Kyle Kinane — American Comedian born on December 23, 1976,

Kyle Christian Kinane is an American stand-up comedian from Addison, Illinois... (wikipedia)

The exciting part about life is finding out what you can't do, because you don't find out until you try to do something and you're stopped.
The time that I have on this earth should just be filled with good times.
I was raised Catholic in the Midwest, so I can't enjoy anything.
Sometimes I realize halfway through a story, I'm like, 'Why would anyone care about this? It's uninteresting.'
I now get to have the life I wanted when I was 18 years old. Now, I'm like, 'I can buy any skateboard I want.'