller than a mom's! And we have enough money to write checks to organizations that help kids get vaccinations, vitamins, and educations yet have plenty of free time to advise your daughter that one day she will regret piercing her lip.

I'm very big into just feeling good and doing what I want; I'm not very calculated or thoughtful about my moves.

Having a child is a lifetime commitment, the biggest one you can possibly make.